In October 2020, as the world battled Covid, my body sent me a warning. My Apple watch alerted me to a racing heart—170 beats per minute while I was at rest. It was clear something was very wrong. I contacted my doctors, and after a series of tests, they confirmed it: my heart rhythm had shifted, I had atrial fibrillation. For years, I had been living with the heart condition hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, but this felt like a new and urgent phase.
At age thirty-seven, my doctors were suggesting a heart transplant, but I wasn’t ready. The average life expectancy post-transplant is only eleven years. Some beat the odds, but I wanted more time with my own heart. I struggled with the decision, knowing that my heart was slowly failing, yet holding on to the hope that I could manage it, that I could keep going.
In the months that followed, I had moments of doubt, fear and even joy. When I found myself able to ski again—something I thought my health might take from me—it gave me a glimmer of hope. But the reality was always there, lurking. The challenge of living with a failing heart is a constant tightrope walk, balancing between when to push forward and when to surrender to the inevitable.
As I was sitting waiting for the prognosis from the doctors, I knew I had to get this book on paper. The question I’ve had to wrestle with is: when is the right time to act? Not just with my health, but in life. Too often, we wait until something forces us to make a change. But what if we didn’t? What if we lived with intention, choosing to collide with the things that matter now, rather than waiting until it’s too late?
This book is my way of sharing that realisation. Life is fragile, unpredictable and often shorter than we expect. But we have the power to choose how we spend our time. I hope the stories inspire you to act now, to live fully, and to create and embrace the collisions that bring meaning to your life.
Thank you for reading and welcome to The Collision Code.
Introduction
Why do people connect?
What stops them connecting?
What happens when we connect?
Hi, I’m James, and I’m what people like to call a “people person”. For as long as I can remember, I’ve thrived on meeting others, learning their stories and discovering what makes them tick. But more than just enjoying these moments of interaction, I’ve been captivated by a bigger question: what really drives human connection?
As social beings, connection is hardwired into our very nature. Yet, in today’s fast-paced, hyper-digital world, we often find ourselves more disconnected than ever. It’s one of the great paradoxes of our time: while we’ve never been more virtually connected, many of us feel isolated, missing out on the rich, meaningful interactions that truly allow us to thrive. Loneliness, in fact, is becoming the next big epidemic—and I’m determined to change that.
Not just because I believe that connection is crucial to society’s happiness and wellbeing, though that’s certainly true. And not just because I’ve founded a successful business on this very premise, though that’s also a fact. But because connection has been the key to every meaningful opportunity and relationship I’ve ever had.
This book, then, is about the art of making connections—both in the literal sense of meeting and engaging with others, and in a broader sense, connecting the dots in life that can lead to greater opportunities. Most importantly, it’s about reconnecting with ourselves in a way that brings fulfilment and purpose.
My goal isn’t just for you to enjoy this book, but to find real value in it. I hope that by sharing my experiences, you’ll uncover your own path to new possibilities, richer relationships and a deeper sense of satisfaction in your life.
And more than that, I hope you’ll be inspired to take what you learn and pass it on. When we foster genuine connections, we open the door to incredible things, not just for ourselves, but for others too. Together, we can create a ripple effect of positive change.
So, thank you for choosing to spend your time with me. Let’s explore the power of connection—together.
Collisions?
No, this isn’t a book about crashes or anything else painful. Yet collisions really are at the heart of everything I want to tell you about. Given that, I want to start by defining how I think about this word, helping you to understand The Collision Code.
When two things collide, they take off in different directions. Think of balls on a snooker table. There’s the white ball heading along in a straight line, minding its own business until click, it hits a red ball. The red ball takes off somewhere new, and the white ball has its trajectory changed forever.
This is what I mean by collisions. Because this is what happens to all of us at one time or another, and it’s something I believe we should value and even seek to create more of. We move through life doing things, meeting people and going places and along the way we bump into other people doing things in their own way. That experience teaches us things, gives us new perspectives and presents opportunities. Or sometimes not. But without those collisions we’re just that white ball trundling along in one direction, potentially forever, with nothing to ever set us on a new course.
Collisions are not accidents. They are coded invitations to step into something greater.
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