In the spiritual work I do, I often see important life themes clustered together. It comes through in readings and in past life work. One repeating theme has been guiding loved ones here whose elderly parents are still alive. They’re fairly healthy, meaning they don’t have the label of “cancer” for the urgency to “say everything that needs to be said.”

But nevertheless, the feeling of urgency is still in the messages from the loved ones on the Other Side. And as much as I don’t like to be in the middle of a family argument, that’s what it can feel like as the messenger, when someone isn’t ready for the message that time is running out and that one day when their parent is gone, it will feel like it was just yesterday we had that urgent conversation.

Another cluster of messages that keeps coming up is about our soul’s DNA, our soul’s path. While many are busy discovering their human DNA and matches, I, and some like-minded friends have been busy excavating and learning from our soul DNA’s journey and why we chose this life and past lives, through past life regression, based on Dr. Brian Weiss’ ground-breaking work. Some people may recall Oprah had him on her show for several days, along with Dr. Oz.

This came up again when I was at a work meeting, sharing about a four hour past life regression I did for myself on my birthday. To do soul work on one’s birthday, to feed one’s soul and discover lessons from a past life is probably the best gift ever. I don’t know why I never thought to do that before.

I wanted to have the work meeting at a place in honor of my friend Fred. As we sat there in red vinyl booths, I wistfully imagined a vivacious Fred having lunch with Adam West.

I shared about a theme that Fred sparked for me, with his own example of treating others in his life as if they were family. And that Weiss’ work about past lives underscores for those of us thinking about life in a more spiritual, multi-dimensional manner – to not abide so much by the human roles we find ourselves in, but to value those whom our soul has true resonancy with.

To go with our soul’s true DNA matches, not what our blood work has told us we should be matched with, and supposedly should spend time with. These special souls instantly feel familiar, it feels like you’ve known them forever. Or someone who you feel should have been your mom or dad in this life. Or someone who isn’t your type, but you can’t stop feeling drawn to them and you don’t know why. These people are in our soul’s DNA. They’ve probably been soul partners in our past lives. Soul mates.

If you believe in the concept of past lives, as Dr. Weiss chronicles in many books since his first, then you’d know that perhaps 100 years ago when your ancestor from this life was in Italy, it’s likely you lived another life in another body, somewhere else on the planet in a different family line, and role, for your soul’s journey.

In the end, when we pass, none of it will matter if we shared the same DNA in this lifetime. What matters are the themes and lessons we chose to learn and experience this time around.

Sometimes a larger theme and lesson can bring on human side effects like guilt. After we’ve learned the life lesson or theme that brought on a situation and accompanying guilt, we should move forward and let go. Part of what Dr. Weiss says in his guided healing meditation, “Let go of sadness, guilt, shame and despair. You don’t need these anymore. Let go of anger and frustration, they only get in the way. Instead, feel the positive emotions, these make up your true inner self, the core of your being. These are your true inner states – peace, wisdom, love, joy. Let go of all fear. Instead, feel love, feel peace. As you do this, you’ll feel lighter. You will feel the weight lift off your shoulders.”

I’ve seen people truly be able to let go of guilt about what society or other people outside their situation would say is the correct move. There is no correct move, but the one our soul feels is the truth. Our truth. And why we chose this life. Our soul’s growth. That’s all we answer for when we cross over one day. Not another person’s life and growth, or what they thought was the right thing we should have done for them.

And it’s funny, I’ve not seen human conditions like guilt in past lives. Instead, the important things that remain are the themes we chose and the important soul partners we chose to experience that life with. Not being able to let go of guilt is not only wasted energy, but it’s validation one hasn’t learned the larger spiritual theme or lesson they chose that created that guilt to begin with.

We all know in our hearts what the truth is for ourselves. Our soul recognizes it. But we often let others around us dictate our truth, because it’s the “path of least resistance.” And it’s about saving face. Doing the perceived right thing for others, but not our own heart.

The physical effects of the path of least resistance, when one throws their hands up to the majority around them dictating what their truth should be, can come out in the form of weight gain they cannot seem to lose. That’s because they’ve not let go to their own truth, but allowed society’s voice to be their truth and to run their storyline. And they’ve not allowed themselves to let go of guilt, a burden they’ve carried to self-flagellate.

When I see themes in readings, it’s often different variations or sides of that theme, but the truth, the message for their soul’s growth and its freedom is always the same. These clusters of themes remind me of how important life theme and lessons we choose are more simple than we humanly think.

I’ve seen a grandparent work so hard at a factory job, until her body grew tired, and her spirit guide reminded her that they “died working.” But this hardworking grandparent didn’t have a choice because her grown up daughter had no job, but had a child from a one-night stand. There was no relationship with the father, nor did they care for one. They were thankful for the “sperm donor” as they called him. They didn’t want try to make someone be a father who didn’t want to be involved. They were just thankful for the gift of the child, regardless of whoever the person was that donated the sperm.

The message I found myself relaying from their guide to the tired grandparent was, “Just find a way for a couple hundred bucks a month, or whatever the support can be, and you can continue to not have a relationship with the father, just to have financial help so that you don’t have to work so hard at your age.” They reinforced their notion about not needing that relationship with him, and that this child chose their life path to be soul partners with the mother and grandparent.

There have been other similar examples, where only the mother and another person knew of who the father was of a one-night stand, but never revealed it to the child, because they felt it was the right path. Indeed that child didn’t have angst in life. To everyone, the child’s non-biological father is the “true father.” They all recognized their souls were meant to have the primary relationship of this true father and child, even though his blood work will never be a DNA match for this true soul connection that was meant to be his child in this life. On a higher level, their souls chose this storyline for reasons they know and will discuss when they cross back over one day at their Life Review.

In another example, the father knew his role was meant to just be a sperm donor, in what he called “a mistake” one night of unprotected sex with a stranger. His guides’ message was that spiritually he chose to walk through that “mistake” or chapter of life to learn the simple theme of “financial responsibility in general, not about them,” and they added the words “not personal,” which sounded a lot more neutral and objective than what one would think they would’ve said. But that’s what they said. He shared that while they may be right, he felt his life lesson was also about being picky about who he sleeps with, someone for love and not just random unprotected sex.

He said he felt cornered in life with this person he normally wouldn’t look twice at, or have a relationship with in the harsh light of day. The message from his guide was to let go of guilt.

Beyond paying what he pays by law, the man didn’t feel connected with the child or anyone in that family, as much as he tried to see or feel a connection. And that was his own validation for his soul’s truth. His guides said that the mother should see it as a blessing like the other family in the previous reading, and be grateful for money that actual anonymous sperm donors don’t give to mothers, instead of trying to push this man beyond what he could do, and what was meant to be on a higher level, for himself or them.

They said the mother’s life path spiritually was about her and her child learning life lessons and playing a role together. Without that “mistake” she wouldn’t have had the child. The guides said, biologically they needed the other piece of the puzzle to make that happen. He volunteered on a spiritual level to play that role, which offered his own separate life lesson about finances, not related to their lessons and life paths.

The message continued that he should rise above that lower vibrational energy that he felt trapped in by others. That he’d gotten stuck in the lower energy of guilt. That it doesn’t matter what the mother’s motives are or were, because that’s her own spiritual lessons. They said he played a tangential role of a storyline that was supposed to be an absent father and that he has never known that mother or the child’s soul in any past life. Validation for the lack of a soul connection he felt with them in this life. That he should see this human chapter as something he’s paid penance for and continues to pay for by law, and that that’s what matters for the financial lesson he chose this spiritual exercise for. That he didn’t need the guilt, that he should see if anyone should owe anything like gratitude, it should be the mother because it brought her a gift she probably wouldn’t have had, plus financial help she never would have had. And that letting go of them energetically, and not allowing the mother’s lower energy of perhaps a guilt trip or greed pervade, was also a spiritual favor to them. To allow them on a higher level to move on to other life lessons sparked by that storyline they chose. Sure, the chance taken was he could be seen as the bad guy and lose face, but they reminded him, as he felt, he already probably was and always will be in that storyline and role he chose in their human eyes, so he had nothing to lose but allow everyone new life lessons, to move on energetically from one another beyond the financial part by law.

The most important message was to forgive himself. It clouded up years of his life because of his own wasted energy of self-loathing about a “dumb mistake” as he put it, that has kept someone he never would’ve chosen in real life, clinging to him in what felt like was a parasite financially, a barnacle. But more importantly, it was an energy drain.

He was the heaviest he’d ever weighed, and they said it was because of the guilt and shame that began with the “mistake.” He wasn’t able to move into seeing the larger spiritual lesson he chose, instead he opted to stayed stuck in the lower vibrational human feelings and drama, which even took him off his own larger life path and other important spiritual themes he chose this life for, such as experiencing true love. But it’s easier to self-flagellate about his mistake with people who will always be strangers on a soul level, who he allowed to bring him down to a lower vibrational energy of fear of what others might think of him, than to have the courage to live his true life path this time around, which was to let real love in with his soul DNA’s true partner in this life.

Sometimes it’s easier to battle it out with people you don’t care about and stay in that lower vibrational energy and ugliness, than to put oneself on the line to allow something real in, because maybe people we truly like could leave us one day, or worse, not like us for our true selves.

The message continued that the child had the right to know the truth – a night of two strangers in a pub, because after all, that child’s soul chose that storyline from the Other Side when they designed this life. They said the child could feel there wasn’t much of an authentic connection when they were all together anyways.

There’s a person in the public eye in the UK that shares about being born from a sperm donor. Perhaps it is better to not know the identity and just know that we need two human pieces of the puzzle to create one body. And that human body that resulted from the biology chose a certain life path and storyline to fulfill and learn lessons and themes from.

I know couples who are same sex partners who paid for an egg, a surrogate mother, or sperm to create the human being that is meant to be their soul DNA’s true match for their storylines in this lifetime. The husband of a partner whose sperm didn’t get used doesn’t feel left out when they bond with their soul’s true daughter or son in this life. He’s just thankful there was a donor egg option to create the human vessel that houses the correct soul that has come through as their child in this life, their true soul connection.

Everyone chooses their life path, their human storyline when we come into these biological bodies that require two pieces of the puzzle to create us. It matters not how we were created. What matters is we get to be in human bodies in this lifetime and in past lives, and learn certain life lessons and themes we wanted to experience. 

I have seen someone in a past life have a biological child, a baby, who he didn’t feel connected to, in an era way before DNA, when castles were active. He felt no connection either to the person who was matched to be his wife (since he felt he had to get married at a certain age). When he met his true love, his soul partner in that lifetime, he left the castle, wife and young child, for this woman who his soul instantly felt a connection with, and moved to her hut. The wife, who also just coldly went along with the arranged marriage, found her own true love, someone who became the true father to the child in that lifetime. The child grew up not knowing who the biological father was, and without DNA then, there was no need to worry about it either. He just knew, and felt in his soul, that his true father was the second man. And that’s what was meant to be – their souls had contracts to play those primary roles in that lifetime.

These precious lives are here for just a short time in comparison to the many lifetimes that we have had the privilege to live and experience before. When we cross over back to the Other Side, it never matters what the DNA blood work was while here, it’s not about who our biological relative was or wasn’t while here. It’s about who we chose to play the primary roles with as our soul’s true connections. The few special people who are our soul partners, soul mates on this all-too short journey.

What matters are the themes, lessons we chose for ourselves, the roles we played for the storylines around us with others, even if it’s tangentially for their life lessons. It’s about the love we do choose to give to the people who we consider our soul DNA’s true matches in this lifetime. Our soul partners. Our soul mates.


  • Kari is a writer and intuitive. The Go Beyond Here podcast is on iHeart Radio and in the U.K. on Podcast Radio, which also airs in London, Birmingham, Surrey, Manchester and Glasgow. She believes in using her gift to be of service, and is a frequent guest on radio stations including WBZ iHeart Radio, Boston, and KGO, San Francisco, giving free readings to listeners connecting loved ones and pets. She's also on stations around the country, Canada, and SiriusXM. Her readings are offered in the official GRAMMY gift bags to presenters and performers, and mentioned in Harper's Bazaar. She donates readings to charities that include William Shatner's Hollywood Charity Horse Show. Bylines incl.: PopSugar UK, Daily Telegraph (UK), Paste, KCET-TV, Kindred Spirit (UK). Guest blogs: Fastbikes (UK), Bike Rider (NZ), (AU).