For most of us today we feel the need to constantly prove to others that we are better then them. There is this unwritten rule where in life we must go further then our peers. I will admit I am guilty of this as well. But why do we do it? Is it just human nature or is does it stem from some trauma or maybe it is just to be the best.
Whatever the case may be this is how most of us live our lives in today’s society. Everyone is so quick to judge others by how they look or dress the way they talk or maybe by how white their teeth are. No one really stops and thinks about what this person may have gone through or where they have come from. A big part of that is because it makes people feel better about themselves when they can one up someone else.
Sad but true. I have been judged my entire life. It started when I was young and was in elementary school. My parents may not have been the best so there was judgment from teachers and other students. I honestly never felt like I fit in and was always running in that at race to. When I was 15 and pregnant it became even worse. It was people were either disgusted by my life choices or they felt sorry for me about the impending doom that was about to arrive of teenage motherhood.
After I had my first two children and would take them to doctors appointment’s the judgement was real there. “This girl has two kids at 17, she must be a troubled soul”. When Lexis was diagnosed with CP and had to have surgery and was in two leg casts I actually had people come up to us and ask how she broke her legs. I mean I get it but still.
The point of this is through it all, I was still me deep down but I would put on a smile for the world and whoever I was around I would be what they wanted me to. That got me through a big portion of my life. But at night when I would lay my head down I had dreams. They were nothing of the path I was living. I wanted more for my children. I would dream of a career and a house and an amazing husband who would be strong and loyal. I would dream of seeing the world or just anything outside of New Jersey.
Then the voices of everyone whos judged me and told me I couldn’t have that would creep in. I would hear “no, you can’t do that”. or “Look where you are from”. All the judgment from all those people stopped me for a long time. I don’t want that to be anyone else. I woke up one day and ran after my dreams.
Although, I am still working on them and I will never have a perfect life because let’s face it, who does, I am working on a life where others opinions just do not matter. I am getting there. I look a those who told me no and most of those people are still standing in the same place they were when I left. Not saying I am better then them just saying that instead of listening to those negative voices, hear you own. Hear you can and you will!
Today, I am in a very different stage in my life and have been able to be successful in my dreams. My dream job has just opened up to me. I have beaten many statistics, overcome hurtles and bounced back from severe trauma and still some were negative. That is always going to happen and when it does look at the source. Breath and keep pushing. There are always going to be “Crabs in a basket”! Always and that’s ok.
By the grace of God I am happy, healthy and have a full life with my dreams coming true and no matter what trauma no matter what pain or background you have you can have this too! If I can inspire just one person to push forward and go after their dream then I know my pain was for something!