How does your preferred love language impact on your creativity?
In this blog I’ll explore the ways our creativity combines and flourishes with our natural love languages.
Dr Gary Chapman PhD has identified 5 love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
On his website he explains these types in more detail and you can take a free quiz to find out yours. But I’ll guess you know the top couple that float your boat just by reading this list. Dr Chapman’s main idea is that we have a preferred way to receive love from others (in one of the five ways above). To build great relationships we have to know how our loved ones like to receive love; we need to know their love language. Then we use that language to communicate with them.
I read the book a few years ago and have used it quite a bit. I’ve been particularly aware of it in the last couple of months, as I’ve been in some big situations with loved ones. I’ve tried to read and understand their love languages and really thought about my own. Now this isn’t a relationship blog so here’s my thinking
Do we really know our own love language? And do we love ourselves in that language?
Why I think this is important is because creative activity is essentially a relationship with yourself. Creating anything, from music to tapestry, from food to software is just between you & you. Even in a group environment like choir or a duo the initial creation comes from within you, your head, your heart, your soul. Love has to come into that somewhere right?
So what would happen if you used your love language to make that creative time even deeper, more joyful and more aligned to your true self?
Here’s some ideas to try. Pick your love language and give it a go.
Words of affirmation
Set an intention before you start your creative work. Tell yourself how great you will feel, how positive this experience is and any other self-affirming things that resonate with you.
Create things you can share with others for positive feedback – maybe you love to create beautiful Instagram photos, or amazing blog content.
Actually create your own affirmation; hang it up, or listen to it, or act it out, or whatever suits you best!
An affirmation I painted for a commission
Acts of service
Be kind to yourself and make yourself feel special whilst creating. Make your favourite drink, make your space super-comfy, get some yummy snacks in.
Stop the interruptions. This is a hugely important act of service. Give yourself space to create, turn your phone off, put up a ‘do not disturb’ sign.
Leave yourself a little love note from your last creative session, so you find it and read it again before the next one. Tell yourself something loving and kind.
Maybe if you like to receive gifts you like to give them too – create a simple little thing to give to someone from the heart.
Give yourself a little treat, perhaps it’s a physical thing like a new pen or ball of yarn, maybe its’ something like a walk or 10 minutes of rocking out!
Set aside your own, uninterrupted time and make it happen. Put it in your diary, put it in your family’s diary. Set a lovely reminder that pops up on your phone.
Make sure your environment reflects how important this creative time is to you. Put on your favourite music, light a candle. Or maybe swap your usual place for a special ‘self-date’. Go outside or to a new place and experience it with your own sweet self.
Get hands on. Create something tactile, use a new material that feels unusual, drop the brushes in favour of your hands, or write your book with your toes delving into the grass in the garden.
Try sitting with your creative kit and lovingly touching it; feel those paintbrushes tickling your nose, or the smoothness of your guitar, push you hands into the bag of rice before you cook with it and feel the textures and patterns on your hands.
Give yourself a big hug, whenever you need it, but definitely at the start and end of your creative session, high-five yourself in the mirror, blow yourself a kiss.