lucy Bennett Coaching

Your Personal Butterfly Effect

It is easier to suppress and repress our emotions, that’s what we know. That is what we have been taught to do.

From a young age we are told: Be strong, Don’t cry, if you carry on crying I’ll really give you something to cry about!! You are made to feel fear for sharing emotions.

There is little sympathy in this world for us when we cry. People may see us as unstable, depressed.

I’ve been in relationships where I’ve been mocked for crying showing my emotions.

But the reality is, showing and sharing emotions is a human condition.

We’ve just been conditioned by society to not do it. We’re made to believe that being numb to life is the best path.

And what do you think that repression does to your body? How do you think it affects you?

Well it comes out, as chronic illness, auto immune diseases, cancer, Heart disease, depression and anxiety and many more life altering conditions.

I myself have an autoimmune disease created by the suppression of grief emotions after my mum passed away.

So what is the solution.

The solution is to accept that we have emotions suppressed inside that need to come out, that need to be released in order to be able to move on with happy healthy lives.

Repression of emotions creates a toxic existence in so many ways.

Perhaps you find it impossible to say anything positive.

Maybe every time you open your mouth is to tell people about how bad things are.

You think and thoughts, you tell yourself, your poor, your useless, life is bad, all I have is bad luck, no one loves or cares about me.

I hear you.

I’ve been there.

My 20’s were a ‘train wreck’ where I made one bad decision after another and it just snowballed in to an unbearable issue where happinness seemed unattainable and getting out of the situation seemed impossible.

But one way or another. Baby step by baby step, I managed to get there.

Just think on this for one second.

Every time you share a negative thought or feeling with someone else, that negativity impacts them.

As an empath, I feel it deeply. It changes my mood, how I feel. I can sense if someone feels negative and it turn me upside down!

I’m not saying that taking the path of light is easier, it’s not. Continuing on the dark path actually feels the easiest option but it will never bring you the happinness you crave so much.

Inspired by a fabulous scenario portrayed in Sahara Rose’s Book- Discover Your Dharma- here are two Stories to illustrate how negative and positive energy can impact the world (yes, I mean not just your world)

Story 1

You wake early, find time to breath, meditate, maybe do yoga, drink tea and have calm positive time for you and then you go about your day. You have a meeting with a colleague and they’ve forgotten to complete a task that you needed by today. Instead of getting angry you take it in your stride and let them know that it’s okay and ask if they can have to you by the end of the day. Because you know, we are all just human! Right! So your colleague feels grateful for the grace you’ve allowed, they leave the meeting in a high vibrational state and feel good so they go back to their desk they decide to arrange a group lunch with the rest of the team. The new girl has just started and is over the moon to be invited, she feels happy and included, she feels valued. The whole office enjoys a fun warm day, where everyone is happy. When she gets home she feel great and shares her fabulous first day story with her husband. He is so relieved that she is happy in her new role so can relax and decides to call his mum to share the good news too. He calls his mum and shares this happy story, she feels his compassion and love and that makes her feel good too. She feels relieved and happy to be included in their story, the news brightens her day and hearing his voice and how happy he is, she feels amazing too. A buzz of positivity running through her, she feels grateful. Positivity is a valuable life force to heal and help the body so long term we know that with experiences like this, she’ll live a longer healthier life. The seed of this story starts with you.

Story 2

Lets look at an alternative reality- You wake late, frantic, no time for meditation, yoga or your tea. You try and grab a coffee on the way into work but theres a queue a mile long, reluctantly and angrily you wait in line. When you order your coffee you don’t even acknowledge or smile to the attendant, he feels insignificant and your behaviour makes him nervous so he messes up your order and you consequently make a scene and tell him he’s useless! Everyone around feels and absorbs the negative energy you’re projecting and they take it with them into their day and begin to spread it around, affecting more people as the day goes on, from person to person your negativity is poisoning humanity. And with each stressful moment you feel worse, you feel awful! You have your meeting with a colleague and instead of being compassionate you tell them they’ve let you down! That it’s unacceptable. After the meeting he feels awful, so just clams up and doesn’t even speak to anyone for the rest of the day. He’s now projecting a negative energy. The new girl gets ignored by everyone as they are all on tender hooks, knowing that you are mad with them! At the end of the day she goes home distraught that no-one in her new job even acknowledged her existence and that the atmosphere was so tense you could cut it with a knife! She tells her boyfriend how unhappy she is and they have a row! The mum phones to see how the day went and he then shares the negative vibe with her, telling her he gives up, he can’t make this woman happy. Making his mum feel anxious and worried for their relationship, she feels down, and long term this affects her health and well-being too.

These are two extreme examples, but imagine it’s as simple as, someone drops you a message to say Hey how are you? And your response is OMG I’m so stressed, nothing is ever going right for me. I’ve got this problem and that! How, does the person feel? You make that person feel worried and stressed too. Your negativity is attaching to their energy! You are affecting them.

Now I’m not saying suppress or repress your negative emotions. I’m saying be aware of your negative emotions, be responsible for them and start to manage them. Start to check in with yourself.  What are you getting upset about? Does it justify a negative message to a friend?

Take 45 seconds to just let the emotions roll through you and then consider, does this situation justify stress?

Most often, when we feel stressed the smallest things can make us angry and if we have un dealt with issues, we can even explode!

Imagine that you order something online and the wrong item is delivered and guess what- You feel like it’s the end of the world!!! You tell everyone what a bad day you’re having. That you’ve had a ‘NIGHTMARE’ with an online delivery. It’s all so bad….Or is it? Is it really the end of the world? Is it really that bad? Does it really deserve such a reaction?

Well when you read it now – you realise obviously it’s not. But because of your repressed emotions, because you have so much tension and stress locked up inside that you need to get out, in that moment you feel as though it is! You don’t know how to manage your emotions! You are so emotionally unaware!

One tool I use with my Clients to help them manage their emotions and become more emotionally aware is RELEASE WRITING- This is a simple daily practice- just 10 mins each day- where you write freely- fast- without consciously thinking- you brain dump all of the negative emotions on a piece of paper- when you feel ready to finsih you can then burn the paper and watch the negative emotions smoke away! (Please always burn safely) You just write, non-judgementally to release the stress that you have that day! Take a few deeps breaths afterwards and feel the release of the tension.

Remember – That it’s not what happens to you- it’s how you choose to react to it. You are responsible for your reaction, you are responsible for how you choose to feel about it. And you can change how you think and feel! It is possible.

Negativity is super magnetic, if you allow the negative emotions to flow more negative emotions will come to you! If you decide to not let things affect you, let them wash over you (instead of penetrating you) you’ll start to feel the light airy feeling of positivity! And the more positivity you feel, the more positive things will happen in your life.

We are energy and our energy affects everyone else on this planet, it has a knock on effect. We need to decide that we want to be high vibrational being, instead of low vibrational beings and that positivity will have a knock on effect on the world around us. Let’s spread love and joy instead of fear and pain.