This is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever written.

For some reason, talking about my weight is far more uncomfortable for me than talking about relationships or parenting.

It is time for me to be honest though, and honestly, I feel like a prisoner. One who has spent far too much time concocting plans to free myself from my imprisonment, without ever actually following through.

I am a single mom who recently went through the ugliest breakup of my life. I am the heaviest weight I have ever been. I am at rock bottom and I am ready to learn how to climb any mountain to overcome this.

I truly believe that subconsciously I chose to hide. There is a part of me that felt that if I burrowed myself far enough beneath the extra weight I began holding onto, I could protect myself.

Now, I am finally awake and I no longer want to hide.

The problem is that I have awoken to find myself buried beneath the skin of a person I no longer recognize.

The weight of the sentence I feel I have been given is debilitating. The only thing that gives me hope is the idea of using my life to comfort others who have found themselves in a similar place.

I an going to write a raw and honest ongoing piece about what will hopefully be a weight loss journey. When I refer to weight, I am not only referring to some numbers on a scale. I am referring to the many hidden traumas that have brought me to this place.

I want to be sure that I take people on this journey in a way that does not shame anyone who is overweight, but rather inspires those who, like me, know they are not living in their body the way they desire to.

As for the scale, I am not going to share how much I weigh. Why? Because I don’t want anyone who weighs more than me to be discouraged. “She weighs x amount? Well, I have a lot further to go. She’s lucky.”

If someone weighs less than me then I do not want them to think, “Oh, well I’m fine. I am not that bad.”

Changing our lifestyle should be about how we want to feel in our body. Not about a stupid number on a scale or a dress size. It should be about US.

If you are a size 24 and rocking it, more power to you. If you are a size 4 and rocking it, more power to you. A number is just a number, unless it is impacting the amount of time this world will get to keep you.

So, here I go. Although, I am really hoping I can look back and say, ‘Here we go.’

Join me, won’t you? Let’s give one another tips, inspiration, recipes, and support.

Ready, set, GO!

Originally published at