I did it! It’s taken 17 years but in the middle of lock down I finally connected with my true inner self. And wow, it feels incredible.
My survival mechanism growing up was to become what I thought other people wanted me to be. I was so good at doing this I completely lost any sense of who I was, let alone who I wanted to be. So when my business mentor asked me “who do you wanted to be” I couldn’t get past “I want to be me”. I felt until I knew who I really was, I couldn’t go further.
I think the closest I ever came to being me up until this point was when I was travelling in my twenty’s. I was so lost when I left school I had no idea what to do so I ended up travelling and working my way around the world. I had such an amazing time, I kept it up for about 10 years. At the time I didn’t understand what I was drawn to but now I see the freedom to be myself was exhilarating.
You’d be forgiven to think that this was the end of my journey. I have completed my mission to connect with who I really am. But I feel I have finally got to my beginning at the age of 51. This is where my story starts, its never too late right? I can now think about who I want to become.
I go from feeling exhilarated to petrified. I can feel the energy coursing through me, there are so many amazing possibilities ahead of me. One of the most valuable things I’ve learnt over the past few months is having a growth mindset. I always thought when we became adults we were what we were and that was our lot. But now I discover there is always room to grow, develop, change and become. And this is just what I’ve been doing. And the changes are happening so fast, it’s amazing.
Now I see other women around me struggling so much to connect with their true selves as well, it makes me sad. I feel it’s my mission to help them and pass on some of my new found knowledge. I couldn’t have got to where I am now without the support of an amazing group of women who are also going through their own amazing transformations. So it is my intention to create a supportive space to enable other women to transform their lives too. I am going to be completely transparent with you, I don’t know how this is going to happen yet, I am feeling my way.