Do you exist through life as a shattered wreck of emotional pain? Are you living with deepening depression, hopelessness, mounting bitterness and anger?

If every human activity you experience feels hollow, take heart. There is a way out of your dead end rut. You already have the tools inside you. You just need to tap into your own inner healing superhero. I’ve been there and put together a manual to climb out of a damaged and sorrowful pothole.

I jokingly told my friends that I was emerging from Sue to Suetastic. I felt as though I had discovered my own inner healing superhero. You can do it, too, with this blueprint:

1.START YOUR OWN rEVOLUTION

Commit to change. Becoming “Suetastic” is becoming your finest self. If you are Jo, become Jotastic, if you’re Will, transform to Willtastic. Create an ideal image. Become your best YOUtastic self and delight in who YOU are. You have worth and value. Pledge to yourself that change is possible. This is the first step in your transformation.

2. MAKE EVERY YEAR THE YEAR OF YOU

Chinese astrology marks years with animals. Legend has it that Jade Emperor, the ruler of Heaven and the Earth, held a race to pick the animals for the Chinese zodiac to celebrate his birthday. Forget that. Choose yourself. Every day. Every year. Take time to revel and celebrate yourself.

3.GET POSITIVE

We have to visualize the glass half-full, because no matter what we are facing in life, there is someone who has it much worse. Gaining perspective is a powerful lesson. Cultivate your very own Nation of Optimism. Make the decision every day to be happy.

4.STAY POSITIVE

Getting into a positive mindset might not be as challenging as staying and maintaining that upbeat mode. Learn to Change the Channel when dark thoughts and insecurities begin to creep in and cast shadows of doubt on your sunshine.

5.SHIP SHAPE YOUR STANCE

Diet and exercise play a key role in our outlook on life. Gradually incorporate smart changes into your routine. Walk, make constructive choices, eradicate depressants, read. Check your posture. Stand tall. Carry yourself with the respect you deserve and don’t forget to breathe. These steps will help you cultivate confidence.

6.GET RID OF TOXICITY

This plague can present itself in many forms. It is not only composed of what we eat and our physical environment, but it is spawned by negative individuals—the naysayers—who keep popping up in life. Find like-minded people, the “good kids on the block” who share your ideals. Being with people shouldn’t be a constant debate or confrontation.

7.REMOVE THE CHAOS & CLUTTER

Chaos and disorder is depressing and makes us feel out of control. Organization is healing and positive.

If this task seems overwhelming, take it slowly. Set small goals. Watch the clutter disappear and appreciate the magic of advancing your life into a more confident and upbeat phase.

8.GRIEVE YOUR LOSSES

We experience many different types of loss, but do we take the time to properly grieve them? Don’t let anyone push you to create “Your New Normal.” Accelerating the grieving process will not work. Loss is major. Sometimes there is no time to grieve if we are caring for a family member, a child, etc. Everyone has a different clock for grief.

9. MAKE TIME TO DREAM & SET GOALS

Multi-tasking has made us a splintered mess. Single tasking is the way to keep focused on your target goals. What do you really want to do in life? Ask yourself two questions: What am I good at? and What do I enjoy doing? Where the two intersect could be your ideal pursuit.

10. LEARN TO SAY “NO”

Keep away from the energy drains in your life: the Boozers, the Users and the Losers. They are preventing you from living your full life. Discover ways to meet new people through events, classes, clubs, lectures, etc. Stop the people pleasing. Practice saying “No.” You don’t have to explain yourself.

EMBRACE YOUR SUPERHERO

We must empower ourselves because no one else can or will do it for us. You’ve accomplished a lot in your life. Every job, every relationship, every step, every defeat, was a learning process.

Evaluate who you are and who you want to be. What three words would someone would use to describe you? Do those words make you happy? Ask yourself “Who Am I?” How would you like to be remembered?

Visualize the person you want to be. You already are that person. Let that individual emerge and start living your brilliant, ideal and magnificent life.