Get rid of the comparison spiral. I remember that when I got started in business, I was constantly comparing myself with the ones who had more experience than myself and that led me to devalue myself or what I could offer to my clients. Today, I understand that everyone’s journey is unique and that the ones I used to compare myself with also had their fair share of struggles, challenges and setbacks at some point.
As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Fabienne Raphaël
Fabienne Raphaël is the creator of the DREAM Method. She helps former pro/elite athletes monetize their expertise and leverage their sports career into a successful coaching business, so they can feel a spark as or even more exciting as the one they had in their athlete’s career.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
I feel that there were 2 main life experiences that most shaped me in who I am today.
The first one was when I said yes to playing for Team Canada in handball.
It was at a time where I was crazy busy with studying, but I felt the urge to train to follow my dream of qualifying for the Olympics. The number of opportunities and self-growth that I got out of that decision alone is amazing.
The second one was to embrace the entrepreneurial route.
Entrepreneurship boosted the curiosity that I already naturally had.
It’s also the best mindset growth journey there is, after parenting lol.
I’m forever grateful to my life partner Regi who’s been my rock through this journey.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
I used to believe that success was evaluated out of the amount of money you earn.
Or the amount of people you knew.
Or how popular you were, meaning the amount of your social media followers.
How has your definition of success changed?
Along the way, I realized that all of these were wrong.
Success is for me to feel aligned with who I am and what I do, to be present for my life partner and boys, to influence other people’s lives with my work, to continue to grow and evolve over time.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
I feel that we need to focus on the essentials and get rid of the crap.
All these things that we fill our calendars to be doing, in the name of showing off as busy people.
Being busy isn’t leading anywhere.
Empathy, compassion and purpose do.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
It is as if the pandemic forced us to introspect. The lock down forced us to ask ourselves the right questions. To acknowledge if we were or not surrounded by the right people. To evaluate if we were happy. To realize that life is short (even if we knew that before) and that it’s worth it to do something that we love.
On my end, the pandemic forced me to go back to my essence and follow my gut with who I help in business — athletes. Former elite/pro athletes.
I am a former elite athlete myself and all my professional life has been gravitating in the sports world.
Today, I am happy to serve them and every day, I can say that I wake up and feel like I’m living my purpose.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?” (Please share a story or example for each.)
1. Stop looking for success outside of yourself
The media does a great job of showing us how the more you have, the more successful you are. But that’s not true. Because yet, some people seem to have it all financially, but they still feel miserable. To me, success is something that comes from within and yes, it can allow you to attract abundance, financial freedom and wealth.
2. Take the time to evaluate what makes you happy and do it
For too long, I thought that people’s approval was necessary to consider myself as successful. So, I was always doing my best to make my teachers happy, or my family happy, or my coaches, in fact, everyone. Until the day I realized that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone AND I’m way better off being myself and doing what makes me happy. In fact, that has a ripple effect, because I am happier and attract people that fit way more in my life than ever before.
3. Get rid of the comparison spiral
I remember that when I got started in business, I was constantly comparing myself with the ones who had more experience than myself and that led me to devalue myself or what I could offer to my clients. Today, I understand that everyone’s journey is unique and that the ones I used to compare myself with also had their fair share of struggles, challenges and setbacks at some point.
4. Keep a Success Journal and read it again whenever you don’t feel successful — it will cheer you up!
That’s what I do. I keep data. Testimonials, screen captures, transactions that are proof of how I make an impact in other people’s lives and how my work is meaningful to this world.
5. Be open to transformation. You can’t become what you inspire if you’re not willing to change internally.
I feel that this is the most important thing. I don’t think that success can be yours if you’re not ready to receive it and if you’re not open to transformation. I feel that each time that you want to access a higher level of self, you must embrace the discomfort and come out better on the other side.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
There would be so much pressure off our shoulders, AND it would make this world a better place.
Happier people, happier behavior, more empathy, more compassion, more understanding, more unity.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
I feel that the biggest obstacle is comparison. So many people have so many different views on success… So, one might be tempted to compare who they are, what they have or who they know with their neighbors or people they look up to, or people they envy.
The only person you should compare yourself to is… drumroll lol… yourself!
If you become a better version of yourself each and every single day… To me, that’s success.
Where do you go to look for information and information about how to redefine success?
I don’t think that there is anywhere we can “look for information about how to redefine success” … I feel that we can get inspired by great mentors, coaches, or authors on mindset, but that the true meaning of success comes from within. And there are as many definitions as there are people on this planet.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
Lately, I watched “Best Shape of my Life” and just received Will Smith’s book, Will.
Having a private breakfast with Will & Jada would be amazing, talking about growth, mindset, success and life partnership.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
They can go at www.fabienneraphael.com or connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.