In today’s fast-paced world, the significance of community cannot be overstated, especially when it comes to raising resilient and well-rounded children. Ashley Poklar, a dedicated child and adolescent psychologist, educator, and mother of four, understands this importance intimately. With her unique blend of professional expertise and personal experience, she advocates for fostering meaningful connections within families and communities. Through her work, Ashley empowers parents to cultivate environments where children can thrive, emphasizing the value of relationships in navigating life’s challenges.
In this engaging interview, Ashley shares her insights on the power of community, the impact of social connections on child development, and practical strategies for parents to strengthen their family bonds. With a focus on intentionality and open communication, she highlights how families can create supportive networks that not only enrich their lives but also contribute to the well-being of those around them. Join us as we explore Ashley’s wisdom and discover actionable steps to build a vibrant community that nurtures the next generation.
Thank you so much for joining us, Ashley! Our readers would love to get to know you better. Can you tell us a bit about your background?
Thank you! I’m a child and adolescent psychologist, but I started my career as a high school special education teacher. Now, I’m also a homeschooling mom to my four children, ages 10 to 14. Alongside homeschooling, I teach future psychologists at the doctoral and master’s levels. In addition to that, I work with a nonprofit that focuses on rescuing and supporting children affected by child sex trafficking and sexual exploitation. It’s a challenging but rewarding mission that fuels my passion for systemic change, particularly in creating safer environments for children.
That’s amazing! You mentioned that you wanted to discuss the power of community. Why do you think community is so important today?
Community is essential, especially in today’s fast-paced world where people can easily feel disconnected. As humans, we’re wired for social interaction. Research shows that strong social connections are a key indicator of longevity and happiness. In the work we do in Western North Carolina, supporting communities that have survived traumatic situations, we’ve seen how vital it is to help people not only survive but thrive through community bonds. When individuals come together, they create a support system that fosters healing and growth. Community is what helps us find purpose and belonging, which is crucial for emotional well-being.
You’ve worked extensively with communities affected by trauma. How can people build strong communities before they face challenges?
It’s about intentionality—building community requires effort. Whether it’s organizing a neighborhood event, joining local groups, or simply reaching out to someone, it starts with creating opportunities for connection. The key is to maintain those relationships over time, so when challenges do arise, you already have a solid support network. It’s about being proactive and nurturing those bonds in everyday life.
How do you think building strong community connections can help children, particularly in their development?
Children benefit immensely from being part of a supportive community. Having trusted adults outside of their immediate family—whether it’s a coach, teacher, or neighbor—helps them develop resilience and social skills. These role models provide guidance that children sometimes need outside of what their parents offer. Communities also allow children to explore their identities in a safe and nurturing environment, which is critical for their emotional and social development.
Speaking of children, how can parents help their kids navigate friendships and social connections?
It’s important to start those conversations early. Talk to your children about what it means to be a good friend and how certain relationships make them feel. Encourage them to reflect on whether their friendships are uplifting or draining. It’s okay to acknowledge that some friends may be going through a tough time and need more support, but it’s also essential to recognize when a relationship is one-sided. These discussions help children develop self-awareness and make better choices when it comes to their social circles.
Many parents struggle with peer influences that may not be positive. How can they guide their children through those situations?
Open, honest communication is key. Encourage your children to reflect on their interactions with their peers. Ask questions like, “How do you feel after spending time with this friend?” or “What do you enjoy about this friendship?” These reflective conversations help children evaluate their friendships and decide whether they align with their values. It’s about giving them the tools to make thoughtful decisions while respecting their autonomy.
What role do parents play in modeling positive social behavior for their children?
Self-reflection is a huge part of it. When parents observe behaviors in their children that frustrate them, it’s often a reflection of their own actions. If a parent doesn’t like how their child reacts to certain situations, they should take a moment to reflect on how they respond to similar situations themselves. It’s essential to model healthy behaviors, like managing stress or handling conflict constructively. Children learn a lot from observing how their parents navigate relationships and emotions.
What advice would you give to parents who want to strengthen their relationship with their children?
Intentional time together is key. Make sure to set aside regular, distraction-free moments to truly connect with your children. Whether it’s cooking, playing a game, or just going for a walk, shared activities help foster open communication and build trust. Consistency is crucial—children need to know they can count on that time with you. It creates a sense of security and deepens your bond over time.
How can families maintain those strong connections as children grow older?
Establishing family rituals is one of the best ways to keep those connections strong. Whether it’s a weekly game night, a monthly outing, or a Sunday dinner, these rituals create a sense of continuity and belonging. As children grow into adolescents and young adults, these traditions remain anchor points that keep them connected to the family. Even as they explore their independence, they’ll value and return to these family traditions.
How can parents encourage their children to get involved in community activities?
It starts with modeling. If parents are active in their communities, children will naturally see the value of being involved. You can also encourage children by finding activities that align with their interests, whether it’s a local sports team, an art class, or a volunteer opportunity. Help them see that by engaging with others, they are contributing to something bigger than themselves, which fosters a sense of purpose.
What are some creative ways families can bond and build community at the same time?
One unique idea is hosting neighborhood events, like a seasonal block party or a simple game night where everyone brings a dish. These events allow families to connect with their neighbors and build a local support network. Volunteering together as a family at local charities or shelters is another great way to strengthen family bonds while giving back to the community. These shared experiences teach empathy and create lasting memories.
How can parents get more involved in their local communities and set a positive example for their children?
Dive in and explore! Join local clubs, volunteer for community causes, or attend neighborhood events. These activities not only strengthen your own social network but also demonstrate to your children the importance of civic engagement and giving back. When children see their parents actively participating in the community, they’re more likely to follow suit and develop a sense of responsibility toward others.
In your experience, how can families overcome barriers to building a strong community?
The first step is recognizing that it takes effort and intentionality. We’re all busy, and it’s easy to feel too tired to connect with others. But even something as simple as hosting a small gathering or attending a local event can be a great start. If someone doesn’t respond to your outreach immediately, don’t get discouraged—try again. Building community requires persistence, but the benefits of a strong support network are worth the effort.
What advice would you give to parents who want to instill the importance of community in their children?
Involve them in community activities from a young age. Encourage them to participate in events, volunteer, and engage with others. Show them that being part of a community means giving as well as receiving. When children experience the positive impact they can have on others, they’re more likely to develop a lifelong commitment to contributing to their community.
Finally, what message would you like to leave with parents about the importance of community?
Building a strong community starts with us. As parents, we set the tone for our children’s relationships and social interactions. By prioritizing community and fostering meaningful connections, we create a ripple effect that not only benefits our children but also strengthens the community as a whole. It’s never too late to start, and the results are incredibly rewarding for both children and adults alike.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I invite everyone to visit my website, https://apoklarponders.org/, where you can find a treasure trove of resources, consultation services, and engaging articles on parenting and community building. I also encourage readers to check out the Sentinel Foundation to learn more about our work in combating child trafficking and supporting survivors. Together, we can make a difference!
That’s wonderful advice, Ashley! Thank you so much for sharing your insights with us today. Your passion for community and empowering families truly shines through. I know our readers will benefit greatly from your words.
It was my pleasure! Thank you for having me. I hope this conversation inspires families to take steps toward building stronger connections in their communities.