Have you made your New Year’s resolutions yet? If you’re still drafting them, the key, to avoid being among the 92% of us who fail to keep our resolutions, is to start small. Another method, which might not have a higher success rate, but is less work, brings less guilt and is more fun, is to make resolutions for other people. So here are my resolutions for some of 2019’s top newsmakers.
Donald Trump: “When I get the urge to tweet, when I should be sleeping, I’ll think, ‘Covfefe,’ which is an ancient Greek word meaning, ‘put the phone down.’”
Instagram: “We will add our ‘take a breath’ alert before all captions and comments, not just bullying ones.”
All moderators of presidential debates in 2020: “Given the effects of burnout and sleep deprivation on decision-making, we will ask all candidates about how they plan to take care of themselves and recharge and refuel as president.”
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: “I will take a few days, or movies, off.”
Our phones: “I will only send my owner notifications if his or her attention is truly needed.” (You can help your phone keep this resolution with the Microsteps in this piece.)
Kumail Nanjiani: “I will allow myself to eat a few carbs.”
Elon Musk: “I’ll get enough sleep, not because it’s good for me (though it is), but because it’s good for Tesla.”
Joe Biden: “When I hear the words ‘Hunter,’ ‘Ukraine’ or ‘Burisma,’ I will do 10 seconds of deep breathing before responding.”
Billie Eilish: “I’ll remember to save a bit of my incredible success for my 18th year.”
Elizabeth Warren: “In addition to thinking about how to widen access to health insurance so people can get treated once they’re sick, I’ll widen the health care conversation to include changes we can make so fewer people get sick in the first place.”
Away: “We will remember that toxic company culture can make a company go away.”
Bernie Sanders: “I’ll use my own health scare to bring preventive care and well-being into the health care debate.”
Rudy Giuliani: “I’ll remember that one of the symptoms of sleep deprivation is magical thinking, put my passport in a drawer for a while and skip that next red-eye to Kiev.”
Apple: “We will cease all R&D on making the iPhone waterproof, so people can have a rare and welcome respite from screens in the shower.”
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