You are in class 4, and your parents are frequently taunting you in a lovely, sometimes in a horrible way. Since you are a mere child, your mind takes every word as a command, thus making you ready to enter the fiery ring of competition. At that time, you are not programmed to question; just accept what your parents say!
Exams are near, and one day your mother comes to you and says: “Listen Son! The first position must be yours no matter what! Study hard and score more than your cousin.”
Boom! You’ve lost the race even before stepping on the track!
Those warnings your parents used to give made you a robot that lives on competing with others. You grew up, and your programming of competition gets stronger. And the big loss is still yet to come!
In childhood, the context is limited not only to study but in sports, manners, clothing, house chores, literally in everything parents taunt you by comparing you to others. Least do they know that by competition & comparison,they are making your life worse!
You are a young adult now and about to graduate from high school. You have a habit of growing a sapling of hate for anyone who is doing better than you. You always compete with your classmates. You compare your possessions with others. And with time, your desires begin to overshadow your intellect.
Even though you won the second prize in the Mathematics competition, there is no sign of happiness on your face. The venom of competition has made you blind to only see what others have achieved. You are figuring out how that person has got the first prize. Instead of converting that negative energy into some productive activity, you direct the hate towards yourself, eventually getting distressed.
Same goes in your professional life. When your colleague buys a 2021 lavish car, your desires sting you again. You are low on budget, and your decision-making lacks foresight. Just to quench the thirst for competition, you buy a car in instalments that’s out of your range at the cost of your monthly savings, peace, and prosperity. You welcomed depression because you compared your less expensive car with your colleague’s costly car.
Now to balance your monthly budget, you have to work more than your capacity. You begin to lose your temper easily. Your employer pushes you to the wall, you have no more good relation with your spouse and children, and on top of that, you start feeling depressed. You become attached to your car so much that everyone has become unimportant to you. And if you sit alone and think who the actual culprit is, the answer will be you!
Just because of competition and comparing your life with others, your desires will ping you. You will ignore all rationality and accept what your desires want. And when the consequences occur, others will drown with you too!
Competition & Comparison Kill Talent!
Your kid will never realise the talent hidden inside him. Whatever skill he possesses, he will never know its worth. That kid only knows how to compete with others and compare things that others have.
With such kind of upbringing, your kid knows that the only reason to do something is the competition. Whenever you gift your kid, instead of thanking you, he will recall what his friends received on their birthdays. He will no doubt compare things, and if his heart did not accept that his gift is the best, you would then understand that you have created a monster that believes that only he deserves the best!
What’s the Root Cause?
Early childhood education that comes from the parents! The taunts of getting good marks than your cousin (competition) and playing better football than your teammates (comparison) lead to a disturbed life in the future. You can’t see someone superior to you in terms of mundane success. Whenever a person of your standard, even your friend, achieves something better, your desires start to control you. And that’s when the real chaos begins.
Parents must understand that every child in this universe is uniquely created. Even the twins share different fates, let alone your kid and his cousin. The poison of competition and comparison must not be injected for the worldly purpose but for the Divine purpose.
Teach your kids to be more pious, generous, honest, and obedient towards the commands of the Almighty. Give them lessons of how the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) of the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) used to compete in virtuous activities. Day and night, they never cease to win God’s will and mercy. Their comparison was in who gives the most in the way of Allah.
By doing that, your children will realise the true purpose of life, and they will see this world as a mere bus station. Their life will be balanced, prosperous, and peaceful. They will never compete with others in wealth and other luxuries, and the best part, they will deliver the same message to their progeny.