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When it comes to finding love after a breakup or divorce, one of the best ways to heal from the feeling of being too damaged to be loved is to bring in creativity, joy and play into your life. These are all necessary for your overall wellness and will get your body moving and start getting you into a higher vibration!

Everyone has flaws. Take yourself off the hook. Stop defining yourself by your flaws, pointing at them as the reason you believe you are not lovable.  

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

If you are concerned that something is wrong with you, you are too damaged to be loved or emotionally broken, or wonder if you are just not enough… you can release that right now!

Because being imperfect and flawed is being human, and humans love each other.

Maybe you have emotional PTSD from a past abusive relationship or from being with a narcissistic partner. This will not stop people from wanting to date you or falling in love with you.

Creativity, joy, and play are necessary for overall wellness and help you build confidence.

Here are several ways to reconnect to yourself, have fun, put yourself out there in the world and realize you are wonderful and amazing just as you are!

1. Have a creative outlet or hobby that brings you the most joy

This not only brings out your playful side but gives you an opportunity to meet and connect with those who have similar interests. Experiencing your favorite hobby is also a confidence builder. It gets you out of your head. It gets us in the flow rather than remaining stagnant.

When you are focused on joy and something you love, it gives you a different aura. People will find this very attractive.  

2. Join a team sports

Exercise does the body good! Playing sports for fun is a great way to meet friends. Engaging with people through physical activity is a great way to bond and connect. You’ll be building muscles and stamina, which is good for relationships for obvious reasons, while having fun and opening yourself up to meeting new people.

Even if you don’t connect with anyone you play with directly, you may connect with a teammate’s friend who comes to the game.

 4. Go to social gatherings and get out into the world

This increases your chances of finding love and overcoming the fear that you are too damaged to be loved. Meeting more people means meeting more people looking for someone like you. This is also a confidence builder because you realize you have options.

5. Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine. It releases energy and creates an energetic flow.  It relieves us of depression. Watch funny movies or tv shows.  Connecting with potential partners over a mutual sense of humor is wildly intoxicating. 

Connecting with like-minded individuals can be a great way to overcome the fear of being too damaged for love.  Humor is a great way to connect over a shared pain or series of damaging experiences in a light-hearted and playful way.

7.  Host a board game night for your friends or family

If the community isn’t a big part of your life, create it! Bring people from different parts of your life together. Get comfortable hosting people in your home and socialize.  How can you feel comfortable with a lover if you aren’t comfortable spending time with your friends at home or in an intimate setting? Allow your current friends in a little bit more. 

8. List your favorite childhood activities, and relive them as an adult

Relearn to play.  If you loved video games as kid, take yourself and a friend to an arcade.  Go to an amusement park or the adult version of that, perhaps a museum you’ve been wanting to check out? 

Take that skydiving adventure you’ve been wanting to take. List what gave you joy as a child, and then make it a priority in your calendar to do the grown-up version!

That way, when someone asks what you do for fun you have an answer ready and more than likely an interesting story!  This makes socializing way easier, increases your confidence, and opens you up to meeting someone special. 

9. Connect with animals

Connecting with animals brings us into that childlike state of mind that opens us up to the possibilities of love and creativity without the jaded adult barriers.  Animals bring loving energy to your life and like attracts like! 

10. Spend time with children

There is something about spending time with kids that brings us grown-ups into the present moment.  Playing imagination games, coloring, and being with someone who is simply happy to be with you is so healing and brings us back into that space.  

11. Play dress up every day

Anow outfit can change your whole mood and transport you to a different place. What some adults forget is that clothes really do matter. This doesn’t mean you have to wear the most expensive clothes. It just means you must dress in clothes that make you feel good.

Take pride in your appearance.  It does so much for your energy and confidence. When people notice you, it’s not necessarily because of what you are wearing; it’s because of how your clothes make you feel. 

12. Dance

When we connect with our bodies with movement, it creates major shifts in our life. It attracts abundance, and it can attract love. I don’t mean pulling the hottest moves on the dance floor is going to have your soul mate walking up to you asking to have “this dance,” rather it’s going to shift your frequency up to the point where you draw in what is for your highest good. You can dance.

  • In a nightclub or bar
  • In a dance class 
  • In your own home, freestyle in your pajamas 

14. Cook

Another confidence builder, being able to cook also makes it fun to have people over.  Cooking is an expression of love and a way to nurture your body, your home, and your relationships.  

15. Try something new

Simply being open to new experiences increases your chances of meeting someone.  The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.  Try something new.  

16. Get out of your comfort zone. That’s where most everything you want is.

You’ll also amaze yourself when you see yourself adapting and thriving in situations and environments you once thought you wouldn’t enjoy or do well in. 

17.  Join a Group or Community

Belonging to a community is great for mental health.  Being regularly surrounded by people who enjoy and value you is a great reminder that you are not in any way too damaged for love. Common types of communities people belong to are:

  • Political activism 
  • Volunteering for a cause that matters to you
  • Churches, Synagogues, Buddhist Temples, and Mosques 
  • Yoga and meditation studies
  • Joing a hiking group
  • Searching gatherings and events on meetup.com to meet others with mutual interests
  • Take classes in anything you find interesting or are passionate about, could be bellydancing or mountain climbing

18. Yoga… it’s not over-rated

Yoga teaches us to do something for the sake of the process rather than the fruits that bloom as a result.  This is an important concept when it comes to finding a relationship when we feel too damaged to be loved. 

When we become too result-oriented, we may give up before we strike gold.  Some people become frustrated when they feel they have been doing all of the right things for X amount of time and are still single and struggling to feel worthy of an amazing relationship.  

There is a bit of a paradox when it comes to aligning yourself to receive love because you must feel love or joy in order to attract it. Like attracts like.

While finding love may be the impetus that inspired you to do anything from the above list or something else of your choosing that makes you feel playful, it is what the act of playful creativity does for your soul and your energy that should be the reason you make It a nonnegotiable part of your life.

Stay in the feeling of joy or creativity.

You know how they say you can’t find love if you’re looking for it? Instead of searching for a person, search for joy. Search for creativity.  Search for play. Search for adventure. 

Finding true and lasting love is the second bird that is killed with one stone.  It’s a result of staying committed to your evolution. When we stay playful and creative, we heal ourselves.  I want to reemphasize this vital statement:

Let’s Talk, I’m here to help you.

As a Certified Life Coach, CPCC and Master Neuro-linguistic Programming Practitioner, MNLP, I can help men and woman searching for love again after loss and heal what’s necessary to stop feeling emotionally broken or damaged. Want to talk? Schedule your free coaching session. 

This article was originally published at www.jacquelineneuwirth.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.


  • Jacqueline Neuwirth

    Life & Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP

    Jacqueline Neuwirth is a Board Certified Life and Relationship Coach, CPCC, MNLP, helping clients get unstuck in every aspect of love and relationships, from finding love, healing from a breakup, learning red flags, healing from a narcissist relationship, deciding if you should stay or leave, or how to improve your current relationship. With over 25+ years of experience consulting with individuals and Fortune 500 Companies, plus a life-long study of psychology her ten-year journey working one-on-one with a zen monk, she combines intuitive wisdom and practical tools to help people stop the cycle of negative patterns in a no-nonsense and deeply authentic way! Transform your love life with personalized guidance and support. Get ready to call in what you want most. Sign up for your free consultation.