It may sound paradoxical but what if the path to enlightenment began with accepting our own insignificance? What if the drive to be “somebody” is what fuels our anxiety and depression?
As a therapist, I often see patients struggling under the weight of needing to feel significant. In helping them, I have found surprising common ground between three different traditions: the Buddhist concept of sunyata, philosopher Jean‑Paul Sartre’s idea of nothingness, and psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan’s notion of subjective destitution. Each challenges our attachment to self‑importance, not to erase the self but to free it. And far from espousing nihilism, each theory outlines a path towards freedom and authenticity.
We live in a culture that rewards visibility — likes, follows, and polished personal “brands” that we create mostly for social media. Most of us are conditioned to equate attention with worth, but this hunger for admiration often breeds alienation, resentment, frustration, jealousy, and disappointment — from others, and even from ourselves. What if well‑being doesn’t come from building shinier facades, but from loosening our holds on trying to be significant?
In Mahayana Buddhism, sunyata — often translated as “emptiness” — doesn’t mean that nothing matters. It means nothing exists with a permanent essence. Everything is constantly changing and without fixed self‑nature. Seeing through the illusion of an enduring, separate self can be liberating. If our identity is a fluid set of sensations and thoughts, we cannot be attached to our putative independence and meet others with more opennessand compassion.
Sartre described nothingness — le néant — as the space at the heart of consciousness. Nothing is predetermined; “existence precedes essence,” meaning that we create our “selves” (identities) through our choices. Nothingness is the basis of freedom as well as our anxiety, because there’s no permanent self to hold onto. Like Buddhism, Sartre’s philosophy undercuts the fantasy of a fixed identity. But instead of dissolving into interdependence, he invites us to stand in the openness and choose to be the authors of our lives.
Lacan spoke of the subjective destitution that occurs as the end of psychoanalysis. It’s the moment an analysand sees through the core illusions that organize their sense of self. Our identities are built from stories and images that we’ve learned to believe. Surrendering them doesn’t annihilate us; it deconstructs the ego and makes room for new ways of relating. In therapythis can be disorienting but it also allows for deeper, more flexible relationships, since we’re not defending fixed self‑images.
Despite their differences, sunyata, nothingness, and subjective destitution share key insights:
- The self is not fixed or permanent.
- Emptiness or lack is not a defect; it’s the starting point for freedom.
- Clinging to self‑importance fuels suffering and alienation.
- Letting go invites more responsible, authentic engagement with life.
Rejecting self‑importance doesn’t mean drifting into passivity or cynicism. These ideas can help us redirect our energy toward genuine connection and contribution:
- Serve compassionately: Let meaning come from helping others, not from seeking validation.
- Live your values quietly: Integrity matters more than applause.
- Build inclusive communities: Welcome people for who they are, not what they achieve.
- Support larger causes: Invest in the well‑being of the planet and others.
- Mentor without ownership: Share knowledge freely, without needing credit.
- Create as an offering: Let art or innovation enrich life, not your résumé.
- Listen deeply: Hear others without rushing to center yourself.
- Be present: Release preoccupation with recognition; focus on the moment at hand.
- Practice spontaneous kindness: Give without calculation.
- Stay vulnerable: Honest sharing fosters real connection.
Embracing emptiness — whether through sunyata, nothingness, or subjective destitution — is not the annihilation of self, but its liberation. Out of the dissolution of fictitious importance arises new capacities for authenticity, engagement, creativity, and compassion.