Compassion gets a bad rap. Too often, it’s dismissed as soft or self-sacrificing, something we give to others at the expense of ourselves. But the truth is—compassion is bold. It takes courage to show up for ourselves, to give grace to those closest to us, and to extend kindness out in the world when it feels easier to check out.
Here’s the deal: compassion isn’t just about feeling for others—it’s about taking action in meaningful ways. It goes beyond empathy to create change in our lives and the lives of those around us.
Let’s explore Bold Compassion through three key areas—self-compassion, compassion for those closest to us, and compassion for the people we come across in our day-to-day lives—like the barista making our coffee, a stranger on the sidewalk, or even the driver who just cut us off.
Bold Self-Compassion
Think about the last time you made a mistake. What was your immediate reaction? If you’re like most of us, it probably wasn’t a kind inner pep talk—it was more like an onslaught of self-judgment. We hold ourselves to impossible standards, convinced that being hard on ourselves is the path to success.
But research from Kristin Neff shows self-compassion enhances resilience, motivation, and mental well-being—not laziness or complacency. Yet, we resist treating ourselves with the same kindness we’d offer a friend. The way we talk to ourselves matters. Would you speak to a loved one the way you speak to yourself?
It’s time to challenge the inner critic. Instead of beating yourself up, try this: Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Self-compassion isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about removing the unnecessary weight of self-doubt. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. When we embrace mistakes as part of learning, we build the confidence to keep moving forward.
Make It Bold:
The next time you catch yourself spiraling into negative self-talk, pause. Swap the judgment for curiosity. What’s a kinder way to see this? A small shift in self-talk can be the boldest act of self-compassion.
Bold Compassion with Those Closest to Us
Here’s something ironic—we tend to extend more patience and kindness to strangers than to the people we love most. When life gets stressful, we snap at our partners, rush past our kids, and assume the worst in close friends. It’s not because we don’t care; it’s because familiarity makes us forget the power of compassion.
What if, instead of reacting, we chose to assume the best?
Instead of frustration, we could pause and ask: What else could be true here? A shift from assumption to curiosity changes everything. Compassion isn’t about fixing people—it’s about showing up with care. When someone you love is struggling, don’t jump straight into problem-solving mode. Instead, use the 3 H’s and ask them: Do you need to feel heard, helped, or hugged? Sometimes, they just need to vent. Other times, they might appreciate advice or a small act of kindness. And every so often, a simple hug says more than words ever could. Let them tell you what they need, and meet them there. This isn’t to put the burden on them. This is just to give them space to share what they really need.
Make It Bold:
The next time you feel irritation rising, take a breath before reacting. Swap Why didn’t you do this? for Is everything okay? Small shifts in how we respond can make the biggest impact.
Bold Compassion with the World
The world can feel like too much sometimes. When we’re bombarded with bad news, it’s easy to shut down and think, What difference can I really make? This can sometimes be a sign of compassion fatigue, which happens when prolonged exposure to others’ suffering leaves us emotionally drained. But even if we’re not experiencing full burnout, many of us still feel compassion overload—the weight of caring deeply but feeling powerless to make a difference. It’s easy to assume that if we can’t fix everything, it’s not worth trying, but that’s not true.
But small moments matter. Holding the door for someone, offering a genuine compliment, assuming the best in a frustrating situation—these are the everyday acts of Bold Compassion. They create ripples that go further than we realize—and not just for others. Research shows that acts of compassion and altruism also benefit us, boosting well-being, reducing stress, and even increasing longevity. When we show up for others, we strengthen our own resilience, too. And here’s the thing: compassion doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Boundaries and kindness can coexist.
Make It Bold:
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by everything you can’t do, focus on one small action you can take today. Maybe it’s checking in on a friend, sending an encouraging message, or simply choosing to be present in a conversation. Tiny moments of compassion add up.
Bold Compassion is a Daily Choice
Compassion isn’t about being soft—it’s about having the strength to care and take action. It’s a choice we make daily: for ourselves, for the people we love, and for the world. When we lead with Bold Compassion , we optimize happiness, relationships, and performance.
So, here’s your challenge: What’s one area where you can bring more bold compassion into your life today?
In Bold Gratitude,
Lainie