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Dating in Isolation

Finding connection in a time of self quarantining.
Denise Albert

Denise Albert

5 Min Read

I’ve been on a self imposed quarantine about writing about my dating life.  I’ve told myself for years if I write about dating I become undateable.

It’s not easy to shut myself up.  I’ve written and shared so much about my life in the 10 years since the birth of my media and event company, The MOMS.  I wrote a series about divorce called The Divorce Diaries for The Huffington Post. My outlook was positive and the messages were often approved by my ex-husband.  The pieces were about…amicable divorce, not calling me a single mom since my kids have a dad, learning to be interested in things we used to divide up, like finance, and sharing what the experts may not tell you.

I shared about parenting, my truth about disliking being pregnant, how work trips can feel like vacation and any relevant, and what I like to think was bold in our Moms and The City column at Metro newspapers and our NBC digital TV show.  I’ve been called upon by national TV networks and TV shows to talk about parenting or things in the news that relate to being a mom.

I shared my Cancer Journey online at People.com and GoodHousekeeping.com.  I’ve written about Solo Travelling for Yahoo, my horrific experience with the TSA, and shared about my on-going struggle with my newly grown hair and comfort with my wigs.

But I haven’t written about dating!  I only shared about this once or twice when I was in a long-term relationship.  I haven’t felt comfortable sharing more about that relationship yet but I will one day share my wisdom and warning signs about relationships that are unhealthy, and potentially harmful.  I’ll share why and how to get out when you think you can’t or aren’t strong enough.

When I share it’s because I truly feel that it could help someone.  It could inspire someone. It could wake someone up. It could connect people.  It could provide comfort for someone. 

I’ve been asked to speak at Yankee Hall of Famer Mariano Rivera’s charity dinner and a Women’s Empowerment event at the UN and spoke about how sharing helped me survive.  I shared how the community of people around the country kept me alive. I shared about how it perhaps can help others to share. I’ve compared my cancer journey and the joy of fans cheering me on to what I imagine a sports star feels like in a full stadium or arena.

Despite all this I have never shared my experiences about dating. Who would want to date me knowing it may not be authentic.  Who would date me for fear of being a subject.

It took a while, after a traumatic relationship and breakup, but I eventually felt comfortable to start dating again.  It took some time. It wasn’t easy getting back in. It certainly wasn’t easy to get back in as a cancer survivor. It wasn’t easy getting back on the apps after so long.  It wasn’t easy sharing with my community that I’m available to be set up. It’s not easy getting comfortable with my new shaplier survivor body. It’s not easy sharing all about my lumpectomy, my dented left breast, and my ovaries’ removal and menopause. (But hey, at least that part and all of its moods and adjustments are behind me 🙂

I was ready.  I enjoyed my freedom.  I loved the adventures I was starting to take. I crave connection. 

I was starting to do it all again.  I was finally feeling like a catch again. 

I went out with people who already knew my story and my journey and were amazingly unfazed.

I went out with others who knew nothing and were interested, interesting and supportive. 

I met some new men who weren’t the right fit but I was grateful for the experience.  Some who are now friends.

I was also recently blown off after 1 drink.   He looked at his phone and said his elderly dad needed him.  I never had that happen before. Maybe I was too much for him.  Maybe he wasn’t attracted. Maybe my wig honesty was more than he could handle.  Or maybe he just didn’t like me. But I enjoyed knowing that and moving on to the next.

Just weeks ago I met someone and went on back to back dates and would have loved a third.  Any chance of that was immediately corona-cancelled.

So what now in this age of coronavirus? Facetime drinks?  Phone friendships? Toneless texting? Web wooing? Going Social Media Steady? Tik Tok Tangos? 

How long will it last?  What happens when it’s over?  Will any of the Corona-Courting communication bring real life companionship?

I don’t know.  I guess I have plenty of time to try it all.

Author(s)

  • Denise Albert

    Co-Founder

    The MOMS & Mamarazzi

    Denise Albert is an award-winning journalist, television producer and Co-Founder of The MOMS (TheMOMS.com‬) and Mamarazzi Celebrity Events.  She is a Journalist, Cancer Survivor and Activist.  Denise is a Former Producer at Good Morning America, and Former President and Executive Producer at David Blaine Productions.   She was the Co-Host of MOMS & The City on NBC's Digital Television Platform and Co-Host of The MOMS on SiriusXM Radio and Mamarazzi on People.com. The MOMS created the first ever mom-focused town hall series called Mamarazzi. The ever-popular Mamarazzi® events give influential moms and media access to celebrities in a town-hall discussion while partnering with top consumer brands.  Mamarazzi guests have included Emmy and Oscar winners, Sarah Jessica Parker, Will Smith, Nicole Kidman, Tina Fey, Hugh Jackman and Goldie Hawn.  To date she has executed over 300 Mamarazzi events.   Albert is also an Advocate for Breast Cancer and has shared her story on People.com and had an on-going series at GoodHousekeeping.com.  Denise speaks at Medical Conferences, Charity Events and other organizations on a variety of topics about her journey including alongside Mariano Rivera as keynote for his recent charity event.   When Denise was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December, 2015, she felt lucky to be diagnosed early after she found a lump just months after a mammography (she had received a letter saying it was normal but didn't read further to see that it said she had dense breasts and may want further testing).  She had a lumpectomy in January and was fortunate enough to share her story on People.com‬.  Denise used social media and her platforms with The MOMS along with an ongoing series at GoodHousekeeping.com‬ to continue to write about her journey.  ‬‬‬‬‬‬   Denise's video with the TSA after a horrific experience at LAX went viral and Denise is using that to educate others on the best ways to travel with illness.  Denise is in touch with hundreds of patients and families across the country and believes this answers the "why me?" and is passionate about raising awareness for Breast Cancer and helping others.    The MOMS created, produced and hosted, Strut, The Fashionable Mom Show that presented three times at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center.  Denise contributed to The Huffington Post Parents and The Huffington Post Divorce, where she wrote a series called, "Divorce Diaries". Denise previously served as a feature reporter for NBA-TV and a producer at Inside Edition.  Denise is a better mom because she works and a better worker because she’s a mom. She lives in NYC with her two boys, Jaron and Jaylan.