My Mom was 34 when she died, leaving an 11 month old baby, a 3 year old toddler and me age 14. I became a surrogate Mom, unqualified and not equipped for the changes I was to encounter. I never developed a healthy mindset; was always looking for someone to make me happy; someone to fill the void that was created that life-changing October day. Emotionally damaged, I made mistake after mistake. Eventually with 3 children of my own and 2 divorces there came an awakening. I could not allow the pain to prevent me and those in my care from having a chance at a good life. It was a slow process but gradually I began to take responsibility for all the negative happenings in my life. I learned how to take control of me and my actions. Not what came at me, life is always full of challenges, but how I responded. I read and gained knowledge and learned how to make wise choices for me and my family. The final catalyst to my healing was creating books and advice for others so they could believe that if I, an ordinary woman, could change my life from despair to happiness and success, they could as well. I built a loving relationship, achieved at the highest career levels and learned to appreciate that many of us have our own demons and it is us to us to silence to voice of fear. The pain erupts some days, but I can handle it now.