Who knew that last week’s newsletter would cause such a response!
Some of you loved it and the twist in language created an entirely new perspective. It was their ‘Ah-Ha’ moment. A few felt a little perturbed by the shift from attributing reasoning to things out of our control back to yourself. Specifically, when there was, as they put it, “just cause” for that perspective.
I don’t deny that other people and our environments have an impact. Of course they do. My point is to focus on what you can control.
One of the things you can control is your word choice, which is what I wrote about last week. Selecting active neutral or positive language and understanding how our words impact how others receive our communication.
There is also an implication for how we talk to ourselves. We already know that we can be really mean to ourselves. But we also believe in our own self talk. We influence our own thinking with our word choice. So here is a friendly reminder to, as I wrote in chapter 2 of The 11 Laws of Likability, Be Your Own Best Friend!
But I digress, what got people was when I wrote about active versus passive questions and how that impacts our blaming the environment versus individual accountability for whatever’s happening.
This reminded me of a question I ask in my Managing For Excellence program.
True or False: I can motivate others.
It is a bit of a trick question that usually gets about half the audience to say ‘True.’ This is the motivation myth. As a leader, I have to break it to you, you really can’t motivate anybody else. Motivation is an intrinsic emotion.
So, the question for leaders is…
How do I create an environment in which my employees can self-motivate?
That’s where the active questions from Marshall Goldsmith’s book, Triggers, come into play. Each of us can ask ourselves these daily questions to engage in actionable thinking, self-motivation, and accountability. As leaders, you can do this with your team.
The six active questions are:
- Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
- Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today?
- Did I do my best to find meaning today?
- Did I do my best to be happy today?
- Did I do my best to build positive relationships today?
- Did I do my best to be fully engaged today?
Marshall Goldsmith’s research showed that when you ask yourself active questions about the things that you want to be different, with a sense of self responsibility, you have made the shift to improve those things that you have put as priorities.
I loved hearing that there’s research behind the belief I’ve always had. I have often said, “If you’re disengaged at work, don’t blame the company, blame yourself.”
How will you engage yourself?