Clearly, we all remember that feel! Its one day before our birthday. A day, where reflect or do something for one last time, before our number increases by 1. Yet, for this year, I wanted it to be something special. Something different in how I would be spending my final day, as a 34 year old woman! Especially, during this time of quarantine. Where we are all inside, waiting through time’s uncertainty.

This last day of 34 is precious. It was a time of reflection, journal writing, recording my thoughts on 34’s existence, and celebrating the creative side of my life. This year was a year, where I truly immersed, and observed, the lessons of colors, in their movement. Lessons taught, and how colors move us into our interaction with others. Colors let us know there is a spiritual essence to the world of fashion. A spiritual language. Though we want to look good, its not solely for the hype of wanting to impress or attract others. That’s not a bad thing, of course. Nevertheless, there is a deeper element, at hand.

I spent the day engaging in different activities. Whether it included going for more walks, writing, or simply reflecting on what I desired for the future. Yet, it could not conclude with that. I needed to play dress up and have fun.

Trying on different colors, matching them, intertwining them, I wanted to capture this marker, in my journey. This reflection of the different Spirit and emotional journeys I had partaken in, this year. Imagining myself being in this Universal haven, where harm could not come my way. Where I was protected. Like a child at a carnival, I wanted to try all the adventures, which had been available for me. Including those still hidden.

Blues, yellows, greens, reds, and combining them in different ways. This particular culmination of the year 34, was most precious. Documenting myself in different auras, and making those personas vigilant, in order to see them for myself. Experimenting or re-examining those colors I had never truly paid attention to? In wearing them, what were they telling me about this particular point in my journey?

(Source: Photograph and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)
(Photographs and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)

This solo celebration was very euphoric for me. For one, it illuminated the beauties of getting older. Eradicating any notion that 35 limited opportunities to women; especially those, who play in the Universal way. All of these negative articles written to scare the Feminine. Creating fears that they will never have their heart’s desire if they have not gotten it by 35. Second, it showed that my inner light was extremely vibrant, and that I would carry that into the next stage of my life. Who ever said that we are to lose it as we increase in age? That somehow, we are to lose all vivacity and high energy because we have written a certain part of our lives? Or even worse, that vibrant and vivacious activities and things are only relegated to a certain age category.

On my last day of 34, I felt even more compelled than ever to be very active. Dressing up in these colors was one way of celebrating the vivacity of my womanhood. That I can continue to explore, and have fun with it, even if I increase by 1 in age. Thinking about that special moment with myself reminds me of certain times in Cairo, Egypt. That celebration when I was sent on an assignment to write about a beautiful, fashion show. I couldn’t help, but observe two 50+ Egyptian dames, who were simply, fierce! Stunning and sheek, to the core! They exuded a level of fun and confidence, as if they were 20-year old women going out for a night in the town. Clearly, they still had it, and would never lose it, no matter, how they increased in age.

(Source: Photograph and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)

It was such a fun experience to play with Universal imagination. As if I was re-creating myself all over again. Vibrant and enriching! Whatever sadness I was feeling, after reading a depressing article on the “pains” of turning 35, slowly eroded away. These lies were simply, untrue! And, my personal experience was the living proof of such! Wearing and documenting myself in different colors was the evidence, that the auras of childhood and youth can always be returned to, in the world of the living. Always! There is no particular age group, which can limit that.

Another fascinating approach with this fun time in 34 is the naturalness of it all. It was sporadic, in the moment. I didn’t rush to get my hair done, my eye brows had spread more, and you know what? That was, Ok! It was beautiful because I had embraced the natural! I was capturing, and embracing the beauty with my natural, feminine existence. Because at the end of the day, that’s where the real Beauty lays!

(Source: Photograph and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)

Dancing and performing in colorful dress up was an element of fantastical celebration. It was one of the important activities, which helped to capture and bring the year of 34 to a close. But, does it ever really “close?” Who is to say that 34 does not carry into 35? That they are not intertwined within each other. Or that auras, dreams, and joys of 34 do not transition into 35? Its something to inquire into. And, is there a fallacy when it comes to our perception of age? I think so!

The year of 34 was a fascinating year for me. It taught many lessons. It introduced new opportunities. Furthermore, it allowed for me to reflect upon things in need of completion. Who and what I needed to devote my time to. What I needed to let go, as it was no longer sustaining the journey and vision, I had for myself.

In this time of a quarantine, we are actually entering a world of endless opportunity and abundance. Many of us don’t see or recognize it because we are used to having to be out, in order to see those opportunities. Yet, solitude will force us to see. That’s the miracle and genius of, stillness. In celebration of my last day of 34, I chose to explore more of these possibilities. And, it was fun, indeed! Draping and wrapping myself in Universal persona, I wanted to ensure that I treasured that moment. With songs of my favorite artists playing, I desired to just dance and glow! Feeling excited about what life was bringing me, I not only lived in that moment, but carried it with me. Because at 34, I felt like 17!

(Photograph and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)
(Photograph and Edits By Lauren K. Clark)