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Who Will I Become When Life Begins Again?

This experience has forever changed me — the person I was may look a little different after quarantine.
Denise Albert

Denise Albert

4 Min Read

I never thought I would say this.  I don’t miss my old life so much.  I don’t miss the hustle and bustle of NYC that I used to thrive in.  

I’m wondering who I now am? I’m wondering who I am becoming?  They are questions I have often thought about.  I thought about it when I got divorced. I thought a lot about it during my Cancer journey.  I thought about it throughout my three-year battle that included treatments, side effects, and so many challenges and complications.  I thought I found myself after all of that and after a horrible breakup.   I, for sure, thought I found myself through a four week mostly solo international travel experience last summer. 

Now this.  I’m living with my ex, his wife, her ex and kids.  I’ve now thought about who I will become after all of this ends.  Where will we go from here?  Is it safe to go home?  How will that work?  How will it mirror our old life and combine our new life?

  • Unique Blended Family of Exes

I do miss the people from before.  I miss the connections.  I miss dinners with friends.  I miss walks and time with my mom. I miss random run-ins on the street.  I miss being in a sweaty room at Soul Cycle with people I’m used to seeing multiple times each week.  I miss going on dates.  I miss meeting new people.  I miss my in-person work events.   I miss real school and my kids basketball coaches and teams.  I miss seeing friends at games. I miss touch. 

I wonder when this is over, will I miss my ex-husband?   Will I miss living and working out every day with his wife?  Will I miss her ex-husband and their daughters?  Will I miss being with kids all day long?  Will I miss the life of the past few months that has been a beautiful mix of randomness, uncomfortableness and loneliness combined with a full house filled with daily fun-filled bizarrely blended daily family activities and dinners. Will I miss calm country walks and deep phone talks?  Will I miss the quiet time and the endless availability of conversation?  Will I miss waking up to the smell of coffee already brewing and the country views?  Will I miss cooking for a full house? Will I miss the craziness of quarantine or crave the quiet?

  • Albert cooking for large blended family

As a divorced mom who loves people and connection and comes from a big family, is there something to co-living?  As a busy working mom who has never wanted to cook, will I continue to enjoy time spent in the kitchen experimenting and the joy of others loving my creations?  How will I continue bonding over new at-home experiences with others?   How will we remember to walk around when it isn’t about getting from one place to another.   

Virtual happy hours with friends have become more purposeful.  Meetings for work are thoughtful and more meaningful than ever.  Distance dating requires getting to know someone in a way we haven’t done before.  Kids are connecting, running and laughing without technology.  

Everything is deep and deliberate.  Life is different.  I don’t want it to be the same.  I am excited to see who we all become.

Author(s)

  • Denise Albert

    Co-Founder

    The MOMS & Mamarazzi

    Denise Albert is an award-winning journalist, television producer and Co-Founder of The MOMS (TheMOMS.com‬) and Mamarazzi Celebrity Events.  She is a Journalist, Cancer Survivor and Activist.  Denise is a Former Producer at Good Morning America, and Former President and Executive Producer at David Blaine Productions.   She was the Co-Host of MOMS & The City on NBC's Digital Television Platform and Co-Host of The MOMS on SiriusXM Radio and Mamarazzi on People.com. The MOMS created the first ever mom-focused town hall series called Mamarazzi. The ever-popular Mamarazzi® events give influential moms and media access to celebrities in a town-hall discussion while partnering with top consumer brands.  Mamarazzi guests have included Emmy and Oscar winners, Sarah Jessica Parker, Will Smith, Nicole Kidman, Tina Fey, Hugh Jackman and Goldie Hawn.  To date she has executed over 300 Mamarazzi events.   Albert is also an Advocate for Breast Cancer and has shared her story on People.com and had an on-going series at GoodHousekeeping.com.  Denise speaks at Medical Conferences, Charity Events and other organizations on a variety of topics about her journey including alongside Mariano Rivera as keynote for his recent charity event.   When Denise was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December, 2015, she felt lucky to be diagnosed early after she found a lump just months after a mammography (she had received a letter saying it was normal but didn't read further to see that it said she had dense breasts and may want further testing).  She had a lumpectomy in January and was fortunate enough to share her story on People.com‬.  Denise used social media and her platforms with The MOMS along with an ongoing series at GoodHousekeeping.com‬ to continue to write about her journey.  ‬‬‬‬‬‬   Denise's video with the TSA after a horrific experience at LAX went viral and Denise is using that to educate others on the best ways to travel with illness.  Denise is in touch with hundreds of patients and families across the country and believes this answers the "why me?" and is passionate about raising awareness for Breast Cancer and helping others.    The MOMS created, produced and hosted, Strut, The Fashionable Mom Show that presented three times at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center.  Denise contributed to The Huffington Post Parents and The Huffington Post Divorce, where she wrote a series called, "Divorce Diaries". Denise previously served as a feature reporter for NBA-TV and a producer at Inside Edition.  Denise is a better mom because she works and a better worker because she’s a mom. She lives in NYC with her two boys, Jaron and Jaylan.