It has been a while since I don’t connect with “the light” (The source, energy, God, Universe or whatever you want to call it) but in a state of anxiety and unrest, I needed calm and guidance.
Life transitions are difficult, and when several of them occur at the same time (job losses, relationship issues, moving to a new home, illness or death), the weight on our shoulders is so big that we can’t seem to find a good moment to celebrate our worthiness.
I rely a lot on music to connect with my emotions, and I can go from classical to punk rock, depending on the mood. Last Sunday, once again, i decided not to join my family for mass. I have always felt that organized religion and ritual is not for me. Rather than providing a calm connection with “the light”, religion reminds me of all the bad things humans can do with it (I lived it as a kid in a catholic school and I have seen things that are not right). Although it was a private school, and we couldn’t afford it, my dad was a teacher there so it was tuition free for us. And with religion came all the “perks” of being a “good catholic”: lots of guilt, lots of blame, lots of obligation, lots of dogma that made me want to rebel. So, not going to mass, i decided to walk with my earbuds on and blasting punk rock to match my angry mood. Rather than taking a right on the road, I took a left and saw the Sun bright and beautiful. With a good dose of hope, I said to myself “maybe I’ll meet The Light today and the sun is a sign that I should be ready to receive her”. I don’t like to say” God”, because I immediately recall memories of an old man sitting on clouds and I’m not sure humans would ever understand The Light in non human form. However, I do talk to her and ask for signs. I’m very skeptical and although emotional for many things, I’m too scientific and rational for “this thing”. I don’t “believe” or “have faith”, but I do sense that my spiritual door needs to be opened.
That day, when I needed it the most, something amazing happened. A second light in the sky appeared right when I started to doubt that I had taken the right road. I took a picture:
Neither I knew what it was nor what it meant, but The Light sent me a sign (actually two, see the little green dot that looks like a camera reflection).
Right around the time I had a good chance to take that photograph, the actual road sign that I needed, it came up. All of a sudden I knew where to turn.
I took a lot of pictures, and even a couple of videos for no reason. I was asking, as a good skeptical, for another sign. Nothing was around and the light in the sky wasn’t there anymore. It was pretty silent, definitely not a good time to take a video. Whatever it was that prompted me to take a video of still imagery was not very rational, but I tool it anyway. In the video, 2.5 miles after I started walking and way beyond the second light in the sky disappeared, there was nothing interesting. When I got home, really inspired by my long walk, I decided to show my wife the pics of the light in the sky, and the two videos. I was telling her that around that time, I was asking for a second sign and nothing happened but I took a video. When we are both looking at my phone, we realized the videos had a flying green dot. WHAT?. My wife calls it an angel, and my kids a fairy. Check this video. The little green dot was in all my pictures but I didn’t see it until I was showing my long walk adventure with my wife back at home. Here’s another video of that green dot around me.
PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEOS BEFORE YOU GO ON. AMAZING ISN’T IT?
Whatever that green dot was doing that day, I found it later in multiple photos (not in all of them). See this pic. This is when I started to see the second light in the sky. The green dot is emerging from the back, but partially covered by something in front of it. This photo was taken literally 2 miles before the video. It could be a camera effect, but once I saw the videos, the behavior of that dot wasn’t really the same here and later. Besides, it doesn’t appear in every photo.
I honestly don’t know what this means, or how scientific and rational I want to be about it. After watching the videos again and again, I felt like The Light wanted to tell me that I wasn’t alone. I felt it, and I also felt like taking the risk and sharing with the world here. I say taking the risk because many like me, non believers, will have a hard time justifying the strange nature of that dot, other than “camera lens reflections”. Maybe, but whatever The Light that connects is, this walk uplifted me that day. I have learned that once you feel great -that is, your greatness inside has been inspired and enabled but outside inspiration and light-, sharing that light is the right thing to do.
I hope this post brings some light into your life too. When I feel a bit down, I play these videos and remind myself that I’m light and greatness, like you, but sometimes we need to be reminded, lifted up. Like now.
Dr Suarez.