It didn’t take long after I lost my beloved dad last year, before I saw things. Noticed special moments. Like really stopped and took note. Maybe it was and is because I miss him so much it aches heavy in my heart, or maybe because those things I noticed were actually signs there and and are from him. The answer depends on a variety of factors, such as, who you talk to, your spiritual history and experiences, your religious affiliation, societal norms, your pain, your moods and more. For me, there have been more than a few times where I was one hundred percent convinced I was experiencing a sign from my dad.

Have you ever noticed a random dime across your path which seemingly appeared out of nowhere? Like it was dropped subtly from up above? Have you ever suddenly found yourself in the company of a stranger who reminded you of your lost loved one, maybe even shared the same name, the same twinkle in their eye, their same smart wit, or mannerisms? Have you ever been drawn to a total stranger for no reason at all? Perhaps you’ve had someone in your life tell you they’ve dreamt of you and called, texted, messaged to check to see if you were okay and all was well?

Or what about when you are in the warm, feel good company of a group of positive friends and are actually talking about your wonders, your suspicions about something more than us here on earth, about your lost loved ones, and suddenly you all experience a visit, a hello, a sign, a shiver, or a feeling that solidifies there are matters way deeper than coincidences?

Just today as a matter of fact, as I was on my walk outside, along the lake (and I purposely chose that path today because it makes me feel closer to my dad who absolutely loved that part of town), I was finally breaking a good sweat hummin’ to the sound of my tunes blaring in my ear, finally finding my oh so good stride, (it takes longer for me now that I’m feeling aging more…but that’s for another blog topic!) and suddenly it hit me. There in my path was a landscaping truck with its employees grooming the grass around me and it really hit me. The sharp smell of freshly cut grass on a hot summer day. Just a second before that I was gleefully jammin’ to CardiB’s ‘I Like It Like That,’ feeling that ‘I surely feel better than I look’ swagger you know what I mean, (when you think and feel you look like Beyonce dancin’ until you catch a real glimpse of yourself in a mirror, or a window, then ya…I’m def not B today). And suddenly tears well up in my eyes and I literally call out my dad’s name.

That smell of fresh green, slightly dewy, summer grass brought me right back in time to our childhood home -to 13- to my 8 year old self, on the front yard dancin’ barefoot with short shorts, licking a melted popsicle, and my dad in his white wife beater, with thick gold chain hanging, pushing his manual-so damn hard- to push lawnmower, mowing the lawn. I could remember the feeling, the smells, the sounds, and mostly, the love. I could recall him yelling over the loud, ‘time-to-get-a new-automatic -lawnmower -please dad, motor’ to hurry and get out of his way before he turns the corner and whacks me with the thrown grass shavings propelling, almost hurling out of the ”you don’t have to push a whale every time you mow’ lawnmower.

And as my teary eyes almost just almost turned into one hell of an ugly cry, (thank God for shades), a buzzin’ dragonfly appeared smack in front of my face. It first was real close to my face then seemed to back himself up a bit so that I could get a real good look and check it was in fact a dragonfly. Almost like it was saying “Hey, over here! Look me over! Allow your doubting mind Thomas to process. Yes, I am what you think I am.” And then it twirled a bit in front of me back and forth and back and then flew away slowly. I stopped. I walked backward trying to follow it. I called out my dad’s name. I tried to hide my tears from the passing cars probably wondering what the hell this lady was doing walking back and forth staring off into the distance. Again, thank God for big dark sunglasses. And then I remembered a lovely lady who once told me to watch out for dragonflies (specifically red and black ones) as perhaps that would be one of dad’s signs to me. Well this one wasn’t red but it was a bright orange and black. Good enough. I’ll take it thank you. I picked up my pace toward my parents’ home feeling better than when I started.

So, I don’t know if the dragonfly visitor was sent by dad, just like I don’t know for sure if the dimes I have found just when and where I needed them are from him. Nor do I know for a hundred percent sure if the many dreams, the visitations, oh and the crazzzzy literal bright shining morning star sign (this needs its own blog entirely) I once received are from him or not. Perhaps my eyes from my recently concussed brain are playing tricks on me. Perhaps my broken heart from his loss is forcing me to see things. Or perhaps my mind, too wondering, too curious, too open, is leading me in that direction. Or, maybe as just this afternoon, I needed a buzzing insect to almost poke me in my eye before I come to understand that lost loved ones are still here with us~ their energy can be felt as long as you open your doubting Thomas mind and welcome them into your mostly healed sometimes aching heart. Now is the time to heal thy self so that I can share and heal others along my path, with yes, help from high up above, including the most unusual, bright, and striking morning star. Peace to you my own nijmah in the sky (morning star).

Dragonflies, dimes, stars, butterflies, they all are a part of the same language. Love knows no earthly boundaries. It transcends. So, if believing these and others are signs from great loves makes you a better person, then go ahead and believe and heck even make that wish to really look like Queen B when you shake it and dance as you do!

Mona George Taouil