The Power of Thought, Association and Now!
As human beings, we all have faced unpleasant situations in our life.
Situations that we handle sometimes very well, and at other times bog us down and make us feel helpless. All around us we have numerous examples of people breaking barriers and living up to the higher purpose in their life. We also have people who just give up and feel defeated. Being a human behavioral coach and having worked with hundreds of people, I have found that there are three things that are crucial, common behaviours that make or break them. The Power of Thought, Association and Now!
- The Power of Thought
Thoughts become things. As you sow, so you reap. The power of thought is the most important and the foundation of all success. An average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% are negative, and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. We are usually going through the day on autopilot mode. We are conditioned by external influences to repeat the same things. We get into a comfort zone. There are narratives that have been stored in our heads which either set us up for success, or break us down.
What did you hear when you were growing up? From your parents, teachers, friends? Did they appreciate you for your singing, math, painting, cheerfulness, communication? Or did they shame you for being overweight, for skin color, for being less intelligent? Did they teach you to express yourself fearlessly, explore things courageously? Or did they bind you in superstitions, mindless rituals and condition you to be tied down? Did they tell you that money does not grow on trees? That you are middle class and you can’t dream of riches? Or did you tell to reach for the stars!
You being to attach a feeling or an emotion to each of these thoughts. And once you attach a feeling or emotion, it starts showing up in your daily behavior. Example: Snakes are poisonous is what you are told, then you attach the emotion of fear to the visual of a snake. And the moment you see a snake, you run away (behavior) from there.
So, the first thing is to become aware of the thoughts in your head. Don’t let them defeat you. Think positive!
2. The Power of Association
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”– Jim Rohn.
Who are you spending the most time with? Are the people around you inspiring you for greater good and success? Or are they pulling you down? Who you spend your time with and how you interact with them is the next important behaviour. Are the people around you complaining, gossiping, being negative all the time? Are you spending your time learning from the best in your field, reading the best books, working with coaches that help you attain your higher purpose and bring out the best version of yourself? Who you associate with determines whether you break barriers around you or get entrapped in them more. A raindrop when it falls from the sky is so pure if you catch it in your palms, you can drink it, if it falls on a leaf, it becomes a dewdrop, if it falls on a hot surface, it evaporates, if it falls in a gutter, it becomes filthy and if it falls in an oyster, becomes a pearl! So, who are the 5 people you associate with most frequently?
3. The Power of Now
Most people are constantly regretting what they did in the past or worrying about the future. 97% of our worries are baseless and result from an unfounded pessimistic perception. Worrying depletes us of our energy, leaves us tired, angry and frustrated with ourselves. When we are in this negative state, we tend to lash out at others and heap our anger and frustration on others. This then leads to a breakdown of relationships with those you love, further making life unpleasant for us.
In today’s VUCA world, people are all hustling. Busy, multitasking all the time. Answering mails, taking phone calls, replying to WhatsApp messages and trying to finish a quick working lunch while trying to get children do their online classes, finish domestic chores and so much more. We need to slow down and take time to smell the roses. Enjoy your meal, savor the taste of it, feel the texture of the food on your tongue, enjoy a heartful conversation with family, look at the rising sun, hear the birds chirping, do one thing at a time and be fully mindful and aware of the situation around you. Yesterday is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift and that’s why it is called the present. Be in the present. Experience the Now! This is the only time you truly can enjoy and make a difference to!
PS: If you would like to read about how ordinary people broke barriers with T.A.N, write in to me at [email protected] or connect on FB/insta @rinnkug to be the first to know of the launch of my upcoming book “ Breaking Barriers with T.A.N”