We believe that we are free thinkers and make our own decisions in life, but in actual fact, we are programmed at an early age by society. The place and the circumstances under which we grow up have a big impact on our thinking and what we believe to be true because humans have the desire to be similar to other people. Social conditioning happens on many different levels and is a certain type of norms or rules which are considered acceptable in a certain society, for example to look a certain way or to work a certain way, girls are brought up differently from boys and teachers have a big influence on how children see the world. Based on our choices we all create our own reality and when we decide to be different or to state another opinion, we may become unpopular or even left out. Especially at a young age, we all want to fit in. This is probably the main reason why many people go with the flow of judging others or being racist. Most people stay sheep all their life and follow the herd’s desire.

By all means we cannot ignore our social conditioning and no matter how evolved our consciousness is, we are all somehow conditioned and it is important to be aware of it but not allow it to rule us. Everyone wants to be accepted by society however there are certain ways of thinking that may not be useful to us because we know that our beliefs create our reality. We will then have to question if we really want to stay under the constraints of social conditioning or if we want to live how we want to live and like what we want to like.

One of the most relieving feelings in life is when we stop caring about what other people think of us and when we stop comparing ourselves to others. When we start watching media from a different angle or when we speak out when we see something that we don’t agree with. Breaking free from conditioning and living by our own rules may be the first step to true happiness. Respecting other people’s differences and embracing our similarities are a good way to start.


  • Elisabeth Villiger Toufexis

    Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Author, Motivational Speaker

    I am the author of the book “The Soul Kit” and a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Motivational Speaker. My life purpose is to add value to people’s lives and brighten the path of those who are a little lost in the dark.  I am originally from Switzerland but live in Cyprus with my husband, and we have two grown up children. I speak 6 languages and also work as an interpreter. I found out very early in life that if we want to achieve something, we have to take action and not wait for someone else to do it for us. Life doesn't happen to us, we make it happen. I had a bit of a tough beginning, my mother was 16 years old when she gave birth to me and wanted to give me up for adoption, my grandfather insisted to take me home and I grew up with my grandparents but unfortunately when I was 10 years old, my grandfather died. I felt a lot of insecurity and shame and spent many years feeling quite lost and worth less than others but was determined to achieve something in my life. When I started understanding that we are in charge of our life and that it’s entirely up to us how we want to create it and that we must never allow our past to define our future, I started creating a wonderful life for myself. As a young woman, I worked as a tour guide in many different countries all over the world and learned about other cultures and mentalities, I learned that even though we may look different and speak different languages, we are all the same, with the same needs, wishes and dreams, and that we all have the need for safety and happiness. I have travelled to over a hundred countries, and I love to get to know people, appreciating similarities and respecting differences while bringing out the best in each other.