It’s taken me a long time to understand what it means to surround myself with the right people. In fact, it’s only very recently – over the last few years that I’ve expanded my awareness and can say that I get it.

When we’re young

When I was growing up, my parents would always say, “Choose your friends carefully” and there was never really an explanation behind it. No life experience as to why they said that or, what it actually meant.

In a way, I’m grateful that they allowed me to develop my own awareness into the understanding I now have.

When we’re young, we’re discovering life, so even if these profound nuggets of wisdom are shared with us, we may not get them at the time. It’s experience that brings us to learning.

Friendships and relationships can be superficial when we’re young. If we surround ourselves with people who are only interested in sex, drink, drugs and partying, then that’s the kind of energy we stay in. And that’s okay… it’s all a part of the experience of life. It’s a choice however, to operate at a different level.

Getting unstuck

It’s important to avoid getting stuck in that cycle and to spend time alone to understand where we’re at vibrationally. It allows us to take ownership of our lives for success and with intent. It allows our friendships and relationships to grow from shallow to purposeful as we become more aware of our own character and intention. It’s about learning who we are as individuals. And to surround ourselves with the right kind of people, we need an understanding of who we are and what we want.

Raising your vibration

High vibrational people have intent and purpose. They’ve developed a pure intention for themselves and others. They consciously choose to live away from the shadows of the ego, resentment and self-pity. They choose to be of service to others by consciously giving to themselves first, because they are aware that in order to give to others, they need to fill their own cup first.

What this means is that when they do give, there’s no room for resentment or “What about me?” The giving comes from a place of no expectation and pure intention, which naturally sits within a higher vibration.

What you see in others is a reflection

I saw this in a friend of mine – a friend who has inadvertently taught me about boundaries and to put myself first. A friend I’ve known for twenty years. We were catching up and something came up about someone we knew who had migrated to the States for a fresh start. She had been searching for someone to share her life with unsuccessfully for years and needed a new perspective.

Just then my friend said the most pure-intentioned thing, “Aww… she’s so lovely. I really hope she finds someone as beautiful as she is. She deserves it.” She wholeheartedly meant it. It wasn’t a wish for the sake of saying something kind, or because she wanted anyone in the group to see her in a particular way. I resonated with what she said, because it was a reflection of how I think and the wishes I share with the universe for others.

What we can learn from high-vibe people

They’re open, willing to learn, re-learn, adapt and continuously evolve – as long as it doesn’t go against their true purpose or essence. They’ve spent enough time alone and in reflection to learn what’s truly important. They also understand that identities and principles are flexible and subject to change as we grow, expand and transform. As long as their core values aren’t impacted.

We all have choices

A choice came my way recently to let someone into my life – someone who operates from a lower vibration. This person decided to call me after midnight after months on no contact. I chose not to respond when I saw the missed call the next morning. It was a conscious choice based on my values.

I have kept an unwritten rule for myself for years, which my friend of twenty years can vouch for. I’m not having a guy call me after 10pm in that type of situation. It’s unacceptable behaviour. Personally, it’s a matter of self-respect and value. It’s also about me choosing a higher vibration and understanding my worth. After a few episodes of my ignoring his call, he got the message and stopped. Had I entertained his behaviour from my lower self – my ego self – that wanted attention or company, I would have been lowering my own standards and saying that it’s okay to treat me like that.

I chose to operate from a higher vibration and this person slipped out of my life. It’s funny how things work actually, because a friend of mine came into my life at approximately the same time. Someone I have known for years.

This friend and I would talk about deep, soulful things all the time back in our twenties. I asked him what made him think about me and contact me after so many years. I told him that I’d thought about him a couple of days ago. He said, “You know what…I thought about you the day before yesterday but I didn’t have your number in this phone. So, yesterday I went to mums to get my old phone but by the time I charged it – it was like 11.30 at night, so I thought I’d wait for today.”

It’s poetic how when we choose to value ourselves, things that align with where we’re at come into our lives. When we live consciously, we start to see that we exude and attract that energy into our lives. Surrounding ourselves with people who value and respect themselves, who already know their purpose or are working towards discovering it, naturally motivates us to do the same and essentially, raise our vibration.