The afternoon I woke you from your sleep with the harsh announcement that you had to leave was one of the most painful moments I’ve ever felt. Reality had cracked open the delicate shell of my sheltered world and I knew you would never become more than what you were at that very moment. So beautiful, so lost, so empty, sleeping for the first time in days, needles waiting in your purse for the first “friend” to call you with the chance to get high…never knowing who you are meant to be, never using your wings, never living life. You simply existed. The pain and bewilderment on your face, the frantic attempts to procrastinate walking out of my door tore at heart and I wanted to get sick but I knew if I let you stay, you would continue to destroy yourself…and I would drown trying to save you. I sent you texts and emails, left voicemails and messages on social media every day, hoping to inspire you and always ALWAYS reminding you of my undying love for and belief in you.
Two years have passed and we are closer now than we have ever been. Your wings are strong as you look forward to graduating college, further your career and find your first home. My little nestling, look at you soar! You make me proud as I listen to you chatter so happily about your life now and most of all, because I see the light shining in your eyes. A year ago, you thanked me for pushing you out into the world. You believe in yourself now as much I always have.