During the Valentine’s Day episode, you said that you wanted to “salute all the fat chicks out there celebrating their true love today which is food. You may be single now but you’ll catch mad discounts on chocolate tomorrow.”

Charlamagne, I do not believe that you intended to insult more endowed women by calling us “fat chicks.” That said, you do not seem to appreciate the gravity of your remarks. You are also blithely unaware of the fact that for this “fat chick” and those like me your comments have consequences that extend beyond an episode of The Breakfast Club. Loving good food that sustains and nourishes the body is not wrong. Challenges arise when anyone consumes excessive amounts of any food be they overweight, skinny, or otherwise.

I am a disordered eater who uses food and excess weight as a protective hedge against further trauma. I believe, quite wrongly, that my excess weight allows me to hide in plain sight. There are many so called “fat chicks” who use food and weight for the same reason. In some instances this behavior runs deep enough to constitute a serious and sometimes life threatening eating disorder.

Breaking the pattern of my disordered eating has been a process that requires me to completely dig up and remove all traces of the lies that I accepted about myself. The lie that I am just an ugly girl unworthy of any expression of loving kindness. The lie that my physical body is merely an object to be abused instead of a sacred vessel deserving of protection. These lies have haunted me for as long as I can remember. I have repeatedly cast these lies off only for a triggering event to bring them roaring back.

Charlamagne, as an radio personality and provocateur you know that words are powerful. I am certain that you do not want to say anything that only serves to trigger disordered behaviors or reinforce negative stereotypes about so called “fat chicks.” Going forward I challenge you to be provocative and mindful about what you say.

As for me, I am on an exciting journey of discovery and healing where my weight loss is the byproduct of hard work. So, Charlamagne Tha God I am not a fat chick searching for mad discounts on chocolate. I am a woman working to live my best life.

For more information about women and food I suggest the following all by Geneen Roth:

Women Food and God

Feeding the Hungry Heart

When Food Is Love

Breaking Free From Emotional Eating

For help with an eating disorder contact the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at: 1 (800) 931–2237

Originally published at medium.com