“If you want to stand firm as a rock, you have to get to know yourself—including all the emotions that pull you, push you, and play a role inside of you.”
— Sagar Constantin
Sagar Constantin is a renowned international speaker, bestselling author, and emotional empowerment advocate who has inspired thousands across the globe with her message of transformation, resilience, and inner strength. In her most recent book, Be Your Own Rock, she shares the hard-won wisdom and emotional tools that helped her transition from a life of emotional numbness and burnout to one of grounded clarity and authentic self-leadership. With an extensive background in television, Sagar’s early career success masked a deep disconnection from her inner world—until life, as it often does, forced her to confront the truth she had long avoided: she had no real connection to her emotions. That wake-up call changed everything.
In this powerful and vulnerable interview, Sagar sits down with Stacey Chillemi to share the raw details of her personal journey—from corporate burnout and manipulation by a toxic colleague, to the emotional awakening that reshaped her life’s purpose. She opens up about the internal battles, the support systems that helped her rise, and the tools she now teaches others to use in their own healing journeys. With insight, grace, and wisdom, Sagar reminds us that true empowerment doesn’t come from controlling life—it comes from reconnecting with ourselves and learning to trust the voice within.
Thank you so much for joining us, Sagar! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Absolutely. My journey began in the fast-paced world of television in Denmark. I was ambitious, driven, and fiercely independent—but deeply disconnected from my own emotions. Growing up, I was taught that emotions were a sign of weakness, so I learned to suppress them completely. In the media world, that stoicism worked—on the outside, I was successful. But inside, I was falling apart. The more I achieved, the more hollow I felt. Eventually, I hit a wall. My emotional suppression was no longer sustainable, and I knew something had to change. What followed was a profound unraveling—and ultimately, a transformation that led me to the work I do today.
What was it like to function without emotions? How did that impact your day-to-day life?
It was like being on autopilot. I was constantly in my head, always strategizing and calculating, but never feeling. I believed that staying in control and not feeling made me strong, but it was actually making me fragile. I lived in fear of losing control because I didn’t know who I was without it. I kept myself distracted by overworking, thinking that the busier I was, the safer I was from the emotional ocean I was avoiding. But the truth was, I was slowly losing my sense of self. I wasn’t truly living—I was surviving.
You mentioned a difficult experience with a colleague you later described as a psychopath. How did that relationship play into your transformation?
That relationship was a wake-up call. She entered my life at a time when I was still emotionally disconnected. At first, she built me up—lavished me with praise, made me feel special and seen. And then, as soon as I started gaining recognition, she turned. She became manipulative and sabotaged my work. Because I lacked emotional awareness, I didn’t trust my gut instincts. I believed her words over my inner knowing. It was a classic emotional entrapment, and I didn’t have the tools to navigate it. But through that pain and betrayal, I began to awaken. It was the beginning of seeing just how disconnected I really was—and that realization was the first step toward healing.
Did you ever sense something was off with her?
Yes, absolutely. My intuition was whispering, but I ignored it. I was so desperate for validation and connection that I clung to her approval. That longing overpowered my instincts. I didn’t yet have the self-worth to walk away or question her motives. That’s often how manipulation works—you’re made to feel so seen, then so small. It’s a cycle. I was stuck in that cycle until the damage became impossible to ignore.
What was the breaking point for you?
The moment I was removed from the very show I had created—that was my breaking point. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. I had invested so much of myself in that project, and suddenly, I was being told I couldn’t continue, all because she wanted the show and management was afraid of her. I remember walking into the office that day, devastated. But something remarkable happened in that vulnerability—people supported me. That moment of being authentically seen, not for my accomplishments, but for my humanity, shifted everything. I realized I had to stop running. I had to turn inward and do the emotional work I had been avoiding for so long.
That sounds like a pivotal turning point. What happened next?
I quit. The network tried to keep me, even offered me anything I wanted. But I knew that what I needed couldn’t be bought. I needed to find myself. That was the start of my true healing journey. It wasn’t glamorous or easy. It was painful and messy. But it was real. I started diving deep into emotional development. I sought help. I committed to discovering who I really was beneath all the ambition and control.
Do you remember the first thing you did after walking away from your career?
Yes. I went home and poured myself a drink—at two in the afternoon. I was lost, overwhelmed, and scared. That moment wasn’t about the drink—it was about the uncertainty and panic of not knowing what came next. But shortly after that, something beautiful happened. I met a man who was incredibly in tune with his emotions. He saw me in a way no one else had. He asked, “Do you want help?” And although I didn’t know if I could be helped, I said yes. That yes changed my life.
So he played a big role in your healing?
Definitely. He was the first person who really challenged me to feel. At first, I tried to fool him—I was so good at talking about feelings without actually feeling them. But he saw through it. He guided me through meditations, breathing exercises, and deep emotional conversations. Week after week, for six months, we sat together peeling back layers. That experience opened the door to a decade-long journey of healing. We eventually got married, had a son, and even though we later divorced, he remains a dear friend and a pivotal figure in my story.
How did you go from there to becoming an international speaker and author?
As I healed, I began to realize how many others were struggling just like I had. I felt a strong calling to share what I had learned. People started asking me to speak and teach. I said yes, even when I wasn’t fully confident. Over time, those opportunities grew. I wrote books, hosted workshops, and began traveling the world. I transformed my pain into purpose—and helping others reconnect with their emotions has become my life’s work.
You talk a lot about befriending your emotions. Can you elaborate on how that becomes a source of power?
When you’re afraid of your emotions, they control you. But when you face them and understand them, they become your allies. Take anger, for example. If you’re not connected to it, it will explode or consume you. But when you become friends with your anger, it transforms into personal power. You no longer need to yell or dominate to be heard—your presence speaks for itself. Emotions are not weaknesses; they are the source of our strength, our intuition, our authenticity.
Do you have a daily self-care routine to maintain this emotional awareness?
In the beginning, I had a very structured routine. I meditated daily, reflected, journaled, and observed myself closely. I was very persistent. Now, it’s become second nature. I live in a constant state of awareness. I don’t need to set aside time for meditation because my life has become a meditation. But for anyone starting out, I recommend creating a consistent practice. Self-awareness is a habit, and like any habit, it requires repetition and intention.
What are a few practical tools our readers can use to connect with themselves emotionally?
One of the most powerful tools is pausing before you respond. When something happens, instead of reacting instantly, take a breath and ask yourself: “Am I acting from fear or from trust?” That one question can shift everything. Another method I love is what I call “pause, reflect, and zoom out.” Something happens—you pause. You reflect on your emotions. Then you zoom out and ask, “Why am I reacting this way?” This helps you gain perspective, stay grounded, and make conscious choices instead of impulsive ones. These simple steps can lead to profound emotional growth.
That’s profound. You mentioned emotional numbness. Do you believe everyone can learn to feel again?
Yes. Everyone except true psychopaths can reconnect with their emotions. Emotional numbness is often a survival mechanism—it’s something we learned to do when we didn’t feel safe. I used to think I was incapable of empathy, but the truth was, I had shut it down. With the right support and environment, we can all relearn how to feel. We are wired to connect. We just need to create safe spaces—both internally and externally—to allow that connection to happen again.
Let’s talk about your book. What inspired you to write Be Your Own Rock?
I wrote it for the version of me 25 years ago—the one who was lost and searching. I wanted to create a roadmap for anyone beginning their healing journey. In the book, I share the tools, insights, and wisdom that helped me become emotionally resilient and self-empowered. I cover values, emotional intelligence, the brain’s survival mechanisms, changing habits, and learning to trust yourself. It’s practical, honest, and deeply personal. There’s also a free workbook so readers can actively engage with each chapter. This book is about becoming stable and powerful from the inside out.
What are some key takeaways from Be Your Own Rock?
You’ll learn how to identify your values and personality type, understand how your brain and emotions work together, and begin to change the habits that are holding you back. It’s not just a book to read—it’s a guide to work through. With real-life stories, exercises, and reflections, it supports people at every stage of their journey. Whether you’re just starting or already deep into personal growth, this book offers tools to help you stand strong—like a rock—no matter what life brings.
Do you offer any resources outside of the book for people who want to dive deeper?
Yes, absolutely. I’m active on Facebook and Instagram under @sagarconstantin.author, and on LinkedIn for more professional connections. I also offer a free app called Essence Personality Type, available on both App Store and Google Play. It’s a fantastic tool to discover your inner strategy and see where you’re in or out of balance. And if you want more inspiration, you can sign up for my newsletter on my website.
What’s one final piece of advice you’d like to leave our readers with?
It’s never too late to come home to yourself. No matter how disconnected or broken you may feel, there is always hope. Ask for help. Seek support. Be curious. Choose trust over fear whenever you can. And remember—you are not alone. There are people out there who want to see you thrive. The first step is the hardest, but it opens the door to everything you’ve ever longed for.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at @sagarconstantin.author, and connect with me on LinkedIn. You can also visit my website at www.sagarconstantin.com to sign up for my newsletter and access insights, tools, and resources. And don’t forget to check out my free app, Essence Personality Type, for a deeper look into your inner world—it’s available on both the App Store and Google Play.
Thank you so much for sharing your incredible journey with us. Your story and insights are going to touch so many people.
Thank you, truly. It’s been an honor to share this space with you and your audience. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to speak openly about my journey, and I hope it inspires others to begin their own.
To begin your own journey of self-empowerment, you can purchase Sagar’s book Be Your Own Rock here.
