One thing this year has taught me, is to follow what feels good, what feels aligned with your heart and spirit. Sadly, this year has taught me that there were quite a few things that I was holding on to that just weren’t in my best interest. It is often difficult to let go, like a child holding on to a favorite tattered blanket, that must eventually be replaced, we do not realize that there are better things out there for us. We tend to hold on far too tightly to what no longer serves us.
With the new year pending, we all need to do a little housecleaning, a bit of tidying up, sweeping out some of the dust bunnies of our soul, and clearing out cobwebs of people that we no longer really connect with. Let’s look in the corner, we all have those friends who we really don’t talk to, the social media buddies who have become ghosts and really don’t know us or visa versa, or those who have ghosted us, who for some odd reason, we cannot get down to the real human underneath the dark shadows of their life. Realize that this is their choice. I recently had someone who I thought was my best friend forever give me an odd and distant message, almost as if they never knew me, like it was coming from someone who I hadn’t known for several years. I have to admit, I was very taken back, because this person over the course of ten years, knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Perhaps, they were spaced out and tired, I am willing to give them the benefit of a doubt, but somehow, I guess I was disappointed in that ice-cold message, and this is what I mean about letting go of things and people who never quite tie together the loose ends of the string. That bow on the Christmas package is missing, there’s just paper and a card. Pretty, perhaps, but, I expected something more. I give my all when I truly care for someone, and you better believe, I wrap my words and actions up with the biggest bow that I can find, and make it beautiful for them so that they catch their breath and feel the love behind them.
In truth, I created my own disappointment. Because I had an attachment, I expected the same kind of response that I would give. That didn’t happen, and chances are unless I drop the expectation, it will happen again and again. This simple action led me to believe that there are other things that I need to look at in myself.
I’m leaving behind negativity, self-sabotage, attachment, and attempting to create a new mindset with the new year. I will accept what people choose to stay in my life and let those who do not contribute go. I will stop myself from being an over-achiever, be kinder to myself and not squelch who I really am to fit in with the popular kids. If people want to stay, fine, if they want to do their own thing, at the end of the day, I will give zero bothers, and no longer be disappointed. It is human nature and I will not take it personally.
If this year taught us anything, it was to not have expectations, because things can change suddenly. I will have the mindset of flow, to just accept what comes naturally, nothing forced, no pretenses, just truth. I will no longer hand over the keys to the kingdom to the Jester but wait for a King, but until then, I can hold court very well on my own. I need to remind myself of that. I will learn to trust fall into the mindset that the universe has me covered.