Cheers! Bottoms up, Bitches!

If you’ve ever gone to brunch with a bunch of your besties, these words are common vocabulary. And in the moment that mimosa taste delicious. In the moment that might be the best mimosa you’ve ever had in your life. But what happens the next day when you realize that it was maybe one mimosa too many? Or maybe it wasn’t quite the right time to have that mimosa?

You’re stuck with it. All you have left is the regret of too many mimosas and a hangover that constantly reminds you of both your own heartbeat, and your bad decisions.

I’ve seen that same regret among my friends in a form far removed from breakfast pastries and sneaky cocktails. I’ve seen it when they declare to the universe they’re going to start saying “no” more often. At first, it’s like the arrival to brunch. You’ve done it! You’re here. It’s time to celebrate! But slowly the excitement wears off and it’s just the same routine until all your left with is a hangover.

I’ve watched time and time again as friends, colleagues, and mentees read an article about how to take back their lives by saying “no”. They have that same excitement, they fall into the routine, and then, ultimately, they’re left with the regret.

Saying “no” is a powerful and wonderful tool for every woman, but it is not a tool that is meant to stand on its own. Much like your French toast is there to soak up that mimosa, “no” must be accompanied with a set of defined boundaries. Sure, you can go into the world screaming “no” at every ask of you, but much like partaking of the alcohol without the carbs, I think you’re likely to regret it.

The French toast you need in this situation is the concept of setting boundaries aligned with your defined goals. Sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself. What do you want out of life? Once you can answer that question with clarity, start the process of drawing your boundaries. Your new mission in life is to say “yes” to the things that get you closer to your goals and “no” to the things that detract from them. Does taking on that extra client get you closer to your goal of a promotion? Does declining drinks with friends get you closer towards your goal of more quality family time? Does missing the sales meeting for a weekend away with your beau help you build a case for that raise? Every decision either helps or hurts your progress towards your goals. You just need a tool to remove the doubt and confusion. And, this doesn’t mean turning down every fun thing that comes into your life. It solely gives you clarity about the things that could be detracting you from your goals. It gives you the data to make informed decisions.

Now go forth and partake of those mimosas, just don’t forget your French toast!