Self-confidence does not come by itself; you have to work on it. While very few people are born with limitless self-confidence, most people have to build it gradually over long periods. Self-confidence can also ebb and flow, leaving you high and dry when you need it most.  

But here’s the good news: Self-confidence is a skill that can be learned and developed. Here are some methods and techniques you can use right now to increase your self-confidence.  

Don’t try and use all these methods at once – you’ll end up overwhelmed. Instead, read through the list, noting the ones that resonate with you the most strongly. Then, armed with a much shorter list, start putting your chosen methods into action as soon as possible. And remember, practice makes perfect!
Take care of your appearance.  

You might never be a model or a glamorous movie star, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on your appearance. Instead, take time each day to groom yourself and wear flattering clothes that make you feel good. If you feel like you look good, your self-confidence will soar!  

Create a positive self-image of yourself.  

If you see yourself as dowdy, down-on-your-luck, lazy, or fearful, that’s how you act and feel. But, if you see yourself as happy, successful, energetic, and fearless, that’s how you’ll work. Rewrite your self-image to create a new, more confident you. 

Please think of this as a confidence mask that, once you’ve made it, the more often you wear it, the longer lasting its effects will be.  

Teach someone something.  

Boost your confidence in your abilities by sharing them with someone else. Teaching someone is very rewarding and will confirm that you do know what you are talking about. This will boost self-confidence in that particular area of your life which can then be directed towards other aspects. 

Think positive.

It’s straightforward to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If your mind is full of negative, fearful thoughts, you are more likely to be a negative person. Put the brakes on negative thoughts and make the switch to thinking positive. Replace that old, negative mindset with positive affirmations like: 
I AM good at my job.  
I CAN do this.  
I DO deserve to be happy.  
I AM successful.  
I DON’T quit.  

Expect success. 

You are much more likely to feel confident and booming if you expect things to go your way. This is a common characteristic among certain people. For example, if you are about to go and ask your boss for a pay rise, pretend to yourself that they have already said yes. This will improve your mood, boost your confidence, and make you seem like you deserve the extra pay. Use this simple tactic in any endeavor or attempt you make in your life to get something you want. Slowly, you will start seeing the positive results, and your subconscious mind will realize that you are a person for whom things work out best. 

Do your homework.

In any situation, you’ll have more self-confidence if you do your homework and are as well-prepared as possible. Unfortunately, most people who suffer from pre-exam nerves have not done the necessary work and know they are about to fail.  

However, if you have spent time practicing and preparing for whatever challenges you are about to face, you should feel much more confident and less nervous and perform better.  

Stand tall. 

How you stand (or sit) affects how you feel. If you adopt an upright posture, you will feel much more confident. In contrast, if you hunch and cringe, you will feel much less secure and may even feel fearful. Be aware of how you sit and stand, and make sure you consciously adopt a tall, open, confident posture.
Develop your skills. 

The better you do something, the more confident you will feel in your abilities. First, spend time developing your skills so that you know you are the right person for the job when the time comes to put them to work. Outdoor leadership is one such skill that can massively boost your confidence. Learning to tie ropes, knots, hooks, and other skills can be a confidence booster. To develop your skills, you can join a local meetup group, buy a book or course, talk to other adventurers, and soon see that many people can help you in your journey of acquiring a particular skill. And you’ll also be able to see how others struggle with confidence issues. This will be a great learning experience and an opportunity to connect with your community. 

Take pride in your achievements.  

If you do something well, and someone compliments you on your achievement, don’t be shy and shrug it off. Instead, thank them for their compliment and say, “Yes, I worked hard to do this, and it’s paid off.” This is much more empowering than the false modesty that many of us resort to. 

Set and achieve at least one goal per day.

Very few things boost self-confidence more than success. However, success can sometimes be elusive. Boost your self-confidence by setting and achieving at least one goal per day. For example, you could use an activity tracker and set the goal of walking 5,000 steps daily. This would be good for your health and your self-confidence.  

Treat obstacles as opportunities to prove yourself.  

When faced with something challenging to do, could you not treat it as a barrier or obstacle? Instead, treat it as an opportunity to learn new coping skills and prove that you are up to the task. People don’t run races because they are complex; they run them to measure their abilities. Treat challenging tasks the same way, remembering that you will develop your skills and learn something new, whatever the outcome.  

Scare yourself.  

Have you ever climbed a mountain and explored a deep cave? Jumped off a cliff into the sea? Have you been parachuting? No? Why not! 

Purposely scaring yourself is a great way to boost your self-confidence. After all, asking your boss for a promotion will be much less scary if you have jumped out of a plane. You’ll gain confidence knowing you have done something much harder in the past. 
Stop procrastinating.  

Nothing saps your self-confidence like putting off a task you don’t want to do. Before long, what should have been over and done ages ago is now a significant barrier. If you can’t overcome this obstacle, you may even become fearful, losing confidence in the process.  

Avoid this trap by not procrastinating. If a job you dread will take no more than 10-15 minutes, get up and do it right now. Get it done! You will not only feel relieved that you’ve completed it, but your confidence will also soar.   

Remember what you have done in the past. 

Self-confidence can dive when confronted with the unknown, but in adulthood, very few of our experiences are truly unique. Chances are, whatever you are trying to face down, you have already experienced something similar. 
It doesn’t matter what the outcome was last time; you have been there before. So if things don’t go your way, then feel confident you won’t make the same mistakes again. If something went your way last time, feel sure that you could do it again if you did it before. 

Either way, you should feel secure knowing you are on familiar ground. 

Create a network of positive support.  

No man is an island, a problem shared is a problem halved, two heads are better than one, misery loves company…! So many sayings suggest obstacles are overcome more easily when you don’t go it alone.  
Surround yourself with people who can help you with anything you find hard to accomplish alone. They could be co-workers with the expertise you lack or just a friend you can talk things over with. Knowing you aren’t on your own can help bolster your self-confidence.  

Be grateful.

Being grateful is an excellent way to remind yourself of the good things you have in your life. Remembering and focusing on goodwill remind you of everything you have achieved, boosting your self-confidence. By acknowledging and appreciating what you have, you can combat feelings of being incomplete and dissatisfied. 

Please list everything you are grateful for and revisit it anytime you feel your confidence needs a lift. Alternatively, list some things you are thankful for before you sleep, so you nod off feeling happy, even smiling.  

Self-confidence is your intrinsic belief in your abilities. It vanquishes fear and anxiety, so you are free to do your best without distraction. While some people are naturally confident, most need to work at it.  Use these methods to give your self-confidence the boost it needs to beat fear and anxiety!


  • Dr. Tomi Mitchell

    M.D | Leadership Coach| Wellness & Productivity Coach

    Dr. Tomi Mitchell Holistic Wellness Strategies

    Dr. Tomi Mitchell, MD, empowers executives, lawyers, doctors, business owners, and other leaders to eliminate burnout and increase workplace productivity and relationships.  She uses her three-step framework, Embrace, Evaluate & Energize, to empower her clients to have clarity. 

    As a public speaker and trainer, she brings energy to the crowd, captures their attention, and gives them clear, actionable steps to apply immediately to their life. Dr. Tomi Mitchell believes in getting to the root causes of life's challenges, instead of taking a temporary BandAid approach to life. She is a writer, with a book coming out in Summer 2023. She is also the host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show.  To learn more about her framework, check out the following link: Learn More.