I have dealt with failure my whole life. At birth I was designated as “failing.” Literally.

My maiden name is Failing.

Deborah Failing Munies This last name was punctuated especially when spelling it out for clarity…

“Yes…F – A – I – L – I – N – G. Failing. Just like failing in school. Deborah Failing.”

At a young age I didn’t really know the meaning of failure; I just knew it was something bad and I needed to succeed so others didn’t say “oh, Debbie Failing is failing.” Yes, I was once a Debbie (who wasn’t) and yes, at the start of each school year the teacher would make a joke about my last name or give me a knowing look.

So I got straight A’s, and went down the “perfect” path. (I will spare you the details but just imagine the goodie-goodie in the John Hughes movies. That was me.)

I went on to work for companies where failure was not an option. And I was rewarded well.

Then I took a leap and dared. I chose a new path. Day one of my coaching training they told us “It’s ok to suck.” I was in shock. “Um, did they just say what I think they just said?” They must be joking. What? I can fail?

I felt happy.



And more importantly…

I tried.

I tried to do new things because it was ok to. It felt like a new world. It was.

I tried, failed. I tried, I received validation. I tried and trusted myself. I tried and discovered new ways. I tried, and found new friends.

I felt the freedom to explore. This feeling of freedom allowed me to grow and become better and happier. When I had permission NOT to be perfect, it allowed me to actually become the me I wanted to be, a me who I could trust. Not a me dictated by a conventional society.

Are You “Failing”?

In your job, are you going along with the pack or sharing your insights? Are you trying a new approach to work balance or continuing to work late nights and eating bad takeout? Are you proposing that new position to your boss – the one you know would be great for the company and for you? Or are you sticking to the one where you’re the expert and it’s safe?

In your community, are you trying new ways to solve old problems or are you listening to others and going with the status quo because it’s easier than figuring out something better? Are you saying “things are fine,” because admitting you need to try and stand up for something is scary?

In your social media, do you share posts showing what you believe in, or those that conform to your “group”?

In your relationships, are you demanding they stay the same or do you encourage your loved ones to try something new and help them to grow?

In your family, are you demanding perfection from your children or challenging them to go for things they they love, even if it means they won’t be the best at it?

If you don’t try, you are failing to live.

Ways to Fail

In case you don’t know where to start failing, here’s an idea…

Have a conversation with your 90 year old self. What’s she pissed off about that you didn’t do?

Tell me how it goes.

Happy failing!

#failing #perfection #gobig #justtry

Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com


  • Deborah Munies

    Executive Coach for High Achieving Working Moms + Podcast Host "Let's Figure It Out"

     Deborah is an Executive Coach who works with high achieving, working moms, helping them to move forward professionally and create balance personally, so they can feel less overwhelmed and see new possibilities.  She is also an #IamRemarkable Facilitator. She has worked with CEOs, senior leadership teams, managers and entrepreneurs in Banking, Finance, Sales, Education, Marketing, Communications, Human Resources, and Wellness. Prior to starting her consulting practice, for over 20 years Deborah was the Corporate Communications leader at financial services and mergers and acquisitions organizations. She managed communications and marketing initiatives, and advised senior leaders on transition best practices, change management, and culture development; most notably with Lehman Brothers Mortgage pre and post bankruptcy.  Deborah has been featured in The Huffington Post, spotlighted in local news programs, and in 2018 she combined her coaching and broadcast journalism experience and launched the Apple podcast, Let's Figure It Out, where she inspires others with her real conversations with leaders and how to effect real change. She has a special place in her heart for supporting and encouraging young girls' self confidence. She is the founder of Can't Dimmer My Shimmer® - empowerment education for tween girls. Deborah works with individuals and groups, and speaks at organizations to inspire, motivate and encourage positivity, drawing from her own challenges and experiences. She also provides in-house workshops, retreats and webinars.   Deborah serves on the Board of Trustees for the New Providence Memorial Library and is the Coordinator for the New Providence Alliance managing the grant provisions from the Governor's Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse. Further information about Deborah Munies can be found at deborahmunies.com or on LinkedIn.