My fear has curly hair, a medium build, smooth skin, and the roundest, cutest face. Fear is a great friend. Fear reminds us that we might want to proceed with caution. Fear keeps us out of trouble. Fear reminds us that the world is not fair, and that sometimes we have to work with, rather than against fear.

The depression I know is about the size of a small bear, has lots of layers to love, gives the best hugs, and often pops up out of nowhere. Depression is a very useful friend. Depression reminds us that even though we may feel unloved or unworthy, we are very much worthy of love from ourselves and others. Depression is the gentle tug at our hearts, reminding us to grieve when necessary and forcing us to take a moment to sit down when we forget.

You see, fear and depression are both fine and dandy. They exist within a world full of necessary states of being. But when fear blocks the exit, where is depression supposed to go? The problem is that depression overstays their welcome and fear just eggs them on. Fear makes us think that depression won’t ever go away, and that everything we try? We’ll fail.

Depression, naturally, hides from the bullying behavior of fear. Depression holds tightly onto their host, not letting go. This is not good for those of us who regularly host depression and fear at the same time. Depression can go away on their own if we let them, but when depression’s best friend (fear) starts playing too much, hopelessness starts knocking at the door, and sometimes anxiety creeps from under the bed.

The key to making sure that we make it through another day is to recognize that fear is an instigator that loves depression’s company.


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Originally published at medium.com