Believing in yourself boosts your self-confidence. When you have confidence in your abilities and potential, you are more likely to take on new challenges, overcome obstacles, and achieve your goals. It helps you develop a positive self-image and strengthens your resilience in the face of setbacks.
Starting something new is scary. Learning to believe in yourself can be a critical precursor to starting a new initiative. Why is it so important to learn to believe in yourself? How can someone work on gaining these skills? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, authors, writers, coaches, medical professionals, teachers, to share empowering insights about “How To Learn To Believe In Yourself.” As a part of this series we had the pleasure of interviewing Cat Hamilton.
Cat was born in Scotland, and found Mindfulness and Meditation after her marriage of 14 yrs ended. She has sat 18 Vipassana Courses and now teaches the gifts she has gained from Mindfulness and Meditation over the years in the hope that it will inspire others. Cat is a Certified Coach, Intuitive, and Accredited CPD teacher. She has written several e-books, some of which are downloadable from her website
linktr.ee/consciousness_musings
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Thank you for inviting me to this interview. I look forward to sharing my insights with you.
I was born in Scotland and had a very happy childhood. I had a sense of belonging and felt very confident as a child. When I was 11, we moved to England. It was a huge transition for me going from knowing everyone and feeling safe, to knowing no-one and having to start again; in what felt like a whole new country.
I struggled to fit in and to find the sense of belonging I had always felt. It proved elusive and to some extent still does. I felt that no-one cared about me or about finding out about me. The differences in accents proved challenging at first and people didn’t understand me or even want to try. I felt confused, isolated and alone for the first time in my life.
Thankfully, I seem to have a strong sense of resilience within me. A drive to do whatever it takes to get by. Eventually, I found new friends and started again. On reflection, I feel that I had a deep sense of self worth and self belief within me that was borne out of my childhood in Scotland; and kept me moving forward.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
As I was growing up I felt a deep sense of there being more to life than meets the eye. I had a sense of the interconnectedness of all things and could see that nothing in the world worked — systems are inadequate, governments do not address the root of what was going on in society and that people were struggling to get by. I realised that mental health is fragile and we all need support that allows us to feel connection, respect and that we are valued.
I couldn’t see anything in the world that was doing that. All I could see was frustration and a lack of cohesion.
I love the quote by Albert Einstein — ‘You cannot change a situation with the same mind that created it’. It felt that a new approach was necessary for deep change to occur.
I started out counselling people with drug and alcohol addictions, volunteering with Victim Support and young offenders, then I moved on to managed a hostel for teenage care leavers. I could see how the systems in place were still failing society, which caused me more frustration, and an inability to actually do what was necessary and did not contravene the red tape wrapped round everything.
It became my mission to empower others to listen to their own counsel, to discover what they needed to thrive and be productive; opposed to what was being forced on society as being necessary, and to do what felt right for them. The need for autonomy, self belief and confidence in ourselves became apparent.
I learned healing modalities, bodywork techniques and added to my counselling skills with relationship and life coaching certifications.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Probably one of the funniest things I can remember is when a client came to me for a bodywork treatment. She was explaining when she did certain things it would hurt her in specific places in her body. I was feeling a bit playful, and said ‘maybe you could stop doing those things’. Unfortunately she wasn’t amused and I didn’t see her again. A lesson in not to make fun of other’s situations, even if it was in an attempt to gain rapport.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
At the moment the biggest project I am working on is myself. I have found myself at a very challenging crossroads and it is taking every part of me to stay positive, and to see light at the end of the tunnel. I have been through a couple of years of huge changes and foundational challenges that have put everything I have ever known into question.
I find self reflection interesting and exciting — as well as deeply challenging. However, there is always an underlying sense of this being an opportunity for profound breakthroughs and potential growth. No matter how difficult things become, I remind myself that life is a partnership and that this is happening for me and not to me.
Having the sense that there is a bigger purpose for the current situation allows me to evolve with it and not resist it as much as I may have in the past. Knowing that in hindsight, there is always a gift and a reason behind all the challenges I have faced and overcome. Even if it is not apparent in the moment.
My growth, self reflection and willingness to do the work, not only helps me, it also helps those I support because I am continually learning and growing through my adversities which puts me in a place of understanding and brings more empathy to my work and the people who seek me out.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain a few reasons why it is so important to believe in yourself? Can you share a story or give some examples?
Believing in yourself boosts your self-confidence. When you have confidence in your abilities and potential, you are more likely to take on new challenges, overcome obstacles, and achieve your goals. It helps you develop a positive self-image and strengthens your resilience in the face of setbacks.
When we have a low sense of self belief we are less likely to take on challenges that arise with confidence. We are more likely to pull back and resist what is happening. These are all natural tendencies to unwanted challenges, however when we have a strong sense of ‘I can do this’ we start to look for ways to face the challenge and overcome the perceived obstacles.
What exactly does it mean to believe in yourself? Can I believe that I can be a great artist even though I’m not very talented? Can I believe I can be a gold medal Olympic even if I’m not athletic? Can you please explain what you mean?
Believing in yourself means having confidence in your abilities, skills, and potential. It is a deep-rooted conviction that you are capable of achieving your goals, overcoming challenges, and fulfilling your aspirations. It involves having a positive self-image and trusting in your own judgment and decisions.
Henry Ford said it like this — ‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right’
Having a sense of belief in one’s self make’s what you think is possible for yourself more achievable, and you are more willing to try and not feel defeated by a challenge before facing it.
You can’t think yourself into being a gold medal winner without the self belief that you can be, and a willingness to do what it takes to achieve it.
It may not transpire that you win a gold medal first time round, however the self belief and perseverance that you embody could make it possible, and that you have the confidence to try gives you a good place to start from.
Was there a time when you did not believe in yourself? How did this impact your choices?
Of course. I have doubted myself and felt overwhelmed by challenges many times before. As I mentioned earlier, I am currently in the midst of big struggles. If I feel defeated and tired from the battle and not feeling like I am getting anywhere, then I do start to doubt my ability to succeed and can potentially project a defeatist outcome.
When this happens I can feel the world closing in on me. I feel a sense of being a victim of the circumstances of the current situation, which can make me feel like giving up. There can be a constant battle between overwhelm and ‘get on with it’ going on within me.
Hormones, stress and other factors all have a part to play in how good I feel about myself and my ability to overcome situations. It can feel like a constant fight. Eckhart Tolle said in his book The Power of Now — life is one damn thing after another.
I have found that the feelings of not believing in myself and not trusting my abilities to ‘get through this’ are worse than the actual steps I need to take. From my years of self reflection, Vipassana and Coaching I have some developed some tools that support me in taking a bigger picture view, which helps me to find solutions and the steps to take towards my desired outcome.
Otherwise, I can feel helpless, anxious and a victim of my situation. Finding and building on that inner self belief may take professional help if you have had a lifetime of self doubt and a vicious inner critic.
Also, depending on how you were brought up, and the attitude you have to life, will have a bearing on how good you feel about yourself, and your abilities to succeed and cope with what life throws at you. An old friend used to say to me ‘Life is not for wimps!’.
At what point did you realize that in order to get to the next level, it would be necessary to build up your belief in yourself? Can you share the story with us?
As a child being taken out of everything that was familiar and put in a place that was unfamiliar, unfriendly and unsupportive, I realised that it was down to me to make my situation what I needed it to be for me to survive. I am lucky enough to have a secure attachment style and believe that my ‘can do’ attitude was borne out of that.
After feeling as a child that the world revolved around me, I had the wake up call that it doesn’t. I realised that I have to give life the ingredients that will support me in feeling good enough and capable of achieving what I put my mind to, then life conspires to support that.
What are your top 5 strategies that will help someone learn to believe in themselves? Please share a story or example for each.
1 . Identify your strengths: Recognise and acknowledge your strengths, skills, and accomplishments. Reflect on your past successes and the challenges you have overcome. Celebrating your achievements can help to build a foundation of self-
belief and instil a confidence that gives you evidence of what you have accomplished and achieved.
2. Challenge self-limiting beliefs: Identify any negative or self-limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Notice the inner critic, and make a conscious decision to replace the negative self-talk with positive and more empowering thoughts. Practice reframing negative self-talk into positive affirmations that reinforce your abilities and make you feel better about yourself.
3. Say “Yes” more: Step outside your comfort zone and confront your fears. Take calculated risks and push yourself to try new things. Each small step outside your comfort zone builds confidence and shows you that you are capable of handling challenges. Saying ‘yes’ to more things that are put in front of you instead of an immediate and reactionary ‘no’ will help you to develop more confidence in yourself. Doing things that you wouldn’t normally do can be fun and character revealing.
4. Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with supportive and positive influences. Seek out friends, or communities that uplift and encourage you. Avoid people and situations that bring you down or undermine your belief in yourself. Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential for building self-belief. Practice self-care activities that energise and nurture you, such as exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.
5 . Set realistic goals: Set specific, achievable goals that align with your interests and values. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps. As you accomplish these milestones, your confidence will grow, reinforcing your belief in your ability to achieve even bigger goals. You can start with small goals and build up are your confidence and belief in yourself grows.
These steps all go a long way to support you in strengthening your self belief as they all challenge and encourage you to do things you wouldn’t normally do which gives an inner sense of achievement and confidence in your abilities.
Conversely, how can one stop the negative stream of self-criticism that often accompanies us as we try to grow?
This can be the biggest challenge and obstacle to over come. If there is no sense of self worth of belief then everything is too much. I would suggest taking small steps first. You are undoing potentially several years or a lifetime of not being good enough. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself like a child learning something new for the first time. Give yourself a break.
I know I mentioned this above, however reinforcing and acknowledging what you have achieved in your life can be really useful in instilling confidence. Think about what it took for you to be able to achieve it. Remember how good it felt when you succeeded. Can you apply the strategies it took to achieve the results you got?
Talk to friends and ask them to tell you all the strengthens they think you have and that they value you for. You may be surprised by what others think about you.
Maybe explore where this lack of self belief stemmed from. Where is it rooted within and what happened to knock your confidence in yourself?
You can also challenge the thoughts that arise. Ask questions like is this true? Why do I believe this? See if you can get to the root of the cause. You may need to reach out to a Coach or Counsellor who can help you uncover deeper rooted causes and support you in raising your self belief as this is the core of where the behaviour/belief started.
Are there any misconceptions about self-confidence and believing in oneself that you would like to dispel?
An outer display of self confidence and self belief can me construed as ‘who do they think they are’ or ‘they are full of themselves’. However, having self belief doesn’t always mean that you are arrogant, full of yourself or perfect.
There can be aspects of this being perceived from high achievers as their confidence is sky high and their belief in their own abilities can potentially build up a strong ego persona. Many who come across in this way can also be over compensating and underneath it all have a struggle with Imposter Syndrome going on within.
However, quiet inner self belief, knowing that you can count on yourself and that you are willing to take on what is thrown at you can give a more serene and playful demeanour because you are not taking life too seriously. You are not fazed by anything because you know you can and will do whatever it takes to get through each challenge as they come.
From the outside looking in, having a strong sense of self confidence can be perceived as you always succeed, or ‘it’s ok for you’, or that ‘everything is always good for you’. Instead, it is a sign of resilience and a willingness to get up and try again after failures. An observed outer self confidence doesn’t mean that everything is always ok for someone, it is more likely to mean they are battle scarred but still willing to get up every day with a smile on their face ready to take on what life brings them.
People with a belief in themselves and who are willing to try, can also have other challenges going on which they do not share. Having a strong mindset and maintaining belief in yourself is ongoing and continually put to the test. However, they can be seen as ‘too much’ or ‘over achievers’ or some other derogatory label that may be assigned to them from those that may not have the same drive and courage within to do what it takes to succeed.
What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is a specific manifestation of not believing in yourself. It is characterised by a persistent feeling of being a fraud, despite evidence of your competence and accomplishments. People with imposter syndrome often attribute their successes to luck or external factors, fearing that they will be exposed as incapable or inadequate. A fraud.
Imposter Syndrome further reinforces self-doubt, anxiety, and a constant fear of being “found out.” It can lead to perfectionism, overworking, and a chronic need to prove oneself, often resulting in stress, burnout, and a lack of fulfilment. There is an overriding feeling of being ‘found out’ and that once people know you are a fraud they will not like you anymore and your reputation will be ruined.
It is important to recognise that imposter syndrome and a lack of self-belief are interconnected. Both stem from a distorted perception of one’s own abilities and worth, and both can hinder personal and professional progress. Overcoming imposter syndrome requires building self-belief and challenging negative self-perceptions.
It may be necessary to seek counsel for Imposter Syndrome as it is a deep rooted belief in not being good enough despite evidence that shows otherwise.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I would love to see a space created for Meditation in every community, village, city and town. A place that is non-denominational and free for others to gather and sit together any time of the day. I would also have meditation sessions in community cinemas and colleges at certain times of the day so that everyone knew there would be other people there ‘sitting’ at the same time.
In these times of increasing mental health challenges, I think it is important to feel accepted and that it is normal for our mental health to fluctuate. We don’t have to lead with our mental health as defining us. We are so much more, and when we all accept and acknowledge that life always brings us challenges then we can come together without judgment and grow our consciousness together.
Churches don’t have the power over the masses any more and more community oriented versions like Meditation Halls can help to bring about changes within communities all over the world at a deeper level than before. When all the fear is taken away, we are more empowered to be better versions of ourselves.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂
I love the work that Oprah Winfrey does to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves. Look what she achieved for herself. It is inspirational. I also love the work of Dr Joe Dispenza. He is another person who shows how self belief can change your life and heal your body in a miraculous way.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find out more about me at –
https:instagram.com/mindful_well_being
Email — [email protected]
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.