Most of us have been there. A colleague mentions that a parent died, or shares a difficult diagnosis, or comes back to work after a loss — and we don’t know what to say. So we say nothing, or we say something vague, or we send a generic email and hope it lands. The silence feels safer than the alternative. But it isn’t.
Workplace research is catching up to what most of us sense but rarely discuss: how coworkers and managers respond in those hard moments has a measurable impact on the person going through them. The World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs Report 2025 identified empathy and active listening as core workforce competencies for the next five years. The ability to show up well for a colleague in crisis is increasingly what separates strong teams from struggling ones.
The good news is that showing up well doesn’t require perfect words. It requires a few small, intentional practices. Start here:
1. Recognize the real cost of staying quiet
Doing nothing feels neutral, but it isn’t. A 2025 study of 127 employees who were working through a personal loss found measurable declines in engagement, loyalty, and job satisfaction afterward, declines tied directly to insufficient support from employers and coworkers. The people who felt unseen at work during their hardest moments didn’t just feel hurt. They disengaged.
For managers and teammates, that finding carries a clear implication. The awkwardness of not knowing what to say is not a good enough reason to stay quiet. Saying something — even something imperfect — almost always lands better than saying nothing at all.
2. Lead with presence, not solutions
When someone is grieving or struggling, the instinct to fix things is understandable. Resist it. What research on compassionate support consistently shows is that the most meaningful thing you can offer is acknowledgment. Saying, “That sounds really hard,” or, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” does more than most people expect. It signals that the person isn’t invisible, that their reality has been seen, and that they don’t have to perform wellness to stay in good standing at work.
Ask how they’re holding up. Create space for them to talk — or not. Validate before you problem-solve. The goal is simply to make the person feel a little less alone in it.
3. Turn care into a specific, low-burden offer
“Let me know if you need anything” is well-intentioned. It’s also nearly useless. It puts the labor of asking back on the person who’s already overwhelmed. Specific offers remove that burden entirely. “I’m handling the notes from Thursday’s meeting — don’t worry about it,” or, “I’m sending dinner on Friday; any dietary restrictions?” requires nothing from the person in crisis except a yes.
Greg Miller, CEO of Magic Kitchen, a national prepared-meal delivery service, puts it simply: “Food has been provided in situations where one person wants to help another for centuries. There’s no simpler way to help without getting in the way than with a meal delivered to their door.”
The same principle applies beyond meals. Cover a deliverable or take something off their plate. Make the gesture concrete and make it easy to receive.
4. Keep showing up after the first week
The cards and check-ins tend to cluster in the first few days. Then life moves on for everyone except the person still carrying the weight of what happened.
The lonelier, harder stretch of grief often begins weeks after the initial loss, when the attention has faded and the person is expected to be back to normal. A calendar reminder to check in a month later — or again at the anniversary of a loss — takes less than a minute to set and can mean more than most people realize.
Consistency is the thing. It signals that the support wasn’t a performance. It signals that you actually meant it.
Showing Up Is a Skill Worth Developing
None of this requires special training or the perfect thing to say. It requires paying attention, taking small action, and following through longer than feels necessary.
The colleagues and managers people remember during their hardest moments aren’t the ones who had the right words. They’re the ones who showed up, stayed present, and kept checking in long after everyone else moved on. That kind of support builds trust that lasts well beyond the hard moment itself.