A friend of mine, intelligent and handsome man, happens to be a connoisseur of many fields. Sought after by many ladies, he was settled down with his love for almost half a decade. The love was at the peak and everything seemed like a fairy tale until one day when things turned acidic. And they broke up!

Almost 2 fulfilled years have passed and the shadow of that girl has found an exit from our sphere, but not from my friend’s heart. He is still the same man who never forget to recall her in the intricacies of life. He says that he misses her absence like waking up one morning and not finding your teeth — you didn’t need to see it in the mirror.

I couldn’t help but wonder whether moving on exists after a breakup or not?

I know breakups are hard where you imagine the other person your whole life but they respond like it was just an episode for them. You feel a lot of pain and you think you can handle, but you can’t?

Breakups are messy inside out and around with the loop of self-misery and prolonged moments of numbness.

Conversing with a colleague the other day, he said that chances of moving on depend on how concrete was the love! Though I think every love is enough concrete and that is why we call it love! Still, some people can move on and some cannot? Is it because they don’t want to or their love was stronger than rest of others? They say that there is only one great love in your life, is it?

Subjective, isn’t it? After sinking enough in the flood of betrayal and bad blood, what is the point of worshipping that great love which didn’t sustain? If love ceased then it was never great and if it’d have been great then it’d have never ceased. I know that you’ve invested a part of yours so what?

I have friends who say that what they had with them cannot be constructed again. Obviously not as everyone is different. Though you can surely have better or may be great if you give yourself one more try.

I think we are so obsessed with the idea of carrying the remains of the other person that we completely forget about us. I have come across people who carry that baggage and tries to find someone to replace. Nobody can substitute anybody, period. Why cannot we be just selfish sometimes and give us a chance to start fresh?

You never know who may stumble across and it might be an another great love! As love is something which keeps our existence alive even after death.

For me, love for self is stronger than any love a human can have. Sounds selfish? Wait till you judge me. I’ve always put the idea of self-love on the pedestal and if you love yourself and think yourself worthy of another chance then moving on surely exists.

Or maybe I am a narcissist who thinks about himself only. Does it make me incapable of love? I don’t think so. Does it make me capable of loving thyself? Yes, absolutely. Long before, witnessing the sunset on the beach I realised we all are our own saviour. And hence moving on exists for me as I believe in giving myself a fresh sunshine even after the apocalypse of sadness and distress.

Can you do the same?

Originally published at Jay Sitapara‘s blog.


  • Jay Sitapara

    Writer, Marketer & Mental Health Advocate

    Jay Sitapara is a Writer and Marketing Consultant based in Ahmedabad with the background in tech and startups. He writes about productivity, gender & sexuality and mental health. Currently, he might be playing with his dogs or writing a collection of essays or reading in his own personal library.