The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light.–Sara Ajna
Living in England for the past five years, sunshine has not been prevalent in my life. This is actually the lightest skin color I have ever been in the past 17 years. I had been lived a majority of my adult life in flip flop territories such as Hawaii, Los Angeles, and Santa Barbara county. Each British summer I am reminded how much I miss the sun. And so when the sun creeps out, I choose to have an affair with her.
This week, the weather here has been amazing. Each day, I somehow force my way to spend hidden moments (even at work)with her. A yoga class on the lawn, lunches outside, morning jogs on the track versus elliptical. I am finding reasons to squeeze in extra kisses from the sun, by taking non-mandatory car trips. Usually I will try to minimise any excess driving, but not when she is around.
Things are different with extended day light, warm weather, and a moonroof to allow the fresh breeze in. Somehow my 120mile round trip commute is no longer horrible. I can actually catch the sunrise over the English countryside. There are moments I wish I could take out my camera while going 80mph because the scenery is heartachingly beautiful. When I drove home after a 12 hour work day, I turned my neck to check if it was okay to switch lanes. I caught the sunset. My eyes wanted to linger there. What a gift!
Unlike an actual affair where one would try to avoid signs of being together, I want proof. A bite mark. Give me tan lines please. Leave with me the scent of you, a reminder to carry me through the rest of the weeks. You do exist. You do love me.
Everyone else’s demeanor has also shifted. We are wearing lighter clothes, and somehow our spirits have gotten lighter as well. Some of my clients that were depressed are noting a change in mood, due to more hours with my sun.
I don’t want this to end. She keeps teasing me. The weather predictions continues to rise fear in me that this must end. “Rain tomorrow. “My coworker warned me this earlier in the week. But the forecast keeps pushing the sun’s departure date further to the right. Each day I view as a gift.
I feel guilty sometimes when with her, I am a different person. I want to nap around her, because I feel comforted and safe. Productivity diminishes. What’s most important when she is in my atmosphere is her presence. She is my number one priority. I long to observe everything she touches by her existence: the vibrance of flowers, the return of the birds’ songs, and smiles on people’s faces.
I know when I lived in California and Hawaii, I took my sun for granted. She was loyal and faithful, everyday she shone. I barely told her how much I love her. But now she visits so sporadically, I try to express my love to her as much as possible. I stretch out our visitations. I find any moment with her pleasurable: either playing with the dogs, setting out laundry to hang, journaling, drawing, or just laying there with her shining on me.
As I walk in London today, I hear a fellow Londoner at the crosswalk say into his cellphone “It’s crazy what the sun does.” I concur.
My dogs also miss her. Generally when I get home, they are begging for food. Not yesterday, they wanted to go to our lawn. It wasn’t to go to the bathroom, it was simply to be in the sun’s presence again.
I don’t know how long you will be here this time. But each time you visit, I promise to appreciate you, relish in your kisses, and spend every available moment in your presence. Please stay.
Now I understand why in yoga we do sun salutations, to honor you.
“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us. “-Samuel Smiles
For your tanning pleasure…
A Sun Playlist
Here comes the sun: The Beatles (or Nina Simone version)
Let the sunshine in: Aquarius
May the longtime sun: Snatam Kaur
Blister in the sun:Violent Femmes
An island in the sun: Weezer
I wanna soak up the sun: Sheryl Crow
Another day of sun: La La Land Soundtrack
Walking on sunshine: Katrina & The Waves
Walking on the sun: Smashmouth
I’ll follow the sun: The Beatles
till we meet again…
Originally published at itonlytakesasmile.com