What do you do when life hands you lemons. Authors make lemonade by writing the challenges into their work. Theresa Chaze is no different. Written as a way to cope with and to understand the sexual assault, Not for Ourselves tells the tale of a woman, who is attacked and tormented by men she met for the first time at a Pagan Festival. Unable to comprehend why they chose her, she performs a magical ritual that was designed to help her understand why they would want to destroy a stranger’s life. All though it is fictionalized story, it reflects how the assault and the months of harassment afterward shattered her life and nearly turned Chaze into a shut-in

Before October 18, 2006, Chaze was confident gregarious woman, who faced life with moxie and courage. Her writing career had begun to take off with the launch of her novels and screenplays. She sought out adventures and blazed her own trails through life. All that ended on October 18, 2006. The person she was died that night and she became someone she didn’t recognize. Before, she forgave easily. At midnight her slate was wiped clean and everyone, including herself, had a fresh start for the new day. All that changed. The fear overshadowed her life. Leaving her home sent her into panic attacks that triggered severe asthma episodes. The fear became a rage that she turned both inward and onto others. There were many times in the next two years that she had the razor blade out and the note was written. Good friends keeping careful watch over her is the only reason she didn’t follow through. Instead of asking for justice, she sought vengeance on those who had harmed her. When Chaze lost her ability to function, she sought help and was diagnosed with PTSD, After years of therapy, Chaze has glued the shards of her former self together to create a life that once again based on love, light, and hope. Writing Not For Ourselves helped her complete the healing process

Alyssa attends a local Pagan festival to read Tarot Cards as a way of raising funds for a local animal rescue organization. When a group of drunken men invade the festival, attacking the attendee and destroying the booths, she and others stand up to them only to learn that they are off-duty deputy sheriffs. Unwilling to let their bad behavior slide, they file complaints only to learn that the leader of the pack is the Justin Nevel, the Sheriff’s nephew. Although she is one of many who complain, Nevel focuses his need for revenge on Alyssa. His harassment quickly escalates. When friends and co-workers stand up for her, his intimidation spreads to them. In an attempt to understand why she was singled out, Alyssa performs a magical ritual. But instead of receiving an answer, she is taken back to a Scottish parish and the life when she was known as Shannon Marie Cullen.

The granddaughter and heir of Jacqueline Marie Katherine de Medici, Shannon Marie lived both in and out of clan tradition. However, unlike their older sisters, she and her younger sister, Rachael, were spared the limitations and intrigues of court. Raised more like sons than daughters, they were wild and free. Both saw life as a challenge to be met and conquered. Yet there was one sadness that Shannon Marie was forced to accept or so she thought. Clan tradition stood between her and Michael being together, which led to him choosing the path of the Goddess. She loved him enough to honor his decision until the obstacles between them suddenly vanished. She selfishly agrees to the marriage. Instead of joy, their union brings about betrayal, bloodshed, and murder

As the memories of her past life awakened, Alyssa melds with her former self. Watching the events before her death unfold, she began to understand how the manipulation of others followed them through the ages until they are forced to again meet. In the past, one man loved her, yet her selfishness betrayed his trust. One man hated her for who she was and for what he could never have. Both have again entered her life. Have they learned enough to put finally put the past to rest or will they again make the same choices that led to murder and revenge?

Not for Ourselves is available on Amazon as a Kindle and in paperback as well as a PDF on the author’s website by clicking here