Be willing to accept more of your range, the good, the bad and the ugly and take as much loving care of your self through every step of the way as possible. Stuff is going to come up! Automatically. It’s going to challenge your status quo. That’s okay!!Totally normal. You’re going to remember things and feel things that are uncomfortable and hurt, but you can. If we couldn’t we wouldn’t! Let it be! Two inhales through the nose, one long exhale through the mouth, repeat for a few rounds. Move your body in ways that are safe. Get support to help you see through your unconscious rising.
Starting something new is scary. Learning to believe in yourself can be a critical precursor to starting a new initiative. Why is it so important to learn to believe in yourself? How can someone work on gaining these skills? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, authors, writers, coaches, medical professionals, teachers, to share empowering insights about “How To Learn To Believe In Yourself.” As a part of this series we had the pleasure of interviewing Allison Hallman.
Allison Hallman is an emotional processing + spiritual embodiment practitioner with more than a decade of studies + practice in culturally transformational healing arts. As a curious and conscious explorer, she helps women re-define success and connection with themselves through accessing deeper levels of perception, trust through learning and listening, and clarity through awareness to experience more energy, freedom and joy.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Thank you for having me! I sure can… I was born and raised in South Carolina where I have really enjoyed being outdoors, in nature, in the grass, flowers, trees or dirt or water. My parents split when I was 5 so I learned about life from my parents in different ways separately and variably! I grew up with my family having a farm about 40 minutes from our house in town and I got to spend a lot of time exploring and observing animals and life cycles with plants and animals and how to catch and clean fish and a slower way of life with cycles and seasons. My dad kept a vintage sports fisherman on the coast in a small town marina so we spent a lot of time out on the water as well, on sandbars and in marshlands. I had all four grandparents very close to me growing up, I spent a lot of time with them. They allowed space for me to explore and create without so much attachment to my outcomes. I grew up with a bunch of cousins close to my age and we all got together for birthday parties and holidays, weekends and sleepovers. I enjoyed playing in the back yard and woods, riding my bike for hours, creating through different mediums, especially clay and pastels, writing poetry, making art and singing 🙂
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
Seeing and caring for my father through the end of his life when I was 20 is what drew me to explore our metaphysical reality and the creative nature of this life. Ever since, I’ve been going into different levels and layers of what it is to be in these bodies. I identified with my father quite a lot and, through that tender time I was seeing a life; the relationships, the choices, the highs and lows, the spaces in between, and seeing the end of that, as closely as I could and was…mind blown. The conventional medical protocol for his late stage cancer didn’t feel good to uphold as a caregiver and he wasn’t responding well to it, so I called in an alternative medicine doctor who taught me about the healing power of phytonutrients, he bought the juicer and all of the fruits and vegetables and showed me how to take a greater level of care into my own hands. I experienced empowerment and freedom in health care for the first time in my life. I began to explore what health was and all of the ways I have a say in my experience, to learning about how I create my life and where I’m coming from…Two years prior to this, my father took my sisters and I on a cruise for my high school graduation and there was a hypnotist on the ship. One night my sister and I wandered into his live show and I participated in the audience, and went under in this full on hypnotic guided and physical experience. He called into the audience to see if there was anyone who was participating and could come up on stage and everyone in the booths around us pointed to me! As I rose from the far back of the theater, the facilitator told me I wouldn’t know how to use the stairs and that it would be as if I had never seen stairs before in my life. As I approached the steps to the stage, I was puzzled for a moment, and went to the side of the obstacle that was the stairs, hoisted my self up onto the stage and took the empty seat. The crowd laughed and applauded. I was amazed at how I was in this active, lucid, alternative state of consciousness, and how impressionable I was. I knew there was something to it… So after the end of my dad’s life I really began exploring health, and healing in the body, I was seeing how impactful our thoughts are about our choices and health, and began looking into that active and effective state that happens in hypnosis and how we can change our lives through altering states of consciousness. From there I’ve gone on to explore emotional processing as well, always with this incredible spiritual nature as a foundation for embodiment in these lifetimes where we experience all that we do.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Asking for my parent’s support or advice on major life decisions…. When I remember doing this, I see my younger self, even in my 20’s, being worn down and disheartened by their fear and skepticism and pleading with me what to me, has been, abandon my self, curiosity and dreams and continue down a known and safe route that would be more comfortable for them. They want to me to be successful and for them to be successful parents in the ways that they know. I’m getting to a place where I can laugh about it now but it hasn’t been funny for longer than it has! Years of taking on the advice of my parents and others for approval or safety and not being my full out self has been painful, and created opportunity for reparation. Greater awareness and responsibility for my self and the process of believing in my true self and living from that place as much as I possibly can. Through this I have devoted myself to learning the art of direct perception. Through this practice, more and more, I drop into my self and the essence of what I deeply yearn for, which has been steady and consistent for over a decade, I know what feels right, what feels best, what lights me up or turns me off, and can better act accordingly to the deeper truth of what’s here for me. It’s also allowing me to grow and change and become more of who I can be, more fully here.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
Right now I’m most interested in the processes I am working with for deepening conscious, creative permeability and the transformation possible on our planet through accessing essential aspects of nature through alternating states of consciousness and movement, and letting that teach us how to live in harmony. 🙂 Conscious creative permeability is about getting down, as deeply as we can to what is as real as we can experience real, and as true as we can experience true, and that being where we come from. And, with that as the cause, the effect being in kind, all through our beings. How powerful is that? What would that look like? How would we move? How would we be with one another and this incredible planet? These approaches and practices cut out so much of the clamoring for recognition we’re all longing for, that we can only experience through ourselves. This work is that access and experience, it’s deeply intimate, revealing and empowering, from inside with life beyond scale. The practice is opening and evolving our minds, and sense of self and relationship. It creates new connections in the brain that affirm and confirm equanimity and this is evolutionarily transformational. It’s exploring subtle self realization as the energetic creators that we are. This process helps people gain access to get in touch with, explore, and see through their being, their capacity to be with so much more than they thought they could, without judgment, and without fear, to know themselves as an integral part of this grand existence and natural life. Through this, we naturally embody these knowings and live with greater peace, harmony and wisdom.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain a few reasons why it is so important to believe in yourself? Can you share a story or give some examples?
In order to achieve any kind of next level experience, the foundation is belief in yourself but it’s not exactly what you think! Here are a few keys I’ve found paramount to affirmative action even through the unknown. I’ve been dedicated to self exploration for more than a decade, traveling the world and experiencing many modalities! and learning how to believe in yourself is the nature of the work I do with women to help them know themselves beyond belief. This is so important, in that, this process actually takes us out of identification with ourselves as we’ve known them to be…. Bare with me, this is so clutch to living a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Opening to this way of perceiving is key! It’s only when we are willing to be in a way that is beyond what we think we know, or have been, or “are” that we can have a new experience, and still, that won’t be ‘us’ either! 🙂 This is important, because we are always in a process of becoming, and it’s this realization and this awareness that lets life open up in ways for us that are beyond our wildest dreams. How can we possibly be any other way, unless we open to becoming and being another way? An example of this could be always wanting to write mystery novels but you keep putting it off, or don’t, and saying wait a minute, if I was a mystery novelist right now, what would I do? And do it. Don’t think about it, as much as you let it happen through you. What would a mystery novel say, what would be written, what would the story be? It’s really us getting out of the way. We think it’s about us, but because we think we’ve defined that what we are or have been, it’s too limited for us to go any other way. Drop it! One time I was at a fashion show in San Juan, Puerto Rico and there were all of these high profile people there. I met the president of Isreal! It was a bit stuffy. Anyway, There was a band that played at the end of the show and it was really great music. And no one was dancing! It was everything for me to not be moving to that music, so I went in front of the stage, eyes on the artists and let the dancing that wanted to happen, happen through me, by my self! I was having such a good time, soon others joined in and enjoyed themselves too!
What exactly does it mean to believe in yourself? Can I believe that I can be a great artist even though I’m not very talented? Can I believe I can be a gold medal Olympic even if I’m not athletic? Can you please explain what you mean?
Know your limitations. if you can see them, you’re in a position to work with yourself, and make a real assessment of the alignment of your goals. if you can be deeply honest with yourself, know the why of your desire, where it’s coming from, what it means, then you will, you must, take steps, no matter how small, in accordance with your vision and there will be on a deeper level, a knowing of that possibility through you and it will manifest. That being said, we form identities through belief. We perceive belief as what we are and how the world works, and for the majority, we are misperceiving ourselves and what’s possible to very limited and prior experience or conditioning that we don’t even know about. To believe in yourself means, basically, that you’re willing to give pretty much all of that up, and in this moment, you’re IT! You’re already the thing, you’re all of this and more, and you’re taken care of, it’s already been done, and you’ve got it. You’re willing to see and practice remembering that, no matter, what these conditions say, you’re ‘good.’ The self we identify with isn’t and hasn’t been where we think we want to be ever before, and the greatest potential and power is really only happening right now. Every now. It’s the greater self we tap into that is beyond ourselves as we’ve known it, when we’re truly believing in our Self. It’s something greater than our (small, known) self, but we still know this (greater) Self is a great part of us too. So in this letting go, that is really, beyond belief in any sense about what or who we think we are or have been based on our past, in the present, we’re free and art happens. Records break. Even if they’re our own ‘personal bests,’ and no one else knows about it or sees it, opening this way itself is the victory.
Was there a time when you did not believe in yourself? How did this impact your choices?
Many times, especially when I’m unconsciously acting from a place from my childhood, which we all do predominantly until we realize it or we’re living in fear from the memory of our experiences, especially very difficult experiences. When I look at my choices from those times, they are most often from a place of conditioning or comfort, impulsive or to remove my self, or become small, emotional, and geared towards gratification or a perception of some kind of safety as quickly as possible. I’ve spent years processing and healing through those types of choices and the effects that they’ve had on my life because they’ve kept me from being all that I deeply know I am.
At what point did you realize that in order to get to the next level, it would be necessary to build up your belief in yourself? Can you share the story with us?
What I can say about this is, that, as I began to heal my relationship with my power, which has been an ongoing process and happens in stages and levels through conscious practice and experience, I started to notice how I feeling, and when I was withholding, or hiding, or appeasing, and not moving as I felt called to, or “not believing in my self.” It’s attuning to ourselves in more subtle ways and can be known as refinement. As I invited and called in more of our cosmic nature through my practice, my questions, and embodiment work, I would catch my self more quickly in the thinking or believing or identifying in these ways which were not in the truth of being, or the present. Those ways of being would feel heavy, and I would be in stories, the past, complain, feel resentment, like a victim, or disempowered and I would see I was feeling small, disempowered, and would notice the suffering and say wait a minute. And I could go into it and know that this isn’t ultimately true, It’s based on an experience that my mind thinks is right now, but isn’t, is passed, and if I wasn’t readily aware of that, I could ask to see where it’s coming from, see the memory or experience or cultural believe or conditioning. Through being willing to let that go, and to see differently, as openly and as truly as possible, I can let that become my experience and a new frame of reference, aligned with my true essence. I’ve become so acutely sensitive to the suffering and misbelief, I’ve trained my self to go right in, and change that way of thinking, feeling and being as I can through awareness and practice.
What are your top 5 strategies that will help someone learn to believe in themselves? Please share a story or example for each.
1. Remember, the prerequisite for any true learning is curiosity! Be as lovingly curious and compassionate as possible with yourself. How would your guilt-less, wise self be with you and hold you, how might they support you in your learning and getting in touch with your self. What might they for you in a real way that’s already true right now?
2. Explore where you’re coming from and go as deeply as you can. Is this desire to overcome coming from a deep essential vision of true fulfillment for you? If so it is already done because it’s alive in you as such. Act from that place. Explore and open to the possibilities that this or something better can come or happen through you. Feel what that would be like. What is the essence of your desires? Hold this as sacred and of the utmost importance.
3 . Audit your intake. This includes food, media, and language-physical and speech. These affect the communication with our gut and our brain, our mind and our bodies, sense of safety and our perception to discern more clearly what’s good for us, real or true. Less processed foods, and more foods from plants are more agreeable for our systems naturally. To create new ways of being with belief in ourselves, we must act accordingly. This is like a process of detoxing, removing those stimulants, beliefs, habits and patterns and ways of being that maintain old identities, all the while being open to what ways of being help you to live as one who can act in accordance with the learning and being you wish you achieve. What would someone who wants to do be what you want to be, eat, do, or listen to, to feel and be their best?
4 . Be willing to accept more of your range, the good, the bad and the ugly and take as much loving care of your self through every step of the way as possible. Stuff is going to come up! Automatically. It’s going to challenge your status quo. That’s okay!!Totally normal. You’re going to remember things and feel things that are uncomfortable and hurt, but you can. If we couldn’t we wouldn’t! Let it be! Two inhales through the nose, one long exhale through the mouth, repeat for a few rounds. Move your body in ways that are safe. Get support to help you see through your unconscious rising.
5 . ASK QUESTIONS! And take action. When we ask good questions, even inside, we get good answers, inside, and out. What is it you’re wanting to do, or be? Ask, “what would this look like living through me?” and be open to answers coming in ways that you see, know and understand. “What might the next step look like?” “What would someone who loves themselves do for their cause?” If it’s not about doing, “ How would they be?” “How can I better understand and accept my self?” “How can I help my self to remember who I really am, in this moment?” Trust and go with it!
Conversely, how can one stop the negative stream of self-criticism that often accompanies us as we try to grow?
I can share with you a process that will allow you to get to the bottom of a number of these pesky beliefs, so much that soon it becomes more fun and helpful than something we continue to try to dismiss or struggle with, along with a few additional tips. The practice is first becoming aware of the negative self-criticism when and as it’s arising, and that awareness in itself is powerful. In the moment we realize we’re misidentifying, getting curious! We can ask, “where did this belief come from?” Or, “when was the first time I thought this way about my self? Trust what you hear or see inside as your intelligence. This also helps reorient our identification with ourselves as more than what we think we are or have been and gets us into true self belief. Being willing to be with ourselves where we’re taken to or see, through the asking, and have compassion for ourselves there, we get to be supportive presence who can love ourself through that tough time where chances are, before now, there wasn’t any of that happening! It’s an ongoing practice of asking in the moment as the thoughts arise, or, another tip that’s helpful for growth is, with the awareness I spoke about above, being willing to stop the thought, sometimes even before it starts, and remember that we are loved, ask that our perception be healed. Get into that curiosity, or say, actually, Ask, “what would I need to say about my self to help me remember who I am in truth?”
Are there any misconceptions about self-confidence and believing in oneself that you would like to dispel?
Yes! The self-confidence and the belief in oneself isn’t in the identification with this temporal life or even the situation at hand, the thing we think we want or need as if we don’t already have it! That’s all outside of us and seems to be separate from what we are, but it’s really just how we’ve been identifying. Self Confidence is remembering and identifying as much as we possibly can, as often as we can; in the space in between, the only constant, which is now, which is even greater than what we can see with our eyes or make in our mind, and it’s being beyond the circumstances. And yes, this is possible 🙂
What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome?
Practice being aware of your feelings connected to your thinking, and in those moments explore what building your self worth is like from the inside, not dependent on the externals. Explore your intrinsic value. Open to experiencing yourself as greater than you’ve ever known yourself to be and don’t be attached to what that looks like. Go into your fears of failure and success. Where have you been drawing the line for yourself, and get curious about what that’s all about! Debunk! Practice being as present and open as possible to what is available through you beyond what you’ve seen or known in the best way. Tap into that intention, your vision and be with that, act from that place. How would your best self be? Let that happen. See what happens! We are always learning through practice. Have as much fun with it as you can.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
Mmm…Facilitating the learning of how to safely explore our feelings and be with as much of ourselves as we can as men and women.This is the artful work of a lifetime, involves the reflection of our life, and is so deeply valuable and important for the health of our species. Through this practice we can raise children to be self-aware and interdependent and equip them with skills that we can live and practice, to be loving, mature adults. Developing understanding, compassion and patience within ourselves by developing the capacity and competency to navigate our inner terrain will transform our world and planet, from the inside, out.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂
A friend of mine said to me today, “I feel like you would want to meet somebody like David de Rothschild.” I said, “Who is that?” She said, “He’s from that banking family, but he’s really passionate and innovative in working environmentally. He travels all over the world doing that work, I think you two would have a lot to talk about.” I’ll go with that for now.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Email me! Tell me your name and what you’re yearning for! What you feel like or think you’re up against. [email protected]. From there, I’ll get you into my newsletter where I share stories and practices, reviews, experiences and exciting offerings and opportunities to explore spiritual embodiment, emotional processing and healing beyond belief.
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.
Thank you very much!