- What gives you energy?
Interviewing people! Every time I sit down with someone for an interview, whether it’s a celebrity or my next-door neighbor, my curiosity spikes and my energy soars.
Playing my energy-enhancing playlist also helps boost energy on sluggish “blah days.” My eclectic playlist includes Empire State of Mind, Lady Marmalade or What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love and (almost) anything by Melissa Etheridge. Dancing — like no one is watching — to music we love is always energizing!
- What’s your secret life hack?
My first life hack: When you’re feeling down or unmotivated, do something for someone else. That’s a mantra my mother taught me and it inspired me to write my first book, The Love Project, to thank her for the multitude of ways she’s influenced me.
My second life hack: Focus on gratitude for the love in your life. It doesn’t have to be romantic love, but the love you feel from family, friends, nature, and your beloved pets.
- Name a book that changed your life.
Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. I read it in my early teens and it taught me to take charge of my life (have goals, ambition and timelines) and not be like Tess, who succumbed to fate and the weight of class and societal pressures.
- You unexpectedly find 15 minutes in your day, what do you do with it?
Take a nap! It worked for Winston Churchill and it works for me. Even a 10-15 minute “power nap” can refresh our minds and re-energize us.
- Share a quote that you love and that gives you strength or peace.
The poem by E.E Cummings, “love is a place.” At first I took the words literally, that love is embodied in beautiful, romantic places like Paris, my hometown of Carmel-by-the-Sea or Papa Westray, Scotland.* But in writing my book, and interviewing dozens of Carmelites about love, I learned that it also means, love is a state of mind where you can find strength and “brightness” and “peace.”
*Papay Westray is an island in the Orkneys, where my husband Frank and I spent our honeymoon (thirty-three years ago!).
- Do you have any role models for living a thriving life?
My mother is ninety-three and lives near Glasgow in Scotland. She found romantic love in her late eighties — after being a widow for twenty years. Her unexpected love story inspired my book, The Love Project and her busy, purpose-driven life makes me smile and inspires me every day. She was a hardworking nurse, brought up my two sisters and me, and is always fighting the good fight, whether that’s through Amnesty International, Trees for Life or Save the Whales.
- What’s a surprising way you practice mindfulness?
When I’m stuck in traffic, instead of getting frustrated, I try to focus on taking deep breaths and exhaling my inner “heat” through my mouth. I sometimes repeat this (aspirational) mantra on each breath: I’m a force for good, I inspire, I bring calm, I bring joy, I bring laughter.
I also get on my yoga mat every morning, before breakfast, even for just ten minutes. I try to attend a yoga class two or three times a week. My inspiring teacher, Yogi David, is featured in my Love Project book. He told me, “Love is like the heartbeat that keeps moving through you, the pulse is love. That’s what connects all things.”
- How do you reframe negative thinking?
It’s easy to fall into a pit of negativity, especially when life doesn’t go as planned. I was full of negative thoughts and fear after a violent encounter in early 2022. For me, leaning on family and friends, spending time in nature, and finding profound purpose in my Love Project helped reframe my negativity. It took many months, but after learning valuable life lessons from each conversation, I eventually learned to feel grateful for that life-changing encounter. Striving to find silver linings and growth opportunities after setbacks is always a good strategy. But sometimes it can take years.
- What brings you optimism?
Spending time with my two grown children and their life partners. I also volunteer in the classroom at Rancho Cielo in Salinas, a vocational school for disadvantaged teens. My children’s and my students’ vitality, and their concern for the environment and their peers always make me optimistic for the future.
- Fill in the blanks: People think I/I’m outgoing, but really I/I’m ___quite shy. [Curiosity bridges the gap!]
- What was the biggest turning point in your life?
Marrying the love of my life, Frank and moving to the United States in 1992. I felt embraced and welcomed by the warmth, optimism and exuberance of the people we met here. Northern California offers a rare blend of cultural diversity, natural splendor, and opportunities to learn and flourish.
12. What’s your evening routine that helps you unwind and go to sleep?
I had the pleasure of interviewing one of the world’s sleep experts, Professor Matt Walker, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley. He taught me the importance of closing my laptop before dinner, limiting screen time two to three hours before bedtime and turning down the lights gradually as we prepare for sleep. Reading a good (physical) book for a few minutes always helps me drop off to sleep.