Mental friction happens when our thoughts, feelings, and actions don’t align with who we want to be. Healing comes from creating that alignment.
– George Haymaker
In today’s fast-paced world, many of us struggle with perfectionism, chronic pressure, and a relentless drive to overperform—often at the expense of our well-being. George Haymaker, a brain science educator and coach, brings a fresh perspective by helping people understand how their brain’s deeply ingrained patterns shape their behaviors and emotions. Through his coaching, George guides clients in recognizing these unconscious habits and rewiring their brains to create new, healthier identities aligned with their true selves. His approach blends neuroscience with practical, compassionate coaching, empowering individuals to break free from mental friction and live with greater peace, balance, and fulfillment.
In this candid and insightful interview with Stacey Chillemi, host of The Advisor podcast, George takes us behind the scenes of his transformative coaching process. Using Co-host Lisa Urbanskis personal experience as an example, they explore how perfectionism manifests, the toll it takes, and how awareness and intentional brain training can loosen its grip. Together, they discuss building a “Lisa 2.0” — a new identity rooted in self-compassion and authenticity. This conversation offers valuable wisdom and actionable insights for anyone seeking to overcome limiting patterns and step into a freer, more empowered version of themselves.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Thank you, Stacey. I’m honored to be here. My backstory is really one of transformation—not in the flashy, overnight success way, but in the gritty, slow, and often uncomfortable unraveling of old beliefs. I spent years caught in loops of anxiety, overachieving, and burnout. I was living in a kind of high-functioning survival mode—getting things done, checking the boxes, but never truly feeling grounded or at peace. That experience eventually led me to study the science of the brain and human behavior. I learned how our minds are shaped by patterns, and how we can retrain those patterns to create emotional freedom and alignment. Now, I coach others to do the same. It’s powerful work, and it’s personal to me.
What drew you to this work in brain rewiring and identity transformation? Was there a turning point that sparked your interest?
Yes—actually, it wasn’t a single moment, but more of a breaking point. I hit a wall with my health, my relationships, and my emotional well-being. I was “successful” on paper, but internally, I was running on fumes. That dissonance—the gap between how life looked and how it felt—pushed me into research. I started diving deep into neuroscience, psychology, and somatic practices, searching for answers. What I found was both validating and liberating: the brain is not fixed. Our patterns are not who we are. That realization changed my life—and it became something I felt compelled to share.
When you begin working with a client, how do you identify the patterns that are keeping them stuck?
It starts with listening—closely. We look at repeated behaviors, thoughts, and emotional reactions. These loops often masquerade as personality traits. For instance, someone might say, “I’ve always been anxious,” but anxiety isn’t an identity—it’s a learned response. Once we spot these loops, we trace them back to their roots: childhood, cultural programming, or past trauma. From there, we name them. That naming process is crucial. It externalizes the pattern and removes the shame. You’re not broken—you’re just running outdated code. And code can be rewritten.
Why is naming a pattern like “pressured over-performer” so effective in shifting it?
Because when we give something a name, we create distance. Instead of saying “I am this way,” you say, “I’ve been operating under this pattern.” It separates you from the behavior and brings in choice. The “pressured over-performer” archetype, for example, helps people see how their constant drive to do more is often fueled by fear—not desire. Once it’s named, we can observe it, challenge it, and replace it with something healthier. It becomes less of a shame cycle and more of a curious investigation.
Can you share how this pressured over-performer pattern showed up in everyday life for your clients?
Absolutely. It tends to show up as constant urgency—the inability to rest without guilt, the need to be productive all the time, and the belief that your worth is tied to output. People in this pattern often struggle with sleep, experience burnout, and feel disconnected from their own joy. Even in moments of success, there’s little satisfaction because the internal voice just says, “What’s next?” It becomes a loop of never-enoughness. And while it looks like high-functioning on the outside, internally, it’s exhausting.
Where do these patterns originate from, and why are they so hard to break?
Most of them originate in childhood. The brain is highly impressionable during early years, and we develop behaviors that help us earn love, avoid conflict, or feel safe. These behaviors get wired in and repeated thousands of times. Because they once “worked,” the brain holds onto them—even when they no longer serve us. They’re hard to break because they’re familiar. The brain favors familiarity over happiness. That’s why intentional rewiring is necessary—we have to create new patterns that feel just as real and safe as the old ones.
The brain thrives on repetition. How does that play into the way we change behavior or identity?
Repetition is the language of the brain. It doesn’t respond to logic—it responds to what you practice the most. If you’ve rehearsed self-doubt for years, that becomes your default. But if you start rehearsing confidence, groundedness, or worthiness with enough frequency and emotion, those states become your new normal. It’s like building a new mental muscle. That’s why I often use the gym analogy: you don’t lift a weight once and expect to build strength. It’s about consistent reps over time—and the same applies to thought and identity.
Tell us about the concept of “Lisa 2.0.” What does it represent, and how does it help people reimagine their identity?
Lisa 2.0 is a playful and powerful metaphor for who you are becoming. It represents your consciously chosen self—not the self created by fear, wounds, or programming. When we build out a 2.0 version, we’re saying, “If I wasn’t operating from this old pattern, who would I be?” It helps people step out of survival mode and into vision. We map out how she thinks, feels, responds, and carries herself. This version is emotionally regulated, aligned with her values, and rooted in self-worth. Then we begin practicing her—daily. Over time, Lisa 2.0 becomes the new you.
How do you guide people to step into this 2.0 version in their real life?
We use a mix of mental rehearsal, journaling, embodiment practices, and conscious decision-making. Every day becomes a chance to ask, “What would my 2.0 do here?” Whether it’s how you respond to an email, set a boundary, or choose rest over hustle—you make micro-decisions that align with your new identity. The more often you choose her, the more your brain begins to believe that this is who you truly are. It’s not about pretending—it’s about practicing.
What role does the nervous system play in this identity shift?
The nervous system is everything. If you try to become a new version of yourself but your body still feels unsafe, the change won’t stick. We have to regulate the nervous system so it can hold the emotions of expansion—joy, ease, abundance—without collapsing back into stress. That’s why I integrate breathwork, grounding, and somatic tools into the process. Your body needs to feel that it’s safe to change. Safety is the soil where new identities take root.
Why is tapping into emotion so essential when trying to create lasting change in behavior or identity?
Yes. Emotion is the glue of memory. It’s what signals the brain to pay attention. When we rehearse a new belief with strong, elevated emotion—like excitement, gratitude, or joy—it sticks faster. That’s why visualizing your future self isn’t enough—you have to feel her. Feel the peace, the power, the expansion as if it’s already true. That emotion imprints the new pattern much deeper than just mental affirmation.
Is this work only for people who feel “stuck,” or can anyone benefit from it?
It’s for everyone. Even high performers can be running on outdated wiring. Just because you’re achieving doesn’t mean you’re aligned. This work helps people live with more clarity, peace, and fulfillment—regardless of their starting point. It’s about becoming more intentional and more self-led. Whether you’re trying to heal, grow, or optimize, rewiring your brain to support your highest self will elevate everything you do.
How can someone tell if their pattern is beginning to shift? What happens when someone falls back into an old pattern?
There are subtle but profound signs. You might notice more ease in your body, more self-compassion in your thoughts. You’ll start to respond instead of react. You’ll stop chasing validation and begin honoring your own needs. You might even catch yourself smiling at a moment that would’ve triggered you before. These shifts may seem small, but they’re evidence that the inner work is taking root. It’s like the emotional weather starts to change—and you realize you’re the one holding the umbrella now.
That’s part of the process. Regression isn’t failure—it’s feedback. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s awareness and recovery. The moment you notice you’ve slipped, you’ve already won. Because now you have the tools to pause, regulate, and reorient. Over time, the bounce-back becomes quicker and gentler. You move from being hijacked by old patterns to leading yourself through them with grace.
Why is it important to bring humor and lightness into this process?
Because transformation can be heavy—and laughter lightens the load. When we joked about having a “Hulk-sized perfectionism muscle,” that playfulness diffused the pressure. It reminded us that you don’t have to be solemn to be serious about change. Humor opens the nervous system and invites creativity. It says, “Hey, we’re human. We’re figuring it out.” And that’s a powerful state from which to grow.
How does life change when someone is no longer living with chronic “mental friction”?
Mental friction is that constant inner tug-of-war—when your actions and values are misaligned. Once you begin living from a grounded, congruent identity, that tension eases. Decisions get simpler. Boundaries become cleaner. You stop feeling like you’re at war with yourself. That inner peace starts radiating outward. Life still brings challenges, but you meet them from a place of wholeness, not hustle.
What’s the bigger vision behind this work for you?
The vision is to empower people to become the authors of their own identity. Too many people are living on autopilot, reacting from old wounds, and feeling stuck in stories that aren’t even theirs. I want to help change that. Imagine a world where more people are self-aware, emotionally regulated, and living from integrity. That ripple effect would touch everything—families, businesses, communities. This isn’t just mindset work. It’s humanity work.
What’s one core message you want every reader to walk away with?
You are not your pattern. You are not broken. You are beautifully designed for transformation. The thoughts you think and the actions you take are malleable. You can change. And not just incrementally, but fundamentally. All it takes is awareness, intention, and practice. The life you’re longing for is not outside of you—it’s within your reach, waiting for you to remember who you truly are.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I’d love to stay connected! You can find me at georgehaymaker.com, where I share resources, programs, and trainings focused on brain rewiring and personal transformation. I’m also on LinkedIn, where I post insights, behind-the-scenes coaching moments, and tools to help people build their 2.0 identity. Whether you’re new to this work or ready to go deeper, there’s something there for you.
Thank you so much for this deeply thoughtful and empowering conversation. I know our readers will gain so much from it.
Thank you, Stacey. It’s been such a joy to share this space with you. These conversations matter—and I’m grateful to be part of one that might just help someone realize they’re not stuck… they’re just one decision away from something new.
