Charred heart pieces quiver, a slow burn spread around
Suddenly all the rage I thought was gone is found
My inner calm ripped open, exposing a forgotten burial ground
Completely disconnected yet contractually connected
Co-parenting bound
With the ties, our children anchor us around
My freedom taken down
With your words that slit so deep seeping dripping blood from your propound
My rationale suddenly drowned
Can’t stand giving you this much power
I was so high until I fell into this depressing shower
Chaotic waste
Infecting my safe space
Inflicting re-accruing wounds in my zen place
Can’t come up for air
Flailing in this despair
I’ll crawl around
Once again picking up my pieces from the ground
Your bark hurts like hell but is weak
It comes from your victim space where you live deep..
Stuck in shame
Pain is all you seek in yourself
Anger causes your revenge to strike
But lack of your own self-love
Is what I really dislike
I wish you cared
I wish you were not so scared
I wish you held your head high
I wish you could look in the mirror and smile
I wish you had a job for a while
I wish you would wash your fucking car
I wish you would allow light to enter you through your scars
You don’t have to live in black
I wish you hung your victimhood up on a rack
And shared your story
Emerging in glory
Leading by example for our children
Beaming positive self-esteem and knowing your worth
Re-writing your family’s narrative
Going through your own re-birth
I wish all of that for you
And pray and beam your light to engulf and accrue
In all the dark crevices that you knew
Ready to live again
Ready to rise when
You shed the heavy weight
I wish there was no more wait
But in the meantime you caused me to revisit my rage
Years after I thought I had turned the page
I’ll rise again for there Is no shelf space
For rage and hate
In my room
I’ll breathe again soon
Rage cannot stay
It holds me back from my play
I shed my tears
Chaos cannot stay
Here
Breathing in
I start this moment fresh again
Exhaling the chaos
Remembering whose boss
I leaned into that hell
Washing over me the feels that swelled
But this morning I ring the bell
Time’s up
The weight is over
Turning a corner
Leaving this mess behind
I hope you find
Peace too
This is the calm I wish you knew