It doesn’t really feel like Christmas this year. I’ve tried, I’ve put out decorations and started playing Christmas music, and have watched tree lightings and videos from my favorite artists. I’m stuck in a mode that I had hoped to avoid, that one of hearing the news on tv and worrying about numbers and such. I try to drown it out or not really listen at all, but we are human, and sometimes curiosity gets the best of us.

I’ve spent the last few days in 5 inches of snow, watching icicles form and melt slowly and the view return to normal. Snow can be a bit of a reprieve as it makes the dull come to life, as I sat and drank coffee this morning, I noticed the tiny footprints of animals that came out to forage for seeds and berries in the yard. Life does go on, regardless if we choose to participate or not. I wonder about the footprints that we will eventually leave behind. Who will notice?

This year is slowly drawing to a close and many are rushing to plan ahead for 2021, but while we are doing that, can we take a little time to reflect on what this year has taught us? How did you grow? We’ve learned to pivot, we have learned resilience and determination to live anyway, haven’t we? We shouted “Plot twist” and became more innovative with how we do what we do. Maybe we embraced friendships a little more, maybe we opened up a part of ourselves that we all too often keep closed off, maybe we reinvented something, perhaps that reinvention was us.

We’ve spent a great deal of time alone, but perhaps we found that in that solitude we were able to tap into a more peaceful version of who we really are, we discovered new joys or hobbies, we read a little more, we searched for information, I personally discovered new authors that I have not read before, and found a brief respite from my daily life in their words. I’ve played more, meaning that I took breaks to do something fun, be it play with my cat, give a few more tummy rubs, or throw a few snowballs at nothing in particular and catch snowflakes on my tongue like a kid. We don’t have to adult all the time. I savored time in meditation without those interruptions of having to be on the go all the time. I chopped lettuce and carrots and left them out for the birds and rabbits to eat, finding my inner country girl. I rose earlier and watched the sunset with my cat perched on my lap. I developed healthier habits and nurtured myself.

Can we sit and look back on the year and find something to be thankful for?

For me, this year was one of finding purpose and deepening my writing skills so that I can use my author’s voice to help others. I tried to make myself more relatable, more available to people out there. By giving of myself, I learned from other people’s stories. God or whatever deity you may believe in, is working out there, there are still small miracles every single day, have you noticed them? What have you discovered in yourself?

Yes, you’ve spent time alone, I hope that you have found that you weren’t really alone at all.