It is always difficult to face that realization that maybe someone doesn’t quite care in the manner that we do. You get the jest, the signals are all there, that awkward feeling, sometimes cringeworthy, we get the shrug of indifference, or worse yet, you’re feeling ignored.
It’s frustrating. Our thoughts turn to them, we often pick up the phone, but put it down with a sigh, knowing that a text message would probably be left on read anyway.
What are the best steps to take when attempting to deal with silence, or simply put, technical difficulties in communicating?
First, make sure that you are not misreading or misjudging anyone, sometimes, our own feelings get in the way and that might not be the case at all. They could be busy, they may be dealing with something in their life that takes precedence or they may not be able to devote as much time as we would like to a friendship or relationship.
Next, simply ask where you stand, check in with them, you don’t have to ask outright, but you can let them know that you’re here should they like to talk or need assistance, generally, people will at least give you a breadcrumb as to where you are in relation to them. You don’t have to be forceful, use a bit of tact.
Lastly, if they truly have written you off, they are no longer responding, are distant, then you will need to stop jumping when they will not put the effort into jumping for you. You must distance yourself as well; as a friend or whatever, you will probably always care about their well being, as that is what good friends do, but for your own sake, wish them the best (yes, really) and just detach and find people who do appreciate what you have to bring and put positive energy back in your life and those with whom there is an even exchange with.
Little by little, those people who have shown us that they “do not care” will fade into the distance.
Healthy relationships involve two, without technical difficulties.