I was taking out some fruit so I could add something healthy to my kids current diet of yogurt and cake and I noticed that some of the blueberries were bad. This was really disappointing since they are a lot harder to come by these days but there it was — this furry little section in the middle of these tiny blue fruits. It made me think about the first time I heard that if there is one bad apple in the bunch it will ruin the others. It really hit home for me today as the first lesson in managing your energy.

“When apples begin to decay, they emit gases. If the rotting apple is mixed in with a group of other apples, the good apples can absorb these gases and begin to rot, too.” (wonderopolis.org)

If you are surrounding yourself with doomsayers and negative people, you will start to see things from their perspective (otherwise why would you stay around them?) or you will slowly find yourself getting drained and depressed because your inner being is so disconnected from that type of energy that you slowly cut off the source and you literally start to feel physically depleted.

The need to belong very often keeps us connected to people who we do not agree with and in some cases do not even like. But as with the rotting fruit which emits toxic gases, so too are the people who add judgment and fear into your life. Their heavy energy will bring you down and you will have a hard time disconnecting with the part of you that may have those same fears. This is why it is so difficult to not get affected by those individuals as they reflect back to you your fears and concerns and validate them. So once you allow the fears in the other person to resonate with the fears in you, the connection is made and the rotting within you begins too.

Being mindful of your energy is one of the best ways to cope with anxiety, stress, or change that might be occurring in your life — not that there is anything going on right now that might make you uneasy *cough cough*. The thing about managing your energy is that it is all about your vibration. The easiest way to describe how vibration works is that the higher the vibration the lighter the feel so think love, joy, compassion. The lower the vibration, the heavier the feel as expressed in sadness, anxiety, and anger. Now I want to state that I say this with no judgment, ALL of these vibrations can be experienced (sometimes all in one day) and all of the feelings expressed are valid. This is simply an explanation of the emotional scale that can have a significant effect on your outlook and in the quality of life you are living. 

The best part is that you have control over your vibration with your focus. Have you ever heard, “energy goes where attention flows?” This is the principle that whatever you are paying attention to becomes magnetized to you. So when you feel bad, more bad things seem to happen and when you feel good, everything starts looking up. With practice, you can learn to shift your perspective to feel relief from any emotion that is no longer serving you.

Now imagine you go into a room of people whom you don’t know and you see one section of people dancing and having fun and there is another section of people screaming and fighting with each other. Where you gravitate toward will depend on which group resonates with you. You may not want to scream and fight necessarily, but you might be drawn to the drama to find out what’s going on. You may also go straight to the party people because you weren’t interested in getting involved in the other group or because you want to have fun. Now, what would you do if neither group was one you wanted to be a part of? Well, the other option is to leave the party. Or as my son suggested, start your own group (he’s a smart kid). 

Your energy is literally the fuel with which you function. If it is empty, depleted, or uncalibrated to your deepest desires, it is like driving with the gas light on. You might still go for a while but unless you fill up, you’re going to break down at some point. In order to move in the direction of your dreams, you need to make sure your tank is FULL, that all your fluids are topped up and you’re ready to hit the open road, and in human terms that means managing what is influencing you energetically.

Where is your focus? What are the messages you are hearing regularly from the people you surround yourself with? Are you hearing “you can do this!” “you’re amazing,” “I feel blessed to have you as a friend,” “I support you no matter what”? Or are you being told to “get a real job” “stop wasting time” “I don’t get it and I think you’re making a mistake”? When you expose yourself to people who belittle you or dismiss you in any way, you are allowing your inner critic to be heard and one word at a time, over time, you will be fully convinced that you are just not meant to be happy or succeed.

Now you might be asking yourself, “what do I do if these people are my family? It’s important for me to have a relationship with my (sister, cousin, father or insert family member that applies here).” Well, in that case, you need to do whatever you can to protect yourself from their opinions. That may include doing energetic protection where you imagine a bubble of pure white, pink, or golden light around you before you see them. It could be that you have a conversation with them setting up the boundaries around what you are willing to discuss with them. Or you can limit your exposure to them, if possible, and see them only when you are emotionally equipped to do so. This is not something that will be fixed overnight and it may cause a lot of turmoil in the beginning but in the end, the people in your circle will appreciate knowing where they stand with you and may even be inspired to start setting boundaries in their own life that help them evolve.

I am not advocating for living in a bubble with only people who agree with you, that would make life pretty boring. But be mindful of who is getting your energy and attention for they are reflecting your vibration. Your focus on their words will activate the same vibration in you. So, if what they say shifts your attention to something that is painful, and you don’t remove yourself from that momentum, you risk a downward spiral into despair. If what they say lifts you up, then you know that feeling will help you connect with your inner guidance.

So, limit your exposure to people who are not resonating with your highest and greatest good. You can still have relationships with your loved ones who are most likely saying things out of love and concern but be aware that their opinions are based on their personal experience and that has nothing to do with you. When you disconnect from the opinions of others, you will find yourself being in groups of people who you previously couldn’t stand, completely unfazed by their thoughts and feelings because you found clarity and confidence in your own frequency. And the best part of stepping into your power and being truly in resonance with that highest vibration is that other people can’t help but be affected by YOU, and you will be responsible for adding light to the world around you.

Oh, and as for that fruit analogy, you can’t remove the rot from the blueberries once they’ve gone bad, but the beautiful thing about humans is that it is never too late to calibrate your energy to a higher vibration. And when you do, you will become renewed, refreshed, and automatically aligned to your purpose.