I used to have a really bad habit of making myself miserable all the time, just so that I could move on. I couldn’t justify leaving something; a job, a city, a relationship, unless it was painful to stay. As soon as a felt that urge and my restlessness kicked in, my brain would start focusing on all the negative aspects I could find and spin them out of control to the point where I had no other choice but to run away. Once I had piled up enough reasons for why I couldn’t stay, I would take off, despite my fear of the unknown. I would flee in total desperation and in fear for my own sanity. I was like a lawyer, building my case, gathering evidence against my current situation and finally convincing my fantasy members of the jury, that it would be a ruthless crime to stay.

This was a horrible strategy. Obviously.

Not only did I make myself miserable, but I also sabotaged relationships and forced my friends to listen to endless hours of complaining, while trying to engage them as jury members as well. I was secretly hoping that they would make the ruling for me, so I wouldn’t have to do it. That way, it wouldn’t be my fault if something went terribly wrong. So not only was I too much of a coward to take action in the first place, I didn’t even want to take responsibility for it once I finally did make a move.

Looking back, I wonder if the thoughts circling around in my head, like a dog chasing its own tail, actually created such a monster of my imagination that it would be impossible to say if I even had a real reason to leave at all.

But I won’t go down that rabbit hole. I left, so let’s just leave it at that. It often took years, sometimes even decades, but I finally moved on. I moved to another country, another job, another relationship. I have hopefully learned my lesson. Now I know that nothing good comes out of focusing on the negative and that you have no reason at all to hate where you are just to justify moving forward. In fact, only good can come out of doing the exact opposite.

Being grateful for what you have helps you to attract even more to be grateful for. We all know that what we focus on grows, so it’s inevitable that you will find more and more in your life to be thankful for.

The positive energy that comes from being truly happy with what you have, will open your eyes to new opportunities and connections. And you will feel better in the meantime too!

Taking pride in and responsibility for your life and your work, will make others trust you and want to be around you. Even if you move or change jobs, loyalty and trust will stick around.

Helping others with ideas and contacts, will make them want to help you too.

Slowly finding ways to tweak and improve yourself and your life will lead to a much bigger change in the end than running away in panic, taking all your issues and negative patterns with you. You can’t run away from yourself, as the very wise saying goes.

Being grateful cancels out a lot of negative emotions. Try being grateful and scared or grateful and angry at the same time. It can’t be done.

And finally, it’s not selfish or greedy to want more and to not want to settle for what’s “good enough”. If you have more things to do and more to give, it would be selfish not to do it and not to share it.

If you believe that you haven’t reached your full potential yet, but are not sure if you deserve it or if you dare to go after it — you are settling. But if you are grateful for what you have in your life now and take every step forward being happy about your progress and finding joy in the little things — you are heading for positive change and a fulfilled life.

More tips and stories to help you grow your comfort zone can be found @detoursandshortcuts on Facebook

Originally published at www.facebook.com.

Originally published at medium.com