Have you ever seen little tiny fingers wiggling under your door? It’s not a scene out of a horror movie it’s a mom in a room with a door closed.

First it’s the sound of pitter patter feet coming down the hall. Oh shit they found me.

Then it’s the voices ‘Mommy can you help me? Mommy Tali took my food! Mommy I need to see you?’ I sometimes just ignore this, but most times I say I’m in here doing something be out in a minute.

They have no idea what a minute is so they keep asking. Then I ignore.

Then come the fingers. Like they are searching for a treasure and won’t stop no matter what.

This picture is me on a Sunday morning hiding in my room trying to exercise. Doing a video that is 30 minutes may seem like no big deal but to a working mom it’s a huge accomplishment.

My husband is home, why isn’t he doing anything with them? Why are they just sitting at my door like a bunch of zombies.

I’m 20 minutes through and think I’ll be able to finish the video. They come back and forth in a gang formation. Sitting by the door, pounding on it, crying, scratching it – you get the picture.

I finally give in and let them in. They want to show me a rock, a piece of string and just say Hi!

It’s hard to separate and carve out time for yourself when you are a mom. You have your own stuff to do that you need to do for your own sanity but nonchalantly gets pushed to the bottom of the list.

I don’t like hearing them ‘need’ me at the door it’s heartbreaking. I just saw them 5 minutes ago AND they have another care giver available and last it’s hard to put myself first and just finish the damn video.

Why is it so hard? Men don’t seem to have a problem with this. Why should we?

Because were hard wired for it. To care, nurture and put others first. I can’t win against my hard wiring, it’s my ultimate blessing and purpose here now. But I have equally important and interesting things to do for myself. To grow myself as a person, women and human.

I finished the video with a yellow piece of string and a dirty rock next to me with 3 kids cheering me on.

This is a win for a Sunday morning!