Imagine you are lying on the massage table of your chiropractor, he is adjusting your neck for the 100th time and suddenly asks you: Do you like coming home after a vacation? BAM!
This question blew my mind and I realized for the first time that I always crack my neck on the last leg of a flight, shortly before arriving home. It blew my mind and I was just happy lying there face down so that this man could not see the tears welling up. I barely could hold my sniffling in, but I guess he knew he poked into the wound–right into it and now I knew it too. I really did not like coming back to my daily life, with this job, this marriage, this city. My dream always was living by the beach and at that time my partner had held back moving away to realize a life close to a beach. I knew exactly where I wanted to be, where I thought I will be happy and could be myself. But it never happened. Almost 7 years in limbo, waiting for my partner to be ready to move, I was living a life that did not fulfill me. And now, with this question, I was sure that there was something really wrong in my life.
A few months later, my neck was fixed so far, the next vacation was on the list, this time alone, without my partner because we needed a break due to my unhappiness.
And guess what, I found myself sitting at a beach which I didn’t know existed, I had never heard about that island but I found an opportunity to learn the French language there which was always a dream of mine.
But then sitting there and gazing over the ocean, a very warm tingling feeling rose up in my heart, tears as well and I knew I had arrived home. I never had this feeling before, never had I felt at home in my body, in my mind, in my soul like at this beach. And so I knew I have to move here.
I started immediately making a list, what do I need to do to leave “my home-country”? We are speaking here of a move from a grey rainy city in Germany to a sunny and bright island with white sandy beaches and crystal clear water in the Caribbean.
What job could I do here?
How can I learn the language quickly?
Questions over questions blew through my mind and my brain was turning and running high on creativity.
Suddenly I was sure that the job I had (great salary, lots of responsibility, prestige, a job most people dream of), cannot be the only one the Universe kept in reserve for me.
The job I needed to create was one thing, but leaving my “at that time husband”, family, friends and so-to-say my comfort zone was another one. But this feeling inside was so strong and clear, that I knew I wanted to feel like this every day.
The fact the I had studied for an MBA and construction engineering gave me some security. I thought there are so many jobs I can do, but honestly, I also felt drawn to something totally different. I realized if I change so much, I also want to change my career, it is really the time for a total life-do-over. So I connected with my hobbies, something that I always loved and what lifted my mood even in my unhappy life was sports, fitness, yoga, pilates. In that area, I felt a real passion. Well, I thought, let’s do this, let’s figure out what is possible. And something was possible. I started working on my license as a Personal Fitness Coach, added other certificates in different sport and health areas, moved to the Caribbean as an intern to learn the language better and there it was, the opportunity to stay. What I have learned from this for myself and what I teach/coach/consult my clients today is:
- Connect with yourself and be honest: are you living your dream life? Are you happy and fulfilled?
- Feel what makes you happy, find the spot inside that sparkles!
- Figure out where and how you want to live, which lifestyle do you want to live?
- How do you want to feel in your daily life?
- Trust your feelings, emotions, and intuition!
- Get help if you have doubt, fear, guilt, anger etc. We all have it and those are the barriers where we are stuck. Feeling obligated to stay around our parents. Having fear trying something new because we were told that is not possible. Not wanting to be judged as crazy when we come up with our “extraordinary” ideas. Not having self-confidence, etc.
- It’s is possible to be happily divorced
- Live your dream life and everything will run smoothly.
Believe me. And your neck will be fine too.
Just in case you need some clarity on how to create your dream life, here is a worksheet for you. Allow yourself to live your best life.