What does it mean to come into your true self? More importantly, if and when you get there, how in the world do you stay there?

I’ve been contemplating these questions for what feels like forever. While it sounds rather cliché to step into one’s true self, I’m learning it’s an empowering journey to travel on and a comforting place to land.

“Coming into our true selves” is a coming into or a rite of passage because it isn’t a standalone event that gets us there and it generally doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that requires unravelling the ways we think about ourselves and talk to ourselves. It requires us to shift our perception of who we believe we are and let go of the limitations we’ve attached to those beliefs.

Coming into your true self is like returning home. It’s going through a lifetime of stuff that breaks you down, and then little by little it’s opening your eyes and heart to how much more you are than the story you’ve been living. It’s returning to the spirit and essence of who you were when you were first born – now with a deeper understanding and depth of how precious and resilient you are.

This is a journey of accepting and loving ourselves as we are, with all of our stumbles, so-called mistakes, and imperfections.

Once you step into the light of your truth, it’s the “staying there” part that can be tricky. This is where the practice of living life from a fresh set of eyes, ears and deep faith in yourself begin.

These are some of the practices I use to stay connected to my true self. If they feel and sound like a fit for where you are on your life journey, try them out and see how they land.

1. Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life                                                                     

Making changes in our thoughts and how we see things, helps us change the way we feel about things. When more of our thinking is focused on what we do want than what we don’t, our lives start to shift.

The way we feel is a powerful indicator for the tenor of our thoughts. When I feel critical of myself and others, I don’t feel good and this feeling becomes a strong indicator it’s time to check in on my thoughts and stories. More often than not, it’s the tone of my thoughts creating the chatter and feelings that don’t sit well.

This awareness creates space to ask questions that help us move towards how we want to be feeling and living our lives.

Try it out. Next time you are feeling critical, judgmental, unhappy, resentful, jealous etc., see what happens when you ask yourself the following questions: What DO I want? Why is that important for me right now on my journey? What CAN I do that’s in my control to move closer to what I want?

Then fill up your “mind space” with new thoughts and answers to these questions and see how your feelings shift.

These may sound like straightforward questions, and that’s because they are. They are also quite powerful in helping create new ways of thinking. Over time and with practice, answering these questions becomes a direct way to connect back into your true self and change the way you write the story of your life.

2. You Are Enough

You are always enough. Often it’s bridging the gap between our perceived self and our true self that helps us land on the realization of how enough we really are.

When you need a reminder of your ‘enoughness’, step into the place where you fully believe in yourself. Maybe it’s in a certain relationship, in your workplace or while taking part in a hobby or activity. Whatever it is for you, recall a time in your life, recent or not, where you felt really strong in who you are. As you let that memory sink in, ask yourself: What is it about me in this state I admire the most?

Imagine what might happen when you begin to see the person you are in that place is the exact person you are in every place. Therefore, you are always worthy of love, praise, acceptance and feeling like you are enough. If you are on this human journey, that alone means you are enough.

3. Create Your Destiny

I’m more than likely dating myself by making reference to the Choose Your Own Adventure Game Books. For anyone unfamiliar, they were a series of children’s stories that were popular in the 1980’s and 1990’s. They basically gave the reader the ability to have choice on the main character’s actions and therefore the plot’s outcome.

I often think about the premise behind these books when I look at the role I play in creating the story of my life. I love the idea of remembering each of us have been given creative license to be the writers of our own destiny. In our thoughts, in our actions, in our beliefs and our choices – we are creators through and through.

We get to make choices along this journey that result in our own unique adventures. We all have an infinite number of choices in our lives, each decision takes us down a new path. When we realize the power in this, we can take steps (even small ones) towards the adventures that sit best with the truth of who we are.

What thoughts, choices and actions will you create for the adventure of your life?


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Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com


  • Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach, ACC with a BA in business and psychology. Emily is one of Thrive Global's Editors-at-large and a coach at BetterUp. She has published 11 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; TUT. com; Best Self Magazine; MindBodyGreen; The Muse; WellthyLiving.ca; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program offering courses that support others to create lasting habits around self-love, well-being and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: emilymadill.com