Do you know someone who challenges you?
We’ve all been there. A colleague who gets under our skin, a family member who knows how to push our buttons, or maybe even a friend who’s just… a lot.
Here’s the thing: the people who challenge us the most are often the ones who need us the most. But let’s be honest – it’s hard to see that when we’re stuck in our own assumptions and expectations.
We carry these mental snapshots of people – what they’ve said, how they’ve acted, what we think we know about them – and let those moments define who they are in our minds. And guess what? That gets in the way. Big time.
Here’s a game-changer: what if we hit the reset button? What if we interacted with them as if it was the very first time?
Seeing Through Fresh Eyes
This is more than a mindset shift; it’s a repeatable mindfulness practice that invites us to approach interactions with curiosity and openness, clearing the slate of assumptions each time. This idea ties in perfectly with the Zen Buddhist concept of Shoshin, or “beginner’s mind.”
Shoshin encourages us to approach interactions with openness, eagerness, and a lack of preconceptions, whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or the hundredth. It’s about seeing people and situations as they are in the moment – without the baggage of past experiences.
Option for Action:
This is so simple, and it works. Try it:
- Let go of assumptions.
Drop what you think you know about this person. Let go of the “They’re always like this” mindset. - Approach with openness and curiosity.
Pretend you’re meeting them for the first time. What would you notice? What would you ask? - See them in the present moment.
Focus on who they are right now. Not last week, not last year – right here, right now. - Be fully present.
Listen. Really listen. Watch closely. Be there, without distraction.
Why This Matters:
When we stop categorizing people as “difficult” or “challenging,” we make room for something new. We might see something we missed before. We might learn something. And most importantly, we create space for growth – both for them and for ourselves.
This practice isn’t just about others. It’s about us, too. It’s freeing to let go of the stories we’ve attached to people. It feels lighter. And in that space, there’s room for connection, understanding, and yes, even surprise.
Your Invitation:
Try it today. With a family member, a friend, a colleague – anyone you know. See them as if it’s the first time. Get curious. Let the labels go. You might be amazed by what you discover.
In gratitude,
Lainie